To ask what name concoction you came up with?

[bluemoongirly]

Hi
Im about to start planning my wedding.
I am determined not to lose my name.
However i am still arguing the point with DP...he doesnt mind he says but always tries to change my mind.
If we have children i would like them to have my name as a middle name...im compromising my beliefs by letting any children have his name but appreciate his argument of paternal parentage being questioned more than maternal.
i dont want hypened....so what did you compromise on?

no i have on occasion when people phone form certain companies been addressed as Mrs and i dont correct them its an honest mistake, but i hope that my parents and inlaws will get used to it before we marry

There's been a few threads about this sort of thing recently. The concensus seems to be that the only legal hassle with having different surnames to your children can crossing borders at passport control. All the other stuff can be amusing or annoying to various degrees.

It is only UK custom or tradition that children use their father's surname, not a legal requirement. I've noticed that quite a lot of couples choose to give their children both surnames at the last two names and no hyphen, especially where the woman kept her own name. I also think it may be a Scottish tradition to give children their mother's family name.

My DC have both our surnames. DP and I went with the order that sounded better, which happens to be Hisname Myname. DP wanted the link to his family and didn't mind where in the names it went. My DC are known as Firstname Myname but have two middle names. All deliberately long so that they will curse us when they fill in forms and run out of space.

If it is important to your DP that you all share a surname then you have three options - his, yours or a new one. If he won't change his name for you, perhaps he'll see why it's not so easily automatic for you to change your name.

Link to similar thread in Chat where you might get more ideas and reasons.

changed mine. My name was spelt interestingly as my great grandfather was illiterate, as it seems so was the registar when they registered the children! couldnt wait to end 25 years of contantly spelling it out to everyone.

now everyone call spell it no problem... they just cant pronounce it

I did what you want to do - I am not married but my 3 kids all have my name as a 2nd middle name and DPs as their surname. I am very glad we did this. My surname is actually also a boys first name but even dd has it in her name.

I resolved the problem by getting my PhD just before we got married.

I am legitimately Mrs Marriedname and Dr Maidenname.

DS is DS Marriedname as 1 - I have lots of nephews and DH only has nieces 2 - I use Mrs Marriename in situations when I am with DS and 3 - Maiden name is a bugger to spell and pronounce.

I am not concerned about us having the same name, and i think he is just thinking of any reason to argue with me.
I think the solution is is will remain Ms which i adopted when i became an adult and any children can be firstname, middlename, mysurname, hissurname