Convinced I might be infertile, grumpy, envious, need someone to give me a slap and talk some sense into me please.

[madonnawhore]

Been with my BF for nearly nine months now. Everything very nice and lovely, he has a DD so we've been taking things at a nice pace - no big declarations or talking about moving in together yet or anything like that. But things are good.

The thing is, I know in my heart that I love him a lot and would love to have a baby with him. But because of the pace we are moving at (because his DD has to be taken into account) - (BTW, he told me early in our relationship that he does want more kids in the future), we are not at the point where I could tell him something like that. These things are about timing, right? And the timing would be all wrong for me to talk about having his baby when we haven't even ever discussed living together.

But that doesn't stop me wishing that I would accidentally get pregnant. I know that is mad, but my clock has gone off big time and I do feel a little crazy about it all. I would never deliberately 'trap' him, so I daydream that maybe I will be one of those women who gets pregnant even when she thinks she's being careful.

I've just been reading another person's thread about how she is now pregnant after taking antibiotics while on the pill. It's a tricky situation for that poster and obviously I sympathise, but a little bit of me is envious. I've had to have a couple of courses of antibiotics since meeting my BF - ear infection and whatnot - and during those times we were really slack with using additional protection and NOTHING HAPPENED!

I feel jealous. And also I am worried that I have NEVER had a pregnancy scare. Not one single time. Even though I have been a bit careless with contraception in the past, I never once suspected I might be pregnant. I have never even bought a pregnancy test and I am 31.

Do you think that might mean I'm infertile? I read so many threads on these boards about women who have gotten pregnant while on the pill. I even read a thread the other day where one poster said she got pregnant after a condom broke and her and her DH stopped straight away, he did't ejaculate, but she STILL got pregnant!

So unfair. Please can someone tell me it's madness to want to get pregnant by a man I don't even live with; that if/when the time is right it will happen; that it's unlikely I'm infertile; etc...?

Please? Every time I read a thread that someone's pregnant my heart sinks a little bit.

hi thought i would pop over and say, dont wish this time away op. i have been with my bf 9 months as well and in that time we have been jetting off for weekends away and really enjoying each other once the baby come that will effectively be over so enjoy each other have fun building a solid relationship. i really doubt you are infertile.

We were pretty lax and never conceived. However when we started trying to conceive it was month 1 with DD and month 2 with next DC which is due in October.

The thing is that the chances of you being "lax" or on antiobiots at just the right couple of days is pretty small, set against the determination and obsessiveness of the average TTCing woman, who is hell bent on sperm meeting egg and probably has worked out on Fertility Friend to the hour when she will ovulate! I know that's how I was.

As soon as we were actively TTC I was on the OPKs and all the rest of it. I was surprised to find that all those "lax" times when I thought I'd had a lucky "near miss" on day 14 or so, I probably hadn't, because actually it turns out I don't ovulate till day 20 or so.

As with some other posters, DH and i used the withdrawal method for 3 years and didn't have any scares, but conceived first month trying with DS1 and 2.

I had the same worries as you, but they clearly weren't justified. Try to enjoy your relationship, if it happens it happens, but best to wait and speak to BF about it

You're bonkers .

But in a good way! You've met a man you're madly in love with, things are going well, you've seen him being a father and you like what you see, your body clock is kicking in... it is entirely explainable!

But that doesn't mean it's a good idea to act on it! He is clearly a responsible dad if he's taking things slowly for his DD, and if he has mentioned that he would like children one day then I'd take that as a pretty heavy hint that it's crossed his mind he'd like them with you one day.

Personally I'm a big believer in saying what you feel rather than playing by the 'rules', and I think you can say to him 'Look, I could see this relationship going somewhere and I'd really like kids of my own in the relatively near future,' because you're both adults and frankly I htink it's important you both know where you stand. BUT I think it's something you talk about ONCE, ideally with him doing as much talking as you, then you move on and carry on enjoying your lovely relationship.

For god's sake whatever you do don't be deliberately-on-purpose 'lax' in the hope that you might get pregnant or the expectation you won't! It's not fair on him, his DD, or any future child. If it's right for the two of you, you can make the decision to start trying together in future. And when you start trying, try and stay sane about it for at least 9 months to a year before declaring yourself infertile - it's hard to do, but for the vast majority of us, it really is the truth!

You say you want to have his kids, but you don't want to bring the topic of TTC up yet as you're a coward and the time isn't right??!

In that case it is def time to put the brakes on the crazy train of your broody-mind and wait.

Enjoy your relationship, and all that is part of this early stage and worry about babies in another year or so, as other posters have said.

RELAX!