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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to run away

43 replies

CanTakeNoMore · 17/06/2011 19:08

I am so miserable. I can't do it, I'm a shit mum, my children will be fucked up just like me.

If I could I'd go. They'd be better off without me.

OP posts:

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitty4paws · 17/06/2011 22:38

OP, long time lurker here, just adding my voice, we are all here for you,

Original poster

CanTakeNoMore · 17/06/2011 22:39

I'm waiting to see a counsellor. I've been on the pills for about 8 months, I will call Dr in Monday to Chase it up.

Thank you all for being so amazingly supportive.

I am hoping I will snap out if it, but I'm so scared.

OP posts:

Empusa · 17/06/2011 22:41

Please do call the doctor, if it's any help, I shall be doing exactly the same thing. You definitely aren't alone!

But I promise you, it will pass. It always does! It's like a cloud over the sun, it's not permanent.

tootooposh · 17/06/2011 22:47

Are the children in bed? Can you get some rest now and see if it all feels a little less dark in the morning?

I am thinking of you. I second calling the Samaritans if you feel suicidal, and sharing with your DH if you possibly can, or any other RL friend who would be supportive. You are not crap: you are tired and miserable and yet still concerned about others. None of us is perfect but our DC still love us and rely on us to be there for them.

I wish you a good night's sleep. Take care of yourself. Xx

FingandJeffing · 17/06/2011 22:52

Definitely think about calling the samaritans. They are always there to lend a listening ear, they don't judge or preach. No matter how down you feel your kids will always want you, you are their mum. You sound rather caring and nice BTW.

Onemorning · 17/06/2011 22:56

OP, please hang in there. Like Empusa said, it will pass.

Please do speak to someone if you're able to - the Samaritans, your DH or friends. Perhaps an emergency doctor or NHS direct?

You're not a bad person, you sound like someone who cares a lot about your DCs and your DH. Please look after yourself, you are so worth looking after.

I hope you are able to get some rest tonight, and start to feel better soon.

Take care xxx

TheDogsAintTheProblem · 17/06/2011 23:00

You walked out because you are scared and suffering, NOT because you're a cunt. You're not lovey, please believe me.

YOU CAME BACK BECAUSE YOU CARE AND ARE A GOOD PERSON.

Sometimes that's all you need to do on the spot. Just to walk away, get a few moments breathing space before you go back. Many, if not most, mums get that break via help from family/nursery/nights out while DH cares for the children. Not all of us have that and not all of us get that when we need it the most.

I'm no expert, I'll leave advice to those far better qualified to give it than me. All I can do is PROMISE you that you aren't all the bad things you think you are, caring mums don't question their actions and they don't come back.

Punkatheart · 17/06/2011 23:02

Don't be scared. All of us are here....sleep well...

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/06/2011 23:06

Please consider ringing the Samaritans, you don't even need to give your name.

Here is their phone number
08457 90 90 90.

FabbyChic · 17/06/2011 23:07

Hey you are suffering from depression, really bad depression and the doctor can help you, make an urgent appointment tell him how you are feeling about your life and your family, and what it feels like when you feel like you are failing.

He will help.

Keep talking that is what you need to do.

You aren't useless, or a failure, you are going through bad times and need help.

Empusa · 17/06/2011 23:11

Btw, if you can't face speaking to someone on the phone, Samaritans have an email service. Takes a little longer to get a reply, but they are really good.

pyjamababe · 17/06/2011 23:24

It's ok to feel scared, keep fighting it and keep talking, there is plenty of help available before Monday if you need it. You sound very brave to me. Be strong, take all the help you can get and this will pass.

somethingwillturnup · 18/06/2011 00:46

Love me when I deserve it the least, because that is when I need it the most............

I have been there. It will pass. Phone the Samaritans. If you need to, pm me.

perfumedlife · 18/06/2011 01:05

Hang in there op. x

Siobhan487 · 18/06/2011 07:38

How are you this morning OP?

kitty4paws · 18/06/2011 12:59

OP, hoping that things are a bit easier for you today. If you still feel low please don't wait untill monday for your GP get help today.

FebreezeYourJeans · 18/06/2011 14:23

OP, hoping you got some sleep! Don't be so damn hard on yourself, you are a good mum and a good person having a bad time. I could weep for the months when I felt lost to my children, but they don't remember it now and I'm well so not the person I was then.

This too shall pass, and we are all here, your personal; hand holding, safety net toting, good listening, cheering squad.

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