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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To enjoy going to church, even though I'm not really a believer?

12 replies

create · 11/06/2011 21:15

It started because my DC were going to a church run kids club. The church (naturally) encouraged the children to go to Sunday School and DS2 was quite keen to go. I've always said it would be their decision when they're old enough etc re religion and this seemed like him starting to think about that decision, so I thought he should go.

Sunday School is during the church service, so I started staying for the service rather than doing 2 trips. DS1 has started coming as well now and DH, from time to time.

I find I really look forward to it. There are some lovely people (as well as some odd ones Smile ) DC's make me proud often with the way they pipe up with answers, volunteer to read and behave. It's nice to do something together and whether you believe the bible stories or not, the themes are often thought provoking (count your blessings etc) which will often lead to interesting conversations with DC on the way home.

I wouldn't say I'm a complete atheist, I think there's probably "something" in it, but I can't take it all literally and have a scientific background. AIBU to keep going and enjoying the tea and cakes after?!

OP posts:
sc2987 · 11/06/2011 21:17

I used to go to CU events at uni with my Christian friend (and eat the free potatoes!). I am a devout atheist (oxymoron!), so YANBU.

Ragwort · 11/06/2011 21:18

Not at all - and I am a regular church goer (and believer) - all are welcome - my grandmother loved going to church 'I don't believe in any of it, but the cakes and the people are nice' she used to say Grin. Carry on attending .... you may start to believe Smile.

worraliberty · 11/06/2011 21:19

No, that's nice Smile

reelingintheyears · 11/06/2011 21:19

Atheist here too but i love all the hymns from my childhood especially the carols at christmas.

LetThereBeCake · 11/06/2011 21:19

yanbu. Spirituality doesn't have to follow a ticklist. Being comfortable with your own way of worship/non-worship seems fine to me.

It's possible to be a scientist and a believer though. When I tell the DCs the creation story work the big bang in there...

reallytired · 11/06/2011 21:19

I doult you are alone and there is nothing wrong with you attending church.

If it was easy to believe then no one would have faith.

Carry on as you are and enjoy the company, cakes etc.

squeakytoy · 11/06/2011 21:21

My parents were not church goers, and were both agnostics, but they always encouraged me to go if I wanted to. I loved Sunday School, and was heavily involved in many church activities such as Brownies, Guides, Youth Club as a kid. My parents both came to help out with social events too.

WyrdMother · 11/06/2011 21:25

I'm in much the same position, our C of E church has a family service once a month as the congregation is too small to warrant a Sunday School and my daughter wanted to go. It isn't really a situation where I could drop her off and come back so I stay and it's... nice, so no, I don't think you are being unreasonable in going. I did explain (a little warily) when asked that I was an atheist and reassured them even though they didn't seem worried that I wasn't going to shout "worra load a rubbish" during the sermon.

As long as you aren't pretending to be something you're not to them or your child then I think it's fine.

kaumana · 11/06/2011 21:27

I have not been a church goer for a long time ie since Sunday School but I have seen the lifelong friendships that my parents made while attending , by parents I mean my mum ;-)

My mum died two years ago and though my dad did not attend Sunday Service, apart from the Christmas Carol Concert the frienship continues.

So, yeah , I do think there is something in it

Enjoy the tea and cakes.

BornInAfrica · 11/06/2011 21:32

I think that's nice too. I love churches, love being in them - haven't been to a service for a while but I will one day soon

mrsrawlinson · 11/06/2011 21:35

YANBU in the slightest, OP. DH and I are what you'd call 'active' atheists now, although we were churchgoing believers for quite a few years. We joined a choir at the time, which we still sing with now and could never leave because it's such a lovely group of people. We sing in churches and cathedrals and take part in services regularly, and thoroughly enjoy the experience. What's not to love? Amazing buildings, beautiful artwork, wonderful music - I adore it. Doesn't mean I have to believe a word of it any more than I have to believe in Romeo & Juliet to enjoy a Shakespeare play. I, like many atheists, firmly believe that religions (and the C of E in particular) hold far too much sway in this country and will be happy when Britain cuts its constitutional ties with the established church once and for all. But I think you'd struggle to find anyone who'd say that religion as a private hobby or passtime should be abolished any more than golf or stamp collecting should. Why throw the baby out with the bathwater?

Pancakeflipper · 11/06/2011 21:41

My DP really does not do God. But he will sometimes come to church ( I do not ask him to ever).

He says he likes the majority of the people there ( including the odd ones). He likes the warmth of happiness and the cakes and biscuits. He says he also loves hearing me sing and says he loves the feeling of being made welcome even though they all know he doesn't believe ( because I have told them).

People go to church for lots of reasons. Cos the cake tastes good is a reason. And doing it cos' of your kids is a lovely one.

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