how bad do you think this is......

[paisleyII]

friend of mine runs a sweet shop in a market - a trendy type women came in with what looked like a 5yr old boy and asks is it alright if i leave him with you while i go for a coffee, i will only be about half an hour....my friend had never met the women before. wft, i wish she had asked me, i would have told her where to go. the thing is, i feel sad about the kid, i wouldn't leave my dd anywhere with a stranger, actually, i wouldn't dump my dd off even if it was with a good friend, not out of the blue unless it was really important

How true Morloth

I took my "just turned 8" DGD to the library the other day. She is quite small for her age but full of confidence. She has her own library card and library bag. I stood where I had her in my sight at all times but to anyone else it looked like a small child on her own.

She borrowed the books she wanted, scanned them at the automatic scanner, tossed her head and walked out of the library with me following behind her.

We play this game all the time.

We then went to the bank where she waited in the queue by herself and did her own banking (saving for a trip to Disneyland) and my banking.

Just pointing out that things aren't always what they seem.

Still doesn't excuse someone asking a storekeeper to look after a child

I used to wonder how my mother always knew what we were up to even when we were 'alone', now I know.

Omnipotent that woman.

mor - i hear what you are saying and think that is good, if you have a child of ie 7 who is desperate for independance (my dd doesn't seem that bothered about it) then letting them go off but keeping watch from a distance is ok, you are braver than me however, if you were a regular where i sell and knew my courtyard you would know instantly that at midday a small young child if you were the opposite side of the courtyard would not be viseable. there is noway the mother could see her, like being at a festival not far from the front and i am not exagerating, this is how it is where i sell, the kid was after a while anxiously looking around for her mother, i was watching her, this experience doesn't sound to me to be the same organised thing as you have described

You see, I don't think a 7 year old needs to be able to be seen by their parents at all times. Yes, it depends on the child and I do appreciate that, however I think there would be 7 year olds who are quite capable of visiting a shop and coming back to a pre-arranged place 10/20 minutes later to meet their parent. I know of 7 year olds who do this (or something similar) and I would have certainly done something like that at the same age.

If the little girl seemed scared then perhaps the parents had mis-judged her abilities, but that doesn't mean that as a rule of thumb 7 year old children need to be visible to their parents. It is a judgement call everytime.

the mkt where i sell i often see a young girl or sometimes a young boy (at a guess 7 ish) walking around the streets holding a tray with muffins in going up to strangers trying to get them to buy them. the little girl has a sad awkward look about her, then it turns out someone i know who runs a shop in the mkt told me the little girl has told her she doesn't like doing this as she feels embarassed but her mother makes her (i guess her mother thinks that she will sell more on the back of the cutness factor, a young kid trying to sell fairy cakes) - i think this is really sad. i also wonder and if i am honest, in part admire, the mothers gus sending out her kid to wonder the mkt streets going up to strangers in an attempt to buy her cakes and then take the money back to her....i know i couldn't do it. sometimes my dd does the mkt with me but she stays pretty much by my side although can wonder the courtyard until it gets mobbed later

(i meant guts & cuteness - bit too early for me)

My sister used to live in a house nextdoor to a conference centre. One summer day she was out in the garden with her pre-school age child...garden full of child's toys etc.

Complete stranger pulls up in her car and asks my sister if she would look after the woman's small baby for the duration of the conference that day. She had been let down by childcare arrangements...so was hoping to persuade a member of staff in the centre to babysit. Then when she passed my sister's house and saw all the toys etc in the garden she thought the baby would have more fun there!!

This was around 15 years ago and she offered my sister £200 to look after her child all day!! My sister said no quite politely and the woman was a bit snippy with her and said the poor baby would end up stuck in a room all day with a waitress!!

Thing is we have all been there when childcare lets us down, the woman obviously had an important job and couldn't miss this conference and she probably genuinely felt the baby would be better with a young mum whose house was all kitted out for small children rather than with a member of centre staff who who still be a stranger.

But I still don't think I could have pulled up outside somebody's house like that!

bent - weren't you tempted to look after the kid for £200

paisley - I wasn't there...was poor student at the time so might well have been tempted

My BIL did say he would have considered it but would have worried she would be back again the next time she was stuck for a babysitter...conference was on for a week! He felt sorry for the poor baby...I felt sorry for the poor waitress that would be roped into babysitting!

I've worked in various shops and its awful, but it happens all the time, send the kid in when they are parked arround the corner, drop the kid off and come back or worse, send them in to amuse themselves while they have a quick half. Once got left a kid to fit him with shoes, mum would come back and pay!?

When I worked in a video shop they'd often get shitty with me when I made them come in cos the kid wanted a certificated film. It was all I could do to kept my temper in check when I'm the bad guy because I made them come into the shop with their 6 year old FFS.

Thing I don't get is most people wouldn't let their handbag/wallet out of their sight but are quite happy to leave their children with random strangers