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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find passive aggressive people very very very irritating indeed

31 replies

CallMeBubblesEverybodyDoes · 23/06/2011 10:25

A "friend", of mine is slowly getting more and more passive aggressive. I think she is quite jealous of anyone that has or does something that she doesn't have or do.

I have recently started working from home, for myself, for a couple of hours each day. Her response when I told her about this "Well it sounds like something ANY of us could do when our little ones nap". Okay, fine,so start a similar thing yourself then.

I was off to the dentist to have some composite veneers on my front teeth. Her reaction; "Oh well that should certainly look interesting. Can't wait to see that" with a hint of a snigger in her voice.

She doesn't upset me, I just ignore her comments or I make out that I think she was complimenting me "Oh I'm so glad you think the veneers will look nice, I can't wait to show them to you as I know you'll love them". But there just seem to be so many passive aggressive people around, and I find them irritating. Surely it stops them from having good friendships as people are either put off by the nasty comments or dont' find them genuine as a person.

Rant over!

OP posts:
slipperandpjsmum · 23/06/2011 15:25

As my dd would say this person is a frienemy. Friends are supposed to make you feel better about yourself and be honest when required, in a supportive way. There are enough people ready to knock you without your friends doing it!!

I had a friend who was as you have described and decided that although I had known her since we were at school I could not continue our relationship and I ended it. Best thing I ever did. My only regret was that it took me so long to do it!!

Laquitar · 23/06/2011 15:33

Hmm OP it is ...interesting that you feel this way Smile

Grin
pingu2209 · 23/06/2011 15:36

it is all to do with jelousy in my opinion. People get eaten up with it - envy/jelousy and then make comments.

BitOfFun · 23/06/2011 15:37

Trolling and flaming is straightforwardly aggressive, I would have thought. Passive-aggressive covers things like being late and inconveniencing people because you feel like you are more important, or you didn't want to go in the first pace but couldn't say as much.

Laquitar · 23/06/2011 15:37

I forgot to say that YANBU.

I had an ex who was very PA and it was like slow death living with him.

DoMeDon · 23/06/2011 15:43

I often say 'ooh you've had your hair cut' - I mean it in a I have noticed way. It's not meant to be passive-aggressive - honest Blush

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