to have a phobia of driving and wonder if it can be cured?

[LastTrainHome]

I'm new here, this is my first post. I've spent a little time reading the forums and can see I'm likely to get more replies here - be kind!

Im currently learning to drive and really struggling with the levels of anxiety I feel building up to lessons. During a typical lesson I shake, sweat, get pins and needles and dizziness and sometimes a sense of unreality, my heart thumps and I get butterflies in my stomach. Afterwards I can hardly get out of the car, my legs are like jelly! I've never suffered from panic attacks before, but I'm guessing the above symptoms may be similar to a mild one?

I'm told I'm a very good driver, but I know the fear I feel hinders my progress so much, I make stupid mistakes and honestly wouldn't consider driving in this state even if I do (somehow!) manage to pass my test. I simply wouldn't wish to put anyone at risk. My problem is that I'm under quite a lot of pressure to pass my test, from my DH, for work, plus I have two small DC's and would love to be able to take them out and give them the days out and adventures they deserve.

I know that my vehophobia (?) stems from having an awful instructor when I was much younger. He was a complete pervert who always had his hand on my thigh, making suggestive comments etc and I was to young and stupid to ever stand up to him/report him for his behaviour. I just kept going to lessons and taking the abuse until I was in too much of a state to function! These days I'm older and wiser and certainly wouldn't take the same kind of crap from anyone, but I'm afraid it's stayed with me, despite having a lovely, understanding female instructor - I still feel the same level of panic that I used to. It's totally irrational, yet out of my control.

I've started to think that some kind of therapy and/or medication might help me deal with the anxiety, I've done a little research and booked an appointment with my GP for next week. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience, doesn't have to be related to driving - panic attacks, anxiety, phobias etc that you've been treated for and if you've managed to overcome it? Particularly interested in medication (I have this romantic vision that I'll be able to pop a little magic pill before a lesson and it will make all the nasty fear go away.... I know, I know!)

Sorry for the essay... AIBU to ask about your experiences here?

Can you get Beta Lockers if you're just shite at driving because you have a child with SN who hasn't skepticism through the night in four years? Would they help I wonder. I have my first test in a month.

NLP is short for Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP and is the practice of understanding how people organise their thinking, feeling, language and behaviour to produce the results they do. By changing the way we think about something it changes the way we feel.

EFT is bloody amazing! It's based on similar principles to Acupuncture but you tap on the points instead of using needles. Sounds mad but it's unbelievably fast and effective and it works on even physical stuff too.

Sorry for typos bloody phone!

Fuck you autocorrect. Skepticism instead of sleep. Really, HTC?

yes I had a phobia, and took about a year's worth of lessons, then finally passed in October. Very many of my lessons were as you describe, the panic attacks, tears, shaking, jelly legs afterwards, etc etc.

I had a female instructor, which helped, and she was patient with my tears - despite my best efforts, they appeared on the very first lesson before I even sat in the driver's seat, so she had to be! She learned to predict when the attacks were coming, from my breathing and behaviour, and we worked out together what was the most helpful thing to do - generally to just talk me through driving from the most basic steps, no matter how good I was normally, as I could follow simple instructions, to get me out of the situation - and then to just carry on afterwards. That meant that I didn't get too humiliated or hung up on trying to avoid the panic attacks, which was part of what the phobia was about.

Also she learned ways of teaching me that avoided the biggest triggers, which were having to make decisions when I wasn't confident. Normally she'd have left people longer without intervening, knowing that if they made a mistake - not being in the right gear or whatever - that it would be ok, and they'd learn from the fact that they stalled or whatever. But with me, that would set me into a panic, so she'd not let me make mistakes for a much much longer time. Of course it took longer to get me to the independent stage of driving, but it meant that I did at least learn something, instead of having more and more lessons written off by having a panic attack early on that ruined the rest of it for me.

I also took beta blockers at times. And made sure that I had nothing after the lesson for the first while. In fact, nothing for the whole day after the first few, as I was utterly wiped out!!

I developed a phobia of driving after having DD a year ago which came to a head 3 months ago and I had to seek treatment. My phobia was trigged by a mixture of PND, lack of sleep and an increased awareness of how dangerous driving potentially is now I had DD in the car.

I have been taking Citalopram (an antidepressant) and have also just completed a course of CBT which has helped immensely and I although I still have a way to go I am back in the car and am able to tackle more and more driving situations I had previously avoided such as driving to an unknown place or driving during rush hour.

There is not necessarily a long waiting list for CBT, I was seen within 1 week of first going to my doctor for a referral. I don't have experience of NLP but it seems similar to CBT as CBT also works by encouraging you to see how what you think affects how you feel and helps you to recognise and overcome unhelpful thoughts and actions.

Prior to this round of anxiety I suffered panic attacks about 10 years ago and was prescribed beta-blockers but I didn't find these helpful. I think the best thing you can do is go and have a chat with your GP and see what they suggest. It will get better though and I say this as someone who was ready to rip up her licence just a few months ago.

Oh thank god I'm not alone. Well I'm a bit different no problems learning didn't enjoy it but coped ok and passed first time good luck more than anything.

I hate driving and have done for 12 years. Use the car for work, school run, food shopping and local town and that is it. Don't park anywhere busy and can't remember the last time I went on the motorway.
Any passengers I have always tell me I drive fine and they feel safe I just don't like it.
I would say stick with it because even though I hate it I do need it. I think trying for automatic would be a great idea and I think I'll buy automatic next time.
So nice to hear I'm not alone and can now tell my husband I'm not a nutter.
Good luck to you.

Just spoke to my DH about the automatic idea, The whole having one less thing to worry about, no worry of the stalling and looking like a prat or playing the clutch at junctions etc. Hes going to get me one, im booking my theory TONIGHT. I havent even left the house without him for the best part of three years for anything other than the school run, (major ishhoooos) but this thread has somehow felt a kick up the arse....thankyou :)

Hi everyone,

Just a little update, thank you SO SO much for your comments, I've read every single one over and over and you wouldn't believe how much they help :)

I went to see my GP two weeks ago and had a full mental health evaluation, my results were that I suffer from moderate anxiety (no surprise there then!) but it also revealed that I'm suffering from mild depression, which I wasn't expecting. Apart from getting myself into a state over lessons I'm actually really happy, I guess the whole thing has been affecting me more than I thought!

I'm being referred for some therapy, although at this stage I'm unsure what type, unfortunately there's a long waiting list in my area so it'll be a while before I get any info through the post. I've also been prescribed beta blockers (Propranolol) take take as and when I begin to feel anxious. I haven't taken any yet as I cancelled my driving lessons the same day with the intention of finding an instructor to teach automatic lessons, so can't say how effective they are yet, we will see!

The good news is, I managed to find an instructor (who sounded very lovely over the phone :) ) and am having my first automatic lesson tomorrow at 2pm - eeeeeeeeeek!!!! I'm actually feeling very positive about it at the moment, tomorrow may be a different story but for now, no feelings of panic! Also, my lovely DH - who has been the (excuse the pun) driving force behind my learning (got to say, I've hated him for it at times) has shown his support for the switch to automatic driving by buying us a new car, it's a Renault Espace so a bit daunting (huge!!) but it will be good for the ever expanding family so....... I keep looking at it parked outside and thinking maybe I can do this???!

One thing I've realised over the past few days, is that my last instructor probably wasn't that great for me - I seem to really pick them :( so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for third time lucky. She was lovely, kind, funny, but seemed to have be really preoccupied with death - and all the different ways that I could potentially kill people while out on the road!! True maybe, helpful? No. The last lesson I had with her, (after which I almost couldn't walk, fighting back tears, feeling dizzy etc) she berated me for slowing down when approaching a cyclist in front, swerving all over the road. According to her I should have kept my speed and driven wide around him, slowing down was encouraging drivers behind to overtake, one of whom could knock him over, maim him, kill him.... his children left without a father etc etc... she went on and on!! Just don't think this type of teaching was constructive. So, so far I've been taught by Pervy McPerverson and the Prophet of Doom, please please please let this next one be 'normal'?!

Sending tons of luck to those in a similar situation to me, thanks again to all those offering advice and empathy, wish me luck for tomorrow - Ill let you know how it goes :)

hiya, I have a phobia (nothing to do with driving) and am awaiting NHS CBT. What I will say is in my area (not sure if all) I had to fill in an anxiety questionnaire and have a phone consultation to decide what the NHS would offer me. As it goes, it seems I'm a nutcase quite bad apparently so I get face to face CBT sessions, but, it seems most people only get telephone support/group sessions. Thought you might find this useful/interesting so you know you have to shout loudly to get the therapy IYKWIM.