To think my friend should complain about this MW?

[StrawberryMewMew]

Or am I BU?

Basically, my best friend is 39 weeks pg. She's classed as high risk as she has suffered very high blood pressure before and during her pg and has been having to see a MW every week. She's also very, very anemic and has been having iron injections every couple of days.

The second last time she went for her injections she had her MW appt beforehand, at this her consultant told her that she must keep coming to the antenatal appts even though she is being seen when having the injections. After this her MW told her not to come to ante natal as she was being seen when having the injections. She told her that she was told to keep going to the appts she was given. MW wasn't happy about this.

So yesterday she went for her injections then went over to Day care for her usual appt. MW challenged her when she got there and told her she didn't need to be there, my friend told her the consultant told her to keep going so she was going to do that. Then the MW literally started shouting in her face that she didn't need to be there!

AIBU to think that she shouldn't have been treated like this?

Your friend needs to get in touch with the supervisor of midwives at the hospital this MW is employed at, and also with PALS and lodge a formal complaint.

I'd also recommend she contact AIMS.

Completely unacceptable.

Thanks, I have really posted this to get opinions to show my friend. She's very quiet and doesn't want to bother them by complaining.

YA so NBU

This concerns the health and safety of both herself and her unborn child. Your friend needs to complain to ensure this.

The midwife shouted "in her face" really??

It worries me, especially if she was the type of person to get very upset.

iMemoo, yes in her face. She and her Sister went home shocked that the MW had done this.

YANBU. I am 38 wks pregnant and in a similar position with high BP and lots of appointments at different places (community MW, consultant, day assessment unit and GP). I haven't experienced the same problem as your friend but have been given really different messages from midwives, consultants, sonographers - there definitely seem to be some politics going on sometimes! It's so annoying when they have a go at you when all you are doing is what you have been told by someone else! I would have asked the MW to contact the Consultant so they could sort it out amongst themselves and give a clear message but I also think a complant wouldn't be a bad thing. I found it was really easy to email in a formal complaint via the hospital website and got a really prompt response - I asked that they didn't respond to me by phone because of being at the end of pregnancy so they have written a letter back. If it might stop someone else experiencing the same thing then it is worth it. Not the kind of thing you need with high blood pressure!

YANBU, she should complain.

Perrinelli If you can respond via the website then she may not feel like she is complaining as much.

I see how down she gets sometimes with everything going on so I have complete sympathy for you. I hope the rest of the time goes a bit easier for you.:)

Yes that's how I felt and I sought reassurance from the person that came back to me that the clinicians involved in my care wouldn't be aware of the complaint at this point (though mine didn't involve specific people - but at least she could ask for the MW not to be made aware for a few weeks as you don't want to be worrying that they'll treat you differently if they know you've complained).

All the best to your friend as well - at least we're on the home straight now! The worst thing for me has been the medication they've given for blood pressure, I hope she hasn't had to go on any especially methyldopa as I find it can make you feel more down and generally crap. I've finally succeeded in getting a dr to listen to me about how it has made me feel and changed to a different one but regret not stating more clearly the issues with side effects in my first pregnancy when I had it.

I think her BP has came down a bit now, not sure but I think she's on Asprin? At least you don't have long left now. :)

I think the iron injections are meant to be quite painful though.

Thank you for your advice, hopefully she will be convinced to complain now. :)

If she doesn't feel able to complain in the ways she suggested she can ask for another mw without giving reasons, by contacting the supervisor of midwives.
Another thing I'd suggest is that she contacts the consultant's secretary to ask that the consultant contact the MW to make explicit his plan to ensure her welfare for the rest of her pregnancy. She can't argue if she's heard it direct.

She went back today and they were confused at why she hadn't been seen and said they should still have checked her.

I've just sent her the link to this thread.

Absolutely she should complain!! That is utterly disgusting behaviour and hugely unprofessional. Terrible for anyone but for a woman who is heavily preg and with high blood pressure??!!

I would have shouted back, but thats my personality. Very unfair and she should complain!

Hope she is not feeling too down about it.

She's just told me she doesn't really want to complain as she only has a couple of weeks left.

And LDN, she said had she went on for any longer she would have shouted, I think she was already feeling pretty down before this happened. :(

I had a MW screaming in my face while I was trying to get dd to latch on (had a lot of difficulty). I regret not complaining.

What I don't understand is why these woman become MW's when they are clearly lacking in empathy and compassion.

I used to work in midwifery, and so many of them were lovely, lovely women. But also a few real bullies. One of my favourite 'bored in meeting' games was to idly list who I would want with me in childbirth and who i would crawl over broken glass to get away from.