To not go to a work 'family BBQ' that is on a Sunday evening before a new terms begins 30 miles away?

[DrNortherner]

Email invites sent today. 7.30pm on Sun 4th Sept at 7.30pm. The venue is 30 miles away from where our office is and where most of us live.

They are dubbing it as a family evening and kids and partners are welcome.

Not overly enamoured with my employers, and quite frankly can think of better ways to spend a sunday evening, however, I know it will be scorned upon to not go.

AIBU to simply say thanks but no thanks?

Why? They have arranged it outside of work hours. Reason 1 not to go. They have made it as difficult as possible with timings and location. Reason 2 not to go.

Give me one good reason why the OP should.

We have no children, and I can say quite categorically that we would not attend something like this. DH often works away during the week so our weekends are precious and a priority for us. If either of our employers tried this, they would be told to (in the immortal MN phrase) fuck the fuck off and then fuck off some more. You want me outside working hours - pay me overtime. And I'd thought this type of "brownnose to the CEO and have a drink" social event went out in the 1970s - sounds very Margot Leadbetter.

Lol at fuck the fuck off and fuck off some more!

I aint going, simple as that. Spoke to dh about it and he thinks it's madness.

I would have a word with your HR department or whoever arranged this event about the meaning of family friendly. I would not go unless the date and venue were changed.

YANBU - the man's on a power trip by the sounds of it
I'd only make effort to go to this sort of thing if I really really liked my boss and people invited
If you went you'd probably find you'd have to sling your car key in a basket and stuff

YANBU. Have your company never heard of "work / life balance"? Giving up a weekend night, and a school night to boot? Don't go, stick to your guns. Don't let them bully you, cos that's what this is.

An afternoon do might be ok, but I think the best you can do on this one is go on your own. I used to work somewhere like this!

Speak to the CEO's PA again, tell her it's just not possible for you to go. She needs to pass this on to the message.

Apart from anything else, this sort of event is supposed to help the office morale, but 'forced fun' that puts people out, particuarly upsets families, tends to do the complete opposite and breeds an attitude that management don't really care/are only paying lip service to taking care of their staff. You start losing loyalty, you start losing staff.