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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have put their washing up on the balcony?

57 replies

abowlofwashingup · 20/06/2011 21:07

Right.

Long story short.

I am a mature university student with one DD (12yrs).

I live with a group of people a similar age to me (late 20s). It is a houseshare. It's not a sharey, sharey houseshare. We all cook for ourselves, not each other, we don't buy food and share it. It's basically a house we all rent rooms in.

Two of the others (a couple) are very, very messy. They don't clean up after themselves. They leave washing up all over the kitchen and after they've cooked and eaten they don't wipe surfaces so it is actually impossible to use the kitchen for a day or two after they've cooked, unless you clean up for them. If you point out the mess and the fact that they've rendered the kitchen out of order for others, or are forcing other to clear up the mess they tell you they've been working hard at work and need a rest.

Anyhow, I digress.

I always take care of mine and DD's kitchen mess as soon as we've eaten (if it's a quick meal often wash pans before I sit down). This couple went on holiday and the night before they went they cooked a huge 3 course meal then left their shit all over the kitchen and went on holiday.

All of the other housemates were away - they knew they were leaving their mess for me and my DD to clear up. Even though they have never once had to clear up after us.

Instead of getting cross/resen tful/pissed off about it, I just calmly took it all out on the balcony and left if there for them to sort out when they got back.

When they got back, they hit the roof. What it boils down to, is that they excpected me to wash it all for them. They think I am making a point just to be petty.

What would you have done?

OP posts:

BaldricksTurnip · 20/06/2011 21:20

My mum did exactly this to a couple we shared a house with when I was a toddler, except she put all the dirty washing up in a cardboard box and left it in their room! YADNBU!! Dirty sods, they should pull their weight just like everybody else

PrinceHumperdink · 20/06/2011 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BerryMojito · 20/06/2011 21:21

I'd have put it in their bed! You can only behave like that when you have your own house . . .

PlanetEarth · 20/06/2011 21:24

I'd have done the same. Why on earth did they think you'd clear up after them?

inkyfingers · 20/06/2011 21:25

Have they actually said to you 'Yes, we expected you to do our washing up?

Original poster

abowlofwashingup · 20/06/2011 21:29

Inkyfingers - pretty much, yes. The girl in the couple said "well I did loads of washing up a few days before I went away, so I didn't think you would mind doing mine."

And I said "but was it my or my DDs washing up" and she said no. And I said "have I EVER left you my or my DDs washing up? Have you ever washed up ANYTHING of mine of my DDs?" and she said no. And then I said, "why would you think it's ok for ME to do YOUR washing up then?"

It's not just that it was left - if they had texted me or left a note "really sorry, running late, no time to do washing up, would you mind..." I would have got on with it.

But their argument was that they washed up someone else's (not mine or DDs) soup bowl so I should clean up after their 3 course meal

OP posts:

cees · 20/06/2011 21:38

The dirty lazy feckers, you were dead right not to clean up there mess. They sound so childish, remind them you are not there mother.

inkyfingers · 20/06/2011 21:39

is it likely you could move out?

Original poster

abowlofwashingup · 20/06/2011 21:41

We are moving out in two months!!! Hurrah!!

But I needed to check/rant because I found their anger and sense of being right so strong I started to wonder if I was in a parallel universe or something.

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 20/06/2011 21:44

he shouted at you? i would be having words with the landlord about his threatening behaviour...

BlueCat2010 · 20/06/2011 21:45

I would inform them of your charges for washing up for them!

PrinceHumperdink · 20/06/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 20/06/2011 21:55

I applaud you.

takethisonehereforastart · 20/06/2011 21:58

Can you complain to your landlord about them? Leaving dirty things about is not only inconsiderate to the rest of you but its a risk for attracting vermin and insects etc.

And YANBU at all in any way.

ENormaSnob · 20/06/2011 22:02

Yanbu

AbigailS · 20/06/2011 22:06

I remember dumping my house shares washing up in the bath, just when I knew they were going to have a bath to get ready to go out for the night when I was so pissed off with them always abandoning it all over the kitchen! I think leaving it on the balcony was pretty tame, so YANBU at all.

electra · 20/06/2011 22:07

Living with other people sucks, it really does. I hated my student living arrangements. And I do think they bring out the worst in people. Somehow when people have their own homes they don't seem to behave this way as much....

I don't blame you op. Putting washing in someone's bed is beyond spiteful though and that is worse than a messy person imo!!

sarahtigh · 20/06/2011 22:10

shared at uni with a girl like that there were 5 of us and 2 veggies, it was hall of residence but she never ever washed up left all the bacon fat etrc in the pans so everyone had to wash up before they could eat once when she went away for weekend we put all her dirty disheas in her bed when she came back never said a word just moved all the dirty dishes back in kitchen and left them unwashed for another 2 days
some folks simply can not see how what they do affects others they dont mind mess so you shouldn't... and that's speakingg as someone who is really not that tidy but shared spaces must be dealt with fairly if their own rooms a mess wellso be it but totally unfair best of luck in new house

fatlazymummy · 20/06/2011 22:13

You're not being unreasonable at all. Some people seem to have a massive sense of entitlement. It's really surprising though when these people are in their late 20's. I agree about reporting this guy to the landlord for shouting in your face. That's not a good atmosphere for your daughter to live in.

bibbitybobbityhat · 20/06/2011 22:14

Yanbu. My housemate was going away for a long weekend to France with one of her mates. They cooked a meal, left the pots and pans unwashed in the kitchen and left their plates and cutlery on the living room floor - we didn't have a dining table, so they would have eaten on their knees.

I put the lot in the washing up bowl and took it upstairs and left it on her bed.

Her excuse was they left in a hurry cos they suddenly realised they might miss the ferry! But she got my point and is still one of my best friends more than 20 years later.

YellowDinosaur · 20/06/2011 22:14

YANBU at all.

The only thing I would have done differently is put it in their room.

In my early 20s I shared a flat with another girl and a bloke the same age. We had a tiny kitchen. The bloke was forever coming in and making massive curries and leaving the lot. We decided to ignore it but after a week there were no clean plates and we were fed up. So we nicked his playstation cable and said he couldn't have it back until he did the washing up.

He had a big strop about it but then did the washing up and apologised. It didn't happen again!

BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 22:19

YANBU, do they really think because they are on holiday you should wash up for them? Because obviously with a dd you have loads of time on your hands and just itching for something to do.

MsInterpret · 20/06/2011 22:19

YADNBU!

M0naLisa · 20/06/2011 22:23

i would have done the exact same you not their skivvy.

sue30 · 20/06/2011 22:26

Same here in a shared flat with two friends. One of them left chicken out to defrost and i went away on a holiday for a week and the chicken was still there on the kitchen counter when i came back. I opened up the kitchen door and threw up all over the floor in the hall so two messes to tidy up :(. They were bags of rubbish to be taken out that had burst and maggots had escaped and the whole flat was reeking of smoke.Someone had been in my bed and spilled drink on my cd player and nail varnish on my carpet. We only had two weeks till the end of our lease but me and the other clean girl put up with it but she left with a week to go but only packed up her clothes shoes etc.. When we were clearing her room we found her passport bank cards birth cert etc. We posted them back to her mum an never heard from her again!

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