to be stressing about the combination of glastonbury and bladder weakness and ask if anyone has any ideas?

[weespirit]

Namechanger (you see what I did there, free spirit...). I swear this is not a windup and the bravado and clenched-teeth jokes below actually mask genuine dread which is casting a serious pall.

Okay, SO. DH and I are going to Glastonbury. I've not been since 2007 when I was pregnant with DC3 and had the most miserable time ever. Spent a lot of time crying in the mud. Swore never again but DH has been to almost every one and the ILs offered to babysit and it sounded like a great idea back whenever we got tickets. Drinking cider and kissing in the sunshine, dancing the night away, enjoying each other's company. Lovely.

Of course it's going to be anothermudfest but that's okay, I have special wellies this time. And it won't be as awful as the trench warfare of last time. BUT.

After 3 DCs in 5 years and despite religious kegels I just don't have great bladder control. Time was when I could pee standing up no probs but I tend to spray now. And the weather won't be conducive to easily hitched-up skirts; I'll be in jeans etc. I have to confess that back in 07 I did pee just stand and piss a couple of times but I was wearing huge mumus which hid everything and was pregnant which was a good defense. And the thick coating of mud masked it. But I did get wee in my wellies.

I have bought a shewee and been practicing but I dribble everywhere - this is a new issue too. I can't seem to control the flow like I used to.

Although 2007 was horrible, my bump did get me into the disabled toilets - no such luck this time. And TBH I'm just not up for the whole thing in the way I used to be. I remember pissing in hedges (and probably down myself), no shame, casual, but I'm an old lady who has some shame now.

I don't want to be spending all my time queuing for loos (which are disgusting anyway), but I wondered if anyone had any ideas? DH is a right free-spirit festival type who has this rose-tinted image of me as being a wafty tie-dyed fairy princess and I'm just not sure what to do!

I have thought of:

-practising more with the shewee (will do)
-not drinking very much (silly, dehydration not cool and cannot go a whole day without peeing)
-getting so blind drunk I don't care (would probably backfire, ho ho)
-packing loads of pairs of trousers so if I do wet myself while struggling with the shewee or waiting in nine-hour longdrop queues I can at least get changed.
-taking illegal drugs (you see my desperation - will not be trying this!).

Can ANYONE think of ANYTHING else I could try?

Wear long skirts and pee in your finished pint glass.

Or in this

www.virtualvillage.co.uk/portable-urinal-toilet-for-travel-and-festivals-009605-001.html

If you to want to consider adult pull ups, Lidl have a pack of 28 own brand ones for £9.99.

www.shewee.com/newstore/

the only sulation :) have a great time, wish i was going

Just as an addition to all the advice - always have a go in the long drops where the railway track meets the Green Fields entrance. Being open air I always find them the cleanest as rain keeps them clean so you can sit down.

Another vote for the Travel John and some antibac handwash from me. Took some festival camping while pregnant and were fantastic. Pee in the bag and a chemical turns it solid so no mess, no smell. If shameless like me and prodigious of pee in pregnancy, can use a couple of times. Especially good for not having to leave tent first or last thing.

In fact I liked them so much I have a stash in the car for an emergency. Haven't had one yet, but I will be prepared!

Absolutely recommend the long drops, there aren't any queues.

Hello! I've been on site today and it is not TOO mashed up yet .
Best thing is to get one of the maps and familiarise yourself with the big blocks of toilets ready for emergency dashes.
As it's not going to be as scorching as last year, dehydration won't be so much of an issue so don't go mad with the water.
And drink wine and spirits/mixers not pints of Brothers cider (that way madness lies, and not just wee-related)

So jealous that you are going - this is the first time in 12 years that I haven't been able to get tickets harrumph.

How about a big camo poncho e.g
www.surplusandoutdoors.com/shop/outdoor-clothing/waterproof-clothing/genuine-british-issue-army-58-234789.html (which will come in very handy anyway with this rain) and then just a normal potty - you can squat down concealed by the poncho and then discreetly tip away contents.

Also, try drinking red wine instead of pints. This is usually my tactic.

It wont help what I'm about to say but I'll tell anyway...in 2005, while watching Keane, they were singing bedshape, I think...I was bursting for a wee, really bursting and I also was in the middle of a crowd...I told myself fuck and I weed on myself, yep I did it ! But hey that's the Glastonbury spirit no ?????

Don't worry about jeans, you'll get cold and wet in them anyway. Skirt, thin leggings, and tights. Layers will keep you warm, thinner when you need to dry them in the tent, and you COULD try cutting a hole in the gusset of tights/leggings (wear a big pair of black pants over the whole shebang if you're worried about flashing) and then all you have to do is pull knickers to one side and SheWee away!

I'm going, and I confidently expect to be peeing in the 'hallway' of my tent with frightening regularity.