...to post rotten fish to my neighbour?

[MackerelOfFact]

Well, not exactly to them. I would address the package to a fictional person and then leave it in the communal hallway for whomever it is in out building who opens all the parcels and disregards them if it's something boring (they don't like books) or pockets it if it's something valuable (such as a mobile phone or a delivery of sports equipment).

I have some lovely smelly past-their-best whole seabass which it would be a shame to waste...

Any ideas OP of who it is? You should phone the Police (after sending the rotten fish of course!)

Ooh I like that suggestion iloveutoo

I don't know who it is unfortunately. I have long suspected Flat 6 as they also like to enagage in other kinds of low-level anti-social behaviour (loud music, weed smoking) and they mysteriously manage keep their bikes in the communal areas without anyone nicking them. However, I've recently noticed a parcel of theirs which had been tampered with too, so now I'm not so sure.

Loving the powder. Most of our neighbours are of Carribean descent though, so not sure how visibly it would stain their skin if they happened to be the culprits? I guess bright pink is pretty visible on all skin tones.

Agree with the CCTV, that IS important and expensive stuff, this person is a thief that needs to be reported.

I would empty the contents of a nappy into a Tiffany ribboned box. They won't do it again in a hurry and that's the outcome you want. Pls report back too!

you can get really cheap CCTV systems you know.. and it would be quite fun..

Sadly I returned home to find the sea bass had been thoughtlessly disposed by clueless DP. I am tempted to post poo, although I would worry that a) the culprit might smear the poo everywhere as a form of retribution, or b) that the person opening the parcels might be a child.

I'm not really sure about the logistics of CCTV as the communal area is a small corridor on the ground floor, and I'm on the third floor. I've seen fake ones though, which teamed with some sort of highly visible sign might act as a deterrent?

How about rigging an envelope with a really loud rape alarm type thingy? So when they opened the box it scared the living shite out of them? You could tell the neighbours you like/trust what you are doing, so when it goes off you can catch the thief in the act. Or at the very least put them off doing it again. Maybe a combination of an alarm and dye?

Have any of you see the website about the man who stole a MacBook? The owner had a program on it so that he could take pictures of the thief (imagine how bad that was on a laptop). I would link but I think his website is down. Here is a link to the news article about it. If you have a spare MacBook, you could do that.