To think that I have possibly found the most insensitive person on the planet? (warninbg this may be upsetting to some)

[toptramp]

As you may have read in my other threads, my mum is dying of mouth cancer and I am finding the suffering aspect of it very hard to deal with.
I confided in my childminder that I was finding it hard as she has lost family to cancer. She said ''oh mouth cancer is a particularly nasty one. So and sos dad died of it and he had pus coming out of his eyes.''

Cue me thinking even more about my poor mum and spending the whole day in a deep depression.

Do people like this KNOW they are doing it or are they just a bit thick?

Your mum sounds great ..determined to carry on as best she can. Thoughts to you and your family and yes people should engage brain before speaking.......

I am so sorry. My Dad died of it too. He did not have the symptoms your childminder spoke of.

I know how hard it is and I am thinking of you.

Sending you love and kind thoughts TopTramp. Your mum sounds ace; a fighter.

I don't have anything to add other than I am so, so sorry about your mum, OP.

My deepest sympathies for you and your mum. What a truly appalling thing for her to say.

There is a sad type of person who just says the first thing that pops into their heads. Try not to dwell on it (i know it must be hard).

Toptramp, my dad died of cancer late last year. I have also supported a friend through her dads cancer a few years ago. I can honestly say some people seem to lose any conection between their mouth and their brain, to the point of disbelief.

Cancer is a bastard.

It's not until you get this close you realise what it is like. Childmiber is a twat. But please do not waste any more time on her, she is so mot where your focus needs to be.

Please feel free to pm me if you ever need to get anything off your chest or want a chat.

Thanks everyone. My life is like a living nightmare. Many of my friends have deserted me. I feel like a freak. I feel so hurt I don't know what to do. My crappy ex came back and said he would support me, couldn't cope with the grief and then left me again. i would love a supportive dp but I don't get the right men.

So sorry that you're going through this toptramp.

toptramp - I couldn't read this and not say something. I'm so sorry that you and your mum are going through this.

My own mother died of cancer just a few weeks after diagnosis, and I remember how it felt to be caught up in such a whirlwind of emotions, yet having to try and be practical and strong at the same time.

It's awful that your friends aren't their to support you - they probably have no idea how to help you, or how to relate to what you are going through. It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care.

I wish that there was something I could say that would help, but the best advice that I can give is to use this time wisely. Say the things that you want to say, let your mum know what she means to you, and remember there is still time to enjoy her company.

Thinking of you.

op i have posted about this in the past,i had breast cancer,i was 27 had 3 very young dc's and lost both my boobs and had chemo.People frequently recounted horror stories to me,one girl gave me a cracking account of her mothers painfull death.I was always flabbergasted and often very upset cos i couldnt imagine why they would want to hurt me more.I still have no explaination for it but i kearned to ignore them.I was even re admited to hospital after one person told me it had spread to her mums liver,i had liver pain,nowhere near my liver!!! I am realy sorry about your Mum,it must be awfull for you all.

God, how awful! Sounds like her brain does not entirely engage before she speaks.

Sorry for you and your poor mum.

Sorry to hear about your Mum, my Dad had mouth cancer many years ago, mercifully he is still alive but he has had to go through some truly horrific operations and treatment. I have no idea what must have been going through your CM's mind but over the years you get to know instinctively the people who have gone through tough times by the way they react to other peoples traumas, no compassion. Feel free to PM if you want to.