to think that I need to be realistic and that I am unlikely to be able to find a job?

[wannaBe]

have been sahm for nearly nine years, ds will be nine in November.

Before I had ds I worked in a couple of different jobs, secretarial/customer services and most recently as a finance manager in the public sector (managing budgets for research etc).

Since having ds I have thought about going back to work, but realistically finding work that fits in with school hours/holidays is virtually impossible.

I have however done voluntary work, have helped out in school/listened to children read/have been chair of governors at ds' school which in itself has involved experience of recruitment (of ht) interviewing (of ht/other members of staff) involvement in the setting up of a children's centre attached to the school etc.

Last year I seriously looked into the idea of starting my own business, but for various reasons it wasn't viable. It didn't fail, I didn't invest any money into it, it just couldn't work for various reasons (as many business ideas do).

Now we are moving away because of dh's job, so I will be giving up all the voluntary stuff here, and I've decided that realistically now is a good time to start thinking about going back into paid employment.

In the beginning I was very enthusiastic, confident that I would find something even though I didn't really know what kind of work I wanted to do, I don't think I want to go and sit in a call centre though, I do want to work, but financially we can afford for me not to so don't have to settle for a job just because it's a job iyswim.

But since then I have had various people telling me I am deluding myself. There are no jobs/the jobs that are out there have hundreds of applicants/I have no qualifications/I haven't worked for nine years/I don't have childcare (we are moving away from family) so holidays etc become a consideration.

I will also add at this point (so as not to make it ibu by stealth) that as I am visually impaired I am slightly limited in terms of my prospects (although not so much as once was the case), but I couldn't, for instance, get a job that involved being able to drive, or become a TA as this would involve being able to read white boards/children's work etc. My "disability" doesn't limit me, but there are some limitations in that area iyswim.

I have gone from confidently telling people that I am going back to work to thinking that actually, they're all right, and that realistically, being a sahm for this length of time has actually made me unemployable and perhaps it would be better if I don't even try.

are they right?

gramercy I don't know anyone else who works who doesn't have a) more readily available dh/partner and/or b) parents or at least back-up childcare.

Me too, i have none of those things and it is an issue.

How about something in a school office OP? Could you do that with your visual impairment? That would be school and term only hours or learning mentor if you have school experience?

WannaBe - What is it that you want from a job? Do you and your DH need the money? Are you feeling bored and unfulfilled? Or do you just feel in some way that you 'ought?'

If it's any of the former two, then you should definitely persevere as to do otherwise will gradually erode your self respect. Don't forget that childcare is as much your DH's responsibility (both in terms of organisation AND cost) as it is yours - you made your children TOGETHER.

However, if you've enjoyed your role as SAHM and got a lot out of your voluntary community roles, don't be fooled into thinking that they are somehow less important because neither role is paid. People like you are the glue that holds communities together and you deserve more respect than the highest paid entrepreneur because your motivation is not money. There is nothing wrong in moving and continuing this lifestyle, as long as you can afford it and your DH values and respects you and your choices.

It's a tough time. No doubt about that.

I think you have to be quite assertive and proactive. Perhaps not tell people what your plans are if the reaction is going to be overwhelmingly negative.

Have you updated your CV? Has someone checked it for you?

When you see a job advertised do you ring/contact the named person asking for more info? Do you ring when you have submitted your application to check that they have it? It draws attention to you. I would also say that sending in paper makes it harder to dismiss than just another computer document.

Could you ring temp and employment agencies in the area you are moving to to suss out what is available?

I would keep a diary of your job hunting efforts, so that if it takes a while, you can look at it and see how much you have done.

When there are jobs available, SOMEONE gets them. Why shouldn't that someone be you?

GOOD LUCK.

I would consider weekends. Equally would consider the get- a job just to show you can do a job until the right one comes along - been there, done that, in the days when I first started looking for work no-one would even consider me and back then it was perfectly legal to discriminate, so I did telesales for six months . hated it but it was a means to an end.

I did apply for a job as a finance officer in the school three years ago and the only reason I didn't get it was because the person who did was far more able (I work with her as a governor now and she is fab).

Well I wish you all the best Wannabe and LOL at blind hairdresser! I think they did mine once!

I think there are jobs out there you could get although they may not be well paid. I know at my company we thought we were very lucky when we got someone good who would work 2 hours a day for 3 days a week covering reception, answering phones, etc. This meant we could cover just the busy times of the day.

It meant she could get a neighbour to look after her daughter, still spend lots of time at home, but bring in an extra bit of money. Now her daughter is older she has worked her way up to a full time non admin job.

If you were happy to do something like this then yes it may not be at all difficult to get a job. It is very difficult to find people who will only do a short number of hours.

if you would do weekends look at local garden centres and higher end garden furniture sellers. they often ooperae on seasonal work due to the summer and festivals, they usually pay more than minimum wage and they can be lovely places to work in too?

My OH a few years ago wanted a career change in a related field, but was getting absolutely nowhere with job applications. Until I saw a job advertised for 3 hours on a Saturday morning. OH applied for it and got it. Now OH has worked up to 3 days a week and no working on Saturday. These kind of jobs, if you don't have to work full time, can help you get a foot in the door and usually don't have many applicants.