in thinking this is just inconsiderate, bloody minded and plain rude?

[LifeIsButtercream]

There is a spider in my kitchen. I have given it a very polite talking to, explaining in detail why I would really like it to move on, that it has outstayed it's welcome and it should really seek alternate accommodation. It is preventing me from accessing my bin and has not sought appropriate planning permission for it's large web.

It has refused point-blank to move. I think it has identified me as a soft-touch and is planning to leech free accommodation off me for the forseable future just because it knows that I am too kindhearted to hoover it up and too scared to touch it.

Eight-legged little fucker

AIBU?

Don't hoover it up. It doesn't kill them and they can and do crawl back out the pipe. I've seen it happen. It ran across the floor a few minutes later. Little fucker.

sod the karma, get a hoover. Spiders are tough motherf* and look like they could survive a nuclear winter. This is the one thing, more than anything else, which would give me the willies about single parenthood: the prospect that at some point I might have to handle a large and frightening looking spider on my own. Shudder....

A1980 posted before I saw your post... are you serious? that's the most frightening thing I can imagine since the credit crisis ended.

Hoover it up. I'm that terrified of them it would be hoover it up or move house and leave it there.

Get a cat. Plonk said cat in kitchen. Get jar. Capture spider. Release spider in front of cat.

The cat will catch it and eat it.

Give cat back to whoever you borrowed it from.

When I first started living alone, many moons ago, I got a cat at least in part for it's spider destroying capabilities.

Also, cat's are are cheaper and less demanding than husbands [ponders swapping dh for another kitten]

"cat's are are cheaper and less demanding than husbands"

I don't know about that Jux!

I squished a spider shortly before I saw this thread. It was large & just scuttling by my foot, so I stamped on it. Felt a nanosecond of remorse, then moved on with my life.

... and now this thread is making me think of its devastated mate, all the flies & things it might have killed if I hadn't cut its life short ... I am a horrible person . And YOU are horrible people for making me realise I'm horrible!

Just noticed it's gone! It was most definitely squashed. Cat must have eaten it! So its death wasn't completely in vain ...

TIBS - Where can I get a husband that is cheaper than my cat, less trouble, and removes dead spider mess while I'm not looking? I might consider adopting one

Oh OK TwoIfBySea! "cats are cheaper ....".

Mine are, anyway!

garlicnutter, I'll lend you one of mine, coz I is nice like that

They might survive a Hoover, but not a Dyson - all that spinning disintegrates them.

All the people saying to get a bit of paper and put a glass over make me and . Look up the word phobia maybe? Do you realise how many years of therapy you'd have to go through to get to the stage of being close enough to a spider to put paper under it. G-yaaaaaaaaah!!

If you leave the spider to grow too big, you'll come home from the shops one day to find that it's changed the locks and put all your stuff in bin bags in the front garden. Evict it before it can evict you.

And do careful with all that "get a cat to catch the spider" nonsense: just look what happened to the old lady who swallowed a fly.

That happened to me, openerofjars! It hadn't even packed my stuff properly, and everything was getting soaked in the rain!

I got my neighbours to help me break in. The spider took one look at me and ran ... it had a phobia of people. Phew! Lucky escape, huh?

I have a phobia of spiders. That's why I got the cats.

I'd swap spider for a mouse... We had a dinner party last night for very good friend and her lovely but frightfully posh new boyfriend. All going well until coffees and petit fours, when frightfully posh said "Oh I say, you appear to have a rodent gleaming at me from your dishwasher".

The shame. The burning shame.

Well, it must have been a very clean rodent if it was gleaming.

Anyway, don't be intimidated by Posh Boyfriend: he can't have been that posh if he mentioned it. The queen wouldn't have said a thing.

Don't Hoover it, it might crawl out again
Whack it with yellow pages
Job done