DP and I are both teachers. My job is a long way from our home and necessitates a commute of about 1 hour20 mins. Her job is much closer- a 15 min drive. Our daily programme is: I get up at 5.45, leave house between 6.20 and 6.30, leaving dp in bed. She gets up soon after and leaves for school about 7.30, taking her dd who attends her school. She then reaches home between 4 and 5, I arrive home between 6 and 7. Because dp arrives home before me, she usually cooks but I cook about twice a week, more at weekends.
My problem is that after dinner, dp
just works, and works and works in the living room, usually until about 9 but often beyond. She also often works in bed with her laptop until 10.30 or even later. Meanwhile, I usually work for about 1hour, sometimes more if I need to. Other than this I like to relax in front of the tv or chat to dp and dsd before going to bed about 10. I am usually exhausted having been up before 6.
The problem is that dp sees her work as a priority over chatting and relaxing. She will not chat whilst working and gets annoyed if her dd and I do so, even if we are just talking to each other and will often shush us or say that she can't concentrate with all the noise! She also sees my relaxing as being 'lazy' and will sometimes make comments about my not doing housework- now I admit I don't really do housework other than washing dishes and tidying during the week, but I do more at weekends when I'm not so tired. Aibu to think dp's attitude is wrong somehow? I just want time together but never feel relaxed because of this situation.