Long story short - DD2 is 14, her dad left when she was a babe in arms, a few weeks old. Has walked in and out of her life, an hour of his time here and there, gone for years, back again and gone again, lied about his job to avoid paying child support, same old story for so many lone parents, I know.
DD2 has been through hell as a bullied child and is now at a school catering specifically for bullied youngsters. I alone fought for and found this school. When ex DH asked about schooling during one of his once a month 1 hour visits (where he would talk about himself and to me, not to our DC) I bollocked him for leaving it all to me and leaving DD unsupported during months of fighting the LA, during which DD was without a school and this family was close to breaking point in desperation and exhaustion. He walked out in a huff, DD has been hurt and angry since. Made worse by ex recently giving elder DD £30 as a 16th birthday gift and saying that he'll take her and her friend for dinner to celebrate (when he didn't even send DD2 a card for her last birthday) and adding that he won't take DD2 with them to dinner or even see her because of her "attitude" towards him.
Tomorrow DD2 is singing solo at her school's charity fundraising event. This kid has been through hell and back, singing in front of strangers is such a brave move for her. Despite bitterness over being rejected by ex she surprised me by asking if she could call him this evening to ask him if he'd like to go and hear her sing. It's a 2 hour max event and very local.
He won't. He's too busy, won't change his plans (she asked, fair enough, the world doesn't revolve around her but she's a kid, he's her dad, of course she'll ask him to change them). Wouldn't tell her why he won't/can't go.
I've just heard her on the phone to a friend. The song she's singing is
She told her friend, her voice faltering, "I'm singing this for my Dad, I'm singing this about my Dad. He won't come and hear me sing. He says he's too busy but he won't even tell me why he won't come and what's so important that he can't be there"
AIBU to want to text the bastard and tell him "She's singing 'Because Of You'... she's singing it for you and she's singing it about you. You're breaking her heart."
She was fighting back the tears. Tears over her father that with one exception she's always bottled up, though I've seen it in her eyes, she turns away to stop them breaking through and replaces them with anger.
I won't do it, but christ, surely I'm not being unreasonable to want to and to be in floods of tears myself for my daughter tonight.
I suppose I'm not looking for validation, I'm certainly not looking for an argument. I'm just trying to offload because there's no-one else I can confide in tonight. Thank you for 'listening'.