reply as promised
firstly echo grumpy do not self medicate before treatment as she said we can prescribe sedatives if needed, from what you have said it suggests you are scared and very very anxious but not truly phobic, please tell receptionist before hand, if going with 2 DC it will only be an examination possibly xrays.
Trust needs to work both ways dso tell dentist true medical history and what tablets you are taking as if found out you had taken valium and not told us would not be happy
Most practices do not do IV sedation as it requires extra monitoring equipment etc and this is a legal requirement sedation is mostly on referral
you said your appointment was NHS so max bill will be around £200? in england it is more in scotland where I worked (on ML just now) was £380
if you are really scared when the 3 of you arrive ask dentist to see 4yr old first then younger one then if possible can they go into waiting room with their dad or a friend, children pick up very quickly on your nerves/anxirety and its natural if mummy is scared i ought to be very very scared, mostly i think its best to say very little in advance just announce on the day "we are going to see dentist he/she will check our teeth to make sure they are healthy"
try very hard to make out its no big deal just a small mirror to look at teeth, just like a teaspoon with extra long handle,
try and work out what bothers you most and say but not infront of kids hence advice that they go back to waiting room while you are seen and if you need treatment try and get childcare as if you are nervous and cry out it would not be good for your 2 or 4 year old to see this alos are you the sort of person the more info you had the more you are scared or would you rather know the minimum for consent different approaches work for different people. did you have a bad experience or not how to you feel about blood tests etc
As you are not in pain at the moment treatment can build up slowly with smallest easiest thing first, so maybe cleaned before dealing with big black teeth if there is no pain with them the nerve may well be dead in these teeth anyhow
most dentists are fine with nervous people I would think about half of patientsare not bothered at all, about 30% a bit nervous especially about treatment rather than check ups, 10% quite/really anxious and only 5% terrified, however only 55% attend regularly but those that dont not all are scared some dont think they need check ups just come if get pain, some its money and some are anxious, however if the dentist is not fine with it then go elsewhere.
any more questions please ask