to be annoyed at dh??

[CocktailQueen]

He got in from work about 10 mins ago - late, granted, but has been sitting on delayed train in 1st class compartment with laptop so he has been working - I had literally just sat down as had been cleaning shower, making dd's packed lunch, other housework etc. I asked casually, fancy a cuppa/something to eat? and put kettle on, then went upstairs to put away washing.

He called up to me 5 mins later, in aggrieved tone, 'are you making me anything or do I have to make it?' so I said, 'well, I'll make your cuppa but why don't you look in fridge to see what you'd like'... he said 'you offered me tea then disappeared - I've been working all day' - yes but I have too!!!! So AIBU to be so cross with him? Grumpy old shit.

mmm I get that most nights. I just see it as part of my housework!

Hmm, am reading Wifework at the moment so maybe it has made me more militant than usual! But I wasn't expecting him for tea so hadn't made any (or for me!)

Oh right ok. That does piss me off if he tells me he doesn't/won't be wanting tea and then starts moaning if there is none!

yanbu but next time don't offer the 'something to eat?' line.

i dont get this? it isnt 1950 is it??

It is in my house Ilovetiffany!
Honestly, I don't mind doing the meals,housework ect as I am a SAHM but it certainly would be different if I was working.

Ivor, you see your husband giving you orders as just more "housework" ?

that is fucked up

No, but if I offer to give him dinner, its normal to give it isnt it?!

Ok I don't understand what I wrote ther either!
I mean I don't mind making meals as usually he is home to eat them and when he gets in I offer it, he says yes...........thats not an order.

BluddyMoFo

The OP had only popped upstairs for 5 minutes, and he was yelling at her. That's bloody rude, whether she had offered him dinner or not.

Not yelling millie, OP said he called up!

Called in an aggrieved tone then. It's still rude IMO.

I would see that as "give me my dinner now, wench"

which would prompt a "fuck off and DIY" response from me

from my POV, that is the most appropriate reply to someone expecting I would drop everything immediately when they walked through the door

I think if you offered a cuppa and something to eat then I'd probably assume you would at least shout through what you'd found in the fridge. I wouldn't however shout up the stairs at you if you'd only been gone 5mins.

Maybe next time just offer a cuppa or say there's stuff in the fridge if you're hungry. Which is my usual line to DH.