Too many toys?

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

My DS2 has returned to live at home after splitting with his DP, with whom he has a nearly 2 yo. DS pays considerably more maintenance than he has to, the child stays over here three nights/days most weeks, and the split is mostly amicable.

Apart from when the ex's mad bitch of a mother gets involved.

DS is low-paid and his ex is unemployed, so I like to treat my dgs and have bought various toys for him in the months since his parents split. Mostly these are small things, bath toys and so on, though I'll confess to a couple of ride-on toys and a small table with chairs. Nothing is hugely expensive, with "bigger" toys mainly in the £20 - £30 range. We live in a massive farmhouse with safe outdoor space, the ex has moved back into the council scheme where the rest of her family live, where outdoor toys could not be left outdoors, and she has little storage space indoors.

Word has reached me that the screeching harpie other grandmother considers that I spend too much on the child, and that I am attempting to "buy his love." AfaIac, the child has no idea where toys come from (they're just "here," we don't make a big fanfare of "Oooh, look what granny bought!") so any such attempt would be utterly futile, and as he's here nearly half the week, he needs toys to entertain and educate him here, as much as he needs them at his mum's house.

I will shame-facedly confess that when I heard this story, I maliciously bought a slide, a paddling pool and a sand-and-water toy for my dgs, and posted about same on DS's Facebook wall, so the ex would see. I realise that this is childish of me, but can't see how it hurts anyone.

AIBU?

It's extremely unusual for those brought up in large farmhouses to end up with low paid jobs with girls off council estates. What's going on here OP.

The large (cheaply-rented, because it's difficult to heat on account of the size) farmhouse is near a town with high levels of unemployment and DS isn't terribly academic; he's dyslexic and works better with his hands than his head. He's looking for a better job, but in the meantime is working in the first job he could find after the college where he was going to complete his apprenticeship closed.

What's going on here was teenage hormones, and two young people who thought it would be lovely to have a baby, but hadn't really thought through what that means.

You never know she might be jelouse that she cannot do these things for him? maybe, obviously don't know her or the situation, but maybe her remarks were just as quick as reaction as your actions were buying the new toys and putting them on FB.People do, or say things when they are hurt, or pushed.Not saying this is why, but maybe she has felt that she might have been pushed out or something. But tbh I think if she is just a mean woman then for the sake of your ds I would just ignore her comments.It is up to your gs's parents anyway to say if they think something is wrong with all the toys, so I woundn't worry.

Thank you, mommmmyof2. The other GM likes to have her family close by; the house they rented was about 4 miles away from her, and she told her DD (the ex) that she was the "family outcast". She's now back on the scheme she grew up on, just round the corner from her mum.

I probably won't be buying any more toys for months!

(And I won't say anything about them on FB...)

You go out and have a good shop OLKN.There is nothing,absolutely nothing,that delights a grandma as much as seeing dgc play with stuff chosen by said dgm.If your ds is happy and your dgs is happy and you are happy and,by the sound of it,even the ex is not unhappy then exm-i-l can just get on with it :)

DGS's mum has said nothing...