to think that rowing occasionally with DH is normal and no one elses business?

[mrsballandchain]

Name changed for this, and its long sorry, but this is eating away at me today.

I'm working mad overtime ATM as I am currently working my notice in one job while having already started another, and when I got home sunday DH hadn't done the cleaning as promised and had instead spent all day on the bloody ps3 there was a bit of a row. We have a postage stamp of a place so after a few minutes I make him leave so I could calm down at him.

He also hung a damn sheet over a picture without thinking so I was livid as it had to be chucked out, so may have been a bad row but it doesnt happen often, infact we only row about him being a slob. And I conceed it may have been a bit louder as I was so exhausted and at the end of my rope. Anyway last night we are coming in from a night with friends and neighbour is locking up for the night. Now I was polite and did the sort of smile and head nod and she started laying into me.

Now I apologised unreservadly for the noise but thats not enough apparently. We are ruining whats left of her life with our constant rows, my husband or I obviously beat the other (WTF????) and shes going to report him to his vicar (again WTF????). Also very very annoyed that DH wouldnt talk to her other than to say sorry and I dont want to talk now when he was on his way to the car after me asking him to leave.

Where is it written that he has to talk to her about why he fights with his wife? He said sorry about the row/noise surely thats enough info for her. And for what its worth me and DH tried to think of the last time we rowed and there was snow, so constant is a leap!

Now AIBU to think that a married couple occasionally rowing is a fact of life, just like in her case her visitors slamming the door so loud my windows rattle and their kids making horrendous racket when they visit. I've never once said anything because, as much as it annoys me, she has the right to visitors, and while they make horrible noise they do so at reasonable hours, and this building is a alittle crap in construction.

She starts on me over EVERY little noise and reported me to the landlord over "alledged" breaches of the tenancy to try and get me chucked out. I've tried to be nice and its been better lately, but one row and we are satan. Its TMI but in honesty its affecting our TTC as im nervous to have sex incase the bed creeks and she complains, thats how bad she has been in the past over things like walking arround at 6.30, you know getting up and going to work! Not to meantion the screaming and treatening to set her kids on my over the noise the landlords builders were making when repairing our place!! And DH is really upset at being labeled a wife beater. AIBU in thinking shes out of order in assuming that and her extreme reactions to noise during the day?

the last thing was about a month after DH moved in, we got a letter from HA saying they had been made aware that we had done alterations to the property in violation of our tenancy. I called them up and said come round right now theres nothing been done im fed up of this harrasment etc etc and they took it very seriously and told me they "would deal with the matter and not to worry". Nothing since, and shes been more than ok the last year or so. It was our anniversary last week so we thought maybe she calmed down because I obviously wasnt some chav scum popping out babies with many different dads iykwim.

She doesnt seem to like half the tenants tbh. One is a crazy old fool who should be made to go into a home, the other is a cripple who stinks and its highly offensive etc etc (she complains them to other tenants quite vocally in the hallways, makes DH very uncomfortable when its to him). One of the reasons I got a HA property is to do with problems feeling safe in my home (dont want to go into details) and it just makes me nervous of going out to the bins incase her kids are there when shes like this. I don't think AIBU, maybe I am, all i want is to be able to live my life not worrying if im not perfect shes going to start up the threats again.

We used to live next to some really odd neighbours who were what I would call "noise sensitive". We never had friends over (the place was too small), never had parties or played music late, always had the TV reasonably low etc.. but they would bang on the wall if we laughed too loudly (and this was early evening, not the middle of the night) or bang on the door and complain if we played music on a Saturday lunch time (and not loudly). They obviously just couldn't take what I would call normal noise in a block with shared walls.

I never complained about the neighbour the other side practising the piano and singing.. I never complained about hearing them having sex or having a row or their TV on occasion, because it's NORMAL.. some people just get fixated on the smallest things.

My boyfriend and I were having a play fight once (tickling) and giggling and they banged on the door in a dramatic fashion.. we usually ignored them but I had had enough of it so I flung open the door and raised an eyebrow. The guy said he thought he'd heard us arguing and was I ok (in a faux concerned voice). I just gave him a quizzical expression and said, that wasn't us sorry, maybe it was someone on the other side? And shut the door.

I am SO glad we don't live there anymore..

OP I don't know much about how HA housing works, but am I right in thinking she is also HA even if she is an owner-occupier? If so could you complain?

Or do that Homeswapper thing suggested by another poster - even if the area is great, sounds like your place is too small for you if you are ttc and also just too stressful. Honestly, moving to a place without neighbour problems is BLISS :)