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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just witnessed something really awful and I don't have a clue what to do aboutit

39 replies

ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 17:53

I was walking DD back from after school club and I saw a little boy of 5-6 with lots of blood all over his hands and face. I was in absolute shock at what I saw and then I turned behind me realised his CM was standing with a group of other Mums talking. She and they seemed to be ignoring the little boy and just talking together, although I didn't understand the language so they might have been talking about what had happened to him.

I know his CM she is in the next road and I see her with him and her other charges so I looked directly at her as if to say WTF and then she walked up to him with a tissue but seemed to be scolding him. By then I was walking away, which I feel shit about Really he had such an awful injury he should have been in A&E and from what I saw she had the sense of urgency as if it were a playground graze.

I don't have a clue what to do I just keep thinking about his shocked face and the fact that she hadn't even stopped to see to him. But I know it was a snapshot though and maybe, hopefully she will take him to be checked over. It looked like a gash on his head but his hands were covered too. We do have a mutual friend - shall I ask her if she knew what happened?

OP posts:

meditrina · 22/06/2011 18:25

Are you absolutely sure it wasn't paint or ink from a broken felt tip?

Surely a badly injured child would be making lots of noise too?

bobbinogs · 22/06/2011 18:26

I have monumental nosebleeds and within a minute of them starting I can look like i've been stabbed. Strangers have pulled over and tried to take me to I hospital when i've erupted in public. Something very minor can look really shocking....

Original poster

ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 18:28

zandy my "look" meant she then offered him a tissue and stood him by her and the other mothers at least, before that he was on his own. It was all I could do at the time and you definately are missing something in the overall scenario.

I think I will mention to our mutual friend - "was X ok after the other day". I just hope it was a nosebleed and I am wrong. Thank you everyone.

OP posts:

Ivortheengine8 · 22/06/2011 18:31

Was the boy actually in pain?
It may have been a harmless nosebleed or he may have a condition which makes him prone to it.
How do you know the mother was not a Dr or nurse and knew it wasnt serious?
It sounds as if the mum and her friend sknew what was going on so if it were serious I highly doubt they would just leave it.
I dont think it is your place to report it though if you don't know what happened and didnt ask.

youarekidding · 22/06/2011 18:36

Not sure about whole situation but I agree if it concerns you seek to find out how he was. Easily done with a simple 'oh is x OK after he cut himself'. You may get 'oh was a nosebleed' or 'yes, fine had 3 stitches'. Then you can assess how you take it futher?

TBH though my DS 6yo will often just stand there in silence and bleed even when he's needed stitches/glue. If I am not looking at him I would not know - and children this age often play away from adults. The distance wouldn't concern me. And if he's done it falling off a wall I've just told him not to climb he would probably get 'well thats why I said no' as a first sentence.

BalloonSlayer · 22/06/2011 18:36

I do think it sounds dreadful OP but I must point out that "going into shock" is a serious physical condition caused by plummeting blood pressure due to massive blood loss. This should not be confused with "being shocked," which is a strong feeling of distress and disbelief caused by being in an accident or having something nasty happen. It's important to be careful not to confuse the two, especially if you take this further. Should you report that the little boy was in danger of going into shock it gives an inaccurate picture.

On the subject of taking this further, is there any way you could discreetly find out who his parents are and have a word?

Original poster

ScarlettIsWalking · 22/06/2011 18:41

Ivor please read his Mother was nowhere near it was his CM and her friends present.

Thank you Balloon you are right - I think he was "shocked" - pale, quiet.

OP posts:

lesley33 · 22/06/2011 18:44

I had lots of nose bleeds as a child and got very used to them. I would be very calm if a child had a nose bleed as really it is no big deal.

Also if a child has cut themselves on the head, you can get a lot of blood from a small cut. I remember my oldest DD getting a very small cut on her head. She ran over to me to get my attention in the playground - I was dealing with my youngest - and when I turned to look at her the blood was literally running down her fact. It looked horrific and yes I freaked, but it was actually a very superfacial cut.

Ivortheengine8 · 22/06/2011 18:53

Scarlette, sorry I didnt read it well. What sort of age was the CM?

Spagbolagain · 22/06/2011 18:55

Either the situation looked really bad, in which case you should have stepped in and asked boy if he was ok, asked CM if there was anything you could do to help if you thought she was being negligent. OR the situation made you slightly uncomfortable but not enough to say anything, and therefore wasn't that serious. You can't have it both ways.

If the child truly had an "awful injury" and you didn't even offer to help or ask if he was ok, then you are totally BU. Being shocked and aghast but failing to actually do anything sounds a bit pathetic IMO. If the child has actually been injured then the parents will notice when they get home, so not sure what you would achieve by stirring afterwards.

ohhappyday · 22/06/2011 19:01

spagbolagain - I wouldn't say it was stirring afterwards - what concerns me apart from the obvious injury is the CM's apparent lack of proper care and consideration. I completely understand about not over-reacting to a situation - but this is way beyond that. OK, the parents will see the injury but they will not be able to see the CM'S reaction. If this were my child I would be furious.

She sounds that she is either unfit for the job or needs serious re training

worraliberty · 22/06/2011 19:05

She sounds that she is either unfit for the job or needs serious re training

Even if it's not an injury?

Spagbolagain · 22/06/2011 19:08

I agree, and I would've stepped in and checked the boy was ok. Surely anybody would just ask if he was alright if it looked that bad?

To ask questions afterwards sounds like stirring to me, because if it was that bad you surely would feel compelled to say something at the time, not via a 3rd party after the event? Just sounds odd.

DooinMeCleanin · 22/06/2011 19:19

Dd2 had one of those tiny little nicks on finger a couple of days ago. It was one of those that bleed loads and she kept sucking at it and then wiping it on her dress/face/legs etc. By the time we got to school she looked like she had been in a serious accident, with blood all around her mouth, all over her dress, in her hair. Dd1's teacher wanted to call the first aid person, but I'd already checked the finger and it was just a tiny nick.

YABU as you don't know what happened. I certainly wouldn't ignore it completely just incase, but check how he is now/what actually happened before you go complaining to anyone.

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