WIBU to leave my 3yr old at a party?

[shadycharacter]

DS1 has been invited to his first "non-family" party. I think it's the boys 4th birthday. DS1 is 4 in October but very grown up for his age and I don't think he'd bat an eyelid at being left with his friends from pre-school to have fun! BUT do you think I'm expected to stay?? I don't mind but I have his baby brother to look after and it'd be a bit awkward bringing him along!
It's not like I could stay and help or anything either as it's not a party in a house, I'd imagine it's being organised by the party company iyswim.
I'd be mortified being the only mum to drop and go but don't want to be the only mum hanging around either. What to do?!

My 3 year old would be fine to be left at a party. Except he likes to poo in other people's toilets (you can almost hear him think "ooooh, new toilet! I must try that") and he expects the nearest adult to wipe up after him

Seriously, 3 is too young, I'm sure the birthday kids parents have figured extra adults/siblings into the equation and perhaps they want you to stay so they can get to know you?

I have found very few droppers at 4th birthdays, about 50/50 at 5th and only the odd stayer at 6th parties. I don't mind people staying at all, more than welcome, babies too, but have generally hosted in halls, it might get a bit cramped at home, but I still wouldn't mind. My expectation would be that most parents stay for a 4th birthday, I think it's nicer anyway, the parents just chat amongst themelves help out with clearing up etc.

I wouldn't leave my 4 yr old at a party, and not just because he's so precious and indeed a darling, i just wouldn't expect someone else to be responsible for him, or trust them to tbh. last birthday party we went to someone left a 3 yr old and it was just a mare tbh, the hosts didnt really know him and were having to manage him as well as try and run a party. i think it spoiled it for them a bit.

At that age it is important that he knows there is someone he can go to if there are any problems and I don't think it should be the parents of the birthday boy/girl, they will be more than busy enough ( scarred by memories of father running pronto from his crying girl at DS's birthday party to go to the dump, I ran after him with his child and explained that I was too busy tending after the 25 other children plus my own son to comfort her).

Do you know anyone else who has a child going to the party, can you ask them to be that person, DS is 5 and since about 4, most of the mums and sometimes Dads share party ferrying with generally one parent left to look after 2-3 children.

no way
at my dcs school parents stayed until year 1 (6 year olds)
A 3 year old won't be able to go to the loo on their own and if the host takes him who will be looking out for the other kids? plus if it's outside he might run off

My DS would be fine going to the toilet alone so not worried about anything like that, plus the party is not too long. The invite states a "collection time", surely if they wanted parents to stay they'd say so on the invite? I will ask the mum anyway. I take your point rookiemater about them needing someone to go to so I'll probably stay as I don't know the other mums at all really, will just have to be the annoying mum who invites herself and invitees sibling along I guess!

BooyHoo, I know...that's why I'm consulting the MN jury before I make The Big Decision! :)

Why don't you ring asking whether she would like you to stay, or would she prefer to manage without - just asking as there is a pick-up time on the invite?