To not understand why people don't let their children sleep at grandparents

[Thefoxsbrush]

Both sets of Grandparents love having my children over for the night and the generally sleep over once a month.

This gives myself and husband a chance to go out (and have a lie in) and my children have some lovely quality time with their grandparents.

What I dont understand is one of my friends who refuses to let her child be looked after by anyone else other than herself. She never gets a break, although grandparents would be very willing to give her one!

My friend actively disapproves of my behaviour, is she being unreasonable??

I guess everyone's family is different! When I was younger I was sent to my grandma's every Friday night as was my husband. I loved it.

Ahhhh ceebeegeebies I bet with the right encouragement DS1 will be fine - he'll probably get spoilt and look forward to next visit.

BTW I have another friend who cannot cope with her 2 children so they take it in turns to sleep at grandmas every night!!! Now thats just taking liberties in my opinion. She's got another on the way aswell.................

I've started a 'get ds to nanny's campaign' at the mo
She had him today for 3 hours! Longest she's ever had him and hey both loved it so hoping it can become a regular thing. I'm a LP and it was lovely to have a break. I can't imagine turning down the chance of one without a good reason.

Agree with eveything r0zebud says! Grannies are legends! My friend's son is 2 x

YANBU that her behaviour (especially iro going clubbing with 2yr old in buggy and gps in tow?!) is weird.

but even though my two sleep through the night (they are 4 and 2), and even though they are my parents' only gcs (as i am an only child), i can't leave them with them overnight. my parents can't do small children. at all. i can't even leave them with them for a couple of hours in the afternoon. they have zero patience and when i see the way my mum talks to DS, it sends shivers down my spine as it is so reminiscent of the way she talked to me as a kid (down to the same phrases). my dad is now a grumpy old man who wants to read the daily mail and do the crossword and doesn't want disturbing.

i am separated from the kids' dad as well. so some help overnight sometimes might be useful, especially as i travel with work. but i can't ask them.

YA both BU
Great if it works for you.
The DC stay don't stay with my mum because she has just had a double hip op, her house is currently a building site oh and she lives about 400 miles from us.
They don't stay with DP's mum because she is a functioning alcoholic and suffers from OCD and anxiety. Doesn't make for a pleasant stay for her or the DC and wouldn't be a very relaxing night out for us, either.
On top of that DS is EBF and won't take a bottle yet and is on medication that has to be taken 3 x daily with very strict instructions. I prefer to do it myself.
We work with what we've got!

I think that it is lovely for both sides without you there all the time.
Some people are not lucky enough to have parents who can cope, but it is sad when it is just an over controlling parent who won't let go. I did it from a very early age and it was just home from home-both sides.
It is a good idea, there is nothing to say that you won't be rushed to hospital tomorrow and it is a bit traumatic for the DC if you have never had a night apart.

This has gotten me thinking that I'm a lucky duckie with our circumstances!

Tbh, I wasn't convinced that my mum was up to it, and definitely didn't think my dad was, but they have both surpassed my expectations, DD has changed them both in a way their other GC haven't as they haven't had the chance to develop this special relationship. It's actually beginning to get a bit awkward now as its clear the relationship they have with DD is so different from the other relationships. The only difference is that I took a leap of faith, trusted them, and invested the time in the relationship.

Taking a 2yo clubbing is just wrong in my opinion its exposing them to stuff that is just too adult, I realise that he slept, but still. She wouldn't have gotten away with that back home thats for sure, I can only imagine the look on the bouncers faces.... Seems like an odd double standard to me. Still you never know what goes on in a relationship unless your in the arms of it (another saying I love) so there may be politics at play your not aware of, or even she's not aware of, if that makes sense?