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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be wary of seeing nephew tomorrow

17 replies

SusiaX · 15/06/2011 21:58

He has chicken pox. He only has a few spots but they came out a couple of days ago. My DCs are 2.4 and 7 months and I know they need to get it sometime but DD has her pre-school taster day in three weeks and I don't really want her to miss it.

As a bit of background, my BIL and SIL live abroad so we only get to see them about four times a year therefore, when they come over, we try and do as much as we can with them. I feel like I'm being the bad guy if I say I want to wait a couple of days until the spots are scabbed over. (I was also the bad guy at Christmas when I said I didn't want to stay over at PILs as we would normally do, because I had a month old baby and wanted to sleep at home.)

I don't want to spoil a family day out and part of me thinks it's not the end of the world if they catch it anyway so why worry but, the other part of me doesn't want to knowingly expose them Confused.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 15/06/2011 22:01

I wouldn't knowingly expose my children to chicken pox

You aren't being the bad guy

Ingles2 · 15/06/2011 22:04

no don't do it... wait until the spots are scabbed over. 7 months is tiny to get the pox and it can be a horrible disease with complications.. It's just not worth it for the sake of not upsetting the family.

KangarooCaught · 15/06/2011 22:06

Just say you'll see them once the spots have scabbed over and be firm. There is never a good time to get chicken pox ime and once at preschool she'll get exposed anyway and you'll look at every spot with suspicion!

AurraSing · 15/06/2011 22:06

I wouldn't expose any of my DC to CP either, certainly not a 7 mth old.

See them in a week or so.

pickgo · 15/06/2011 22:07

My DS got chickenpox at 15 mths and it was no big deal - dr said they don't get it properly when very young. Got it again at 7 had 2 weeks off and had 242 spots (we counted them - that was a great day!)

SusiaX · 15/06/2011 22:11

Phew, I thought I might be being a bit precious about it. Thing is they're only here for five days.

I think they're being a bit irresponsible anyway as they've already been on a plane today and we are meant to be going to a big shopping centre tomorrow. They seem to be more relaxed about chicken pox where they live ? they all still go to school/nursery when they've got it and I seem to be the only one who has a problem with it!

OP posts:
NeverEvenHeardOfAgentZigzag · 15/06/2011 22:11

You see your SIL more that I do and mine just lives an hour or so away Grin

Who's it making you feel like the baddie?

I'm sure they'll take the lead and suggest they won't see you until he's started to clear up, or at least give you a choice by asking if you mind.

And if they don't, they should.

Nanny0gg · 15/06/2011 22:11

Dr doesn't know what he's talking about.
Friend' DS had CP at 7 months and you couldn't put a pin between the spots. I've never seen anything like it. He was as miserable as sin, poor little boy.
Not worth the risk.

DogsBestFriend · 15/06/2011 22:12

I'd be concerned about a baby getting CP although i think I'd welcome it IYSWIM in an older infant. My two got it at about 7 and 8 years old and were barely bothered by it - they caught it from me. I was fresh out of cancer surgery and it knocked me sideways, I was terrinly ill, as I understand is often the case for adults. I'd much rather young children caught it than they experienced it as adults, going on my own case. However, as I said, a baby is a different matter and I wouldn't knowingly take mine near a CP sufferer.

NeverEvenHeardOfAgentZigzag · 15/06/2011 22:23

X-posts with you susia.

If that's the case I wouldn't give a rats arse if I was seen as the baddie by anyone who cared to think of me in that way, if the alternative was a risk to my baby.

You're hardly going to put social niceties above your babys health are you?

What does your DH reckon about it all?

Imnotaslimjim · 15/06/2011 22:26

I wouldn't do it either. Ds breezed through them, but poor DD (who is 2 years younger than him) was covered from head to toe. She had them everywhere and had to have anti-virals as she had spots on top of spots. I've never seen anything so bad, even the dr was shocked. He said he would have expected DS to be worse, as they usually get it worse as they get older, but obviously that doesn't guarantee anything! 7 months is still tiny to be getting things like that, YANBU at all

SusiaX · 15/06/2011 22:28

I think DH, and MIL, are of the opinion that, a) they have to have it sometime and b) they wouldn't necessarily get it anyway.

Off to bed (DS still waking two or three times a night) and an 'interesting' conversation with DH!

OP posts:
fuzzpigFriday · 15/06/2011 22:33

Not worth the risk. My DSD had it when she was a baby and she ended up in hospital because the spots spread down her throat and she couldn't drink or breathe properly :(

My DD's best friend got diagnosed with it today, and DD seems quite unwell tonight, as does DS - they are nearly 4 and nearly 2 though so I'm not too worried if they have it - it is better to have it as a child anyway. But I wouldn't knowingly expose them to it, I'm not about to phone up said friend's mum and ask for a playdate!

Haudyerwheesht · 15/06/2011 22:38

This thread makes me so mad (not at you op). My father has waited years as have we all for a transplant, he's just had one. If he catches chickenpox it is massively bad news. Massively. He is on immunosupressant drugs and has no protection.

So irresponsible.

Yanbu.

whydobirdssuddenlyappear · 15/06/2011 22:41

CP can be mild, and yes, it usually is. And yes, I was really bloody glad when my dcs got severe enough cases to confer lifelong immunity (esp given I didn't, when I was little, have a severe enough case, so I have first hand experience of the joy of (albeit mild) adult CP). On the flip side, it can also have serious, and life-threatening, complications. Fine, those are rare, and in most cases it's mild, and sure, they have to get it sometime, but really, it's not sensible to knowingly expose anybody to an infection that could potentially cause harm. So no, imo, yanbu.

MCos · 15/06/2011 22:59

Not worth the risk for a 7 mth old.

So, YANBU, IMO.

Isitreally · 15/06/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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