to be annoyed that I am "difficult", my partner is "laid back and lovely" and yet I am the one to be sorting out this latest shit he's got us into.

[CRS]

And breathe.

Sooo... CRS has a partner who, from her description, has positive points. He also has negative points such as he would prefer her to deal with confrontation with his Mum's friend/car dealer and, by CRS's own admission, she won't find it difficult.

Calling her a 'full time victim' is OTT. We women are rarely perfect, why should men be able to do everything/deal with every situation.

Feck knows why I am defending him, but he's just so lovely

If the car really 'blew up' it's fucked anyway

I did not call OP A full-time victim. I called her his full-time victim. Thing is He repeatedly messes up. In order to sort out his* mess, the OP ends up being the "Bad-guy" or paying.

Therefore, things do get sorted out, but only at the expense of the OP's time, purse and/or reputation. If they don't get sorted out, the OP pays the price in one way or another. She is his victim, she is not a victim.

maybe he tries but its never good enough, and OP storms in and takes over, so he has given up trying

she does sound a bit like a control freak tbh and we have only heard one side, as usual

My XH used to do stuff like this. Left him when eventually I realised I'd become his mother. However, he wasn't funny, charming and gorgeous like your fellas. He was lazy, feckless and weak as piss, quite frankly. And all XMIL's fault. She basically wiped his arse for him til he was 30, thus rendering him useless to any other woman!

For easy going, I read lazy every time. It's easy to be nice and relaxed when you shrik responsibility. Co-dependant relationship - as many are. If you stopped taking over you would have to face the true facts of relationship. YABU to be annoyed and not do anything about it. Agree with Dione

Shrik

I can´t imagine being so desperate to be liked that I can´t talk to someone else´s friend for fear that they might not like me.

Sounds very childish.

The car blew up after 8wks-there´s not much needs saying is there?

OP - I can lend you my DH who is the world's best complainer and result-getter.

And then he comes home and cooks all the meals.:)