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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit ticked off about a "home visit" from DS's pre-school?

59 replies

wasabipeanut · 10/06/2011 20:51

DS is due to start at a pre-school attached to a church school in September. He has been offered a place at the pre-school based on catchment. We will have to reapply to the school for a place the following year ? there is no priority given based on attendance at the pre school. Today I got a phone call following a letter that was sent a couple of days ago to arrange a ?home visit.? When I asked why this was necessary I was told that DS?s teacher wished to meet him prior to starting school. The only date available was a day that DS goes to a local nursery anyway (he will move from this to the pre-school in September) so I said I was happy to bring him in another time to meet the teacher.

I got a very firm ?no? in response. I was then told ?this is what we do.? In the end I agreed that I would keep DS at home that morning in order that this visit can go ahead. The subtext of the conversation seemed to be ?if you want your child to attend this massively oversubscribed pre-school then you will do as we tell you.?

AIBU to be a bit ticked off or are home visits the norm now? What exactly are they looking for? Will we fail if we aren?t godly enough??? We are not regular church goers and have never pretended to be. We applied for the pre-school based on catchment which is their main admissions criteria. Tbh I just like the idea of being able to walk DS to school.

I am genuinely not sure of IABU to be a bit miffed about them feeling the need to visit us at home. It just feels like they want an excuse to be nosey.

OP posts:
Blu · 10/06/2011 21:14

At the home visit of one of DS's friends, the teacher was chatting about books 'what is your favourite story?' etc and asked the child to bring his favourite book.
he re-appeared with the Argos Catalogue.
My friend was mortified Grin

Itsjustafleshwound · 10/06/2011 21:15

The school only started doing home visits the year after my DD started at her school.

My DS starts school this September and the class teacher made it clear that it was just voluntary and we had a choice of dates and times.

I think it is a great way for a teacher to get a handle on what her class as a whole will be like and an opportunity to discuss any concerns you have with the teacher.

RitaMorgan · 10/06/2011 21:15

We had a home visit when ds started nursery at 7 months. It's supposed to be an opportunity to get to know his keyworker, and for the child to meet new adults on "home ground".

MrsDaffodill · 10/06/2011 21:15

Wanted to add that I think, in general, schools should also tell you WHY things happen more often.

Ours explained clearly the research behind why home visits were valuable and why they did them. They explained it was a big investment of time from them to visit 90 homes and that they would only do it if it were truly worthwhile.

I think by explaining the reasons and treating parents as brains by giving them the research they probably allevieated a lot of confusion/ stress/ annoyance around the process. It also gave working parents a chance to evaluate whether this was a situation worth using annual leave for or not.

And by asking for time slots it meant practical things which helped them could happen too- e.g. I could tell them what hours to avoid because of restricted parking.

Original poster
wasabipeanut · 10/06/2011 21:17

Fortunately I work from home so I could be flexible and just send DS into nursery late on the morning in question. I imagine thought that a lot of parents don't enjoy that degree of scheduling flexibility. I'll see what we think of the teacher on the visit. If we don't take to her then there is no reason that DS has to go to this pre school. I'm sure she is very nice and I'm fretting for no reason.

OP posts:
Groovee · 10/06/2011 21:20

A few nurseries I've worked in have done this. They've found the child is more natural in their own enviroment and it gives the parent and staff member a chance to get to know each other. It meant when the child came to nursery there was a familiar face and it wasn't as daunting to such a young child. (most children are 3-5 years at the nurseries I work in)

DogsBestFriend · 10/06/2011 21:29

I would view the insistance on a home visit as intrusive and would decline personally, so no, YANBU imvho. It must be said here that unless the child is a potential boarder the law doesn't permit his admission to be determined or influenced by any interview upon either him or his parent/guardian, either face-to-face, by telephone or any other means. So, anyone worrying that their refusal to be visited or anything they say when and if they do agree to a visit might be prejudicial to their child's chances of admission can rest assured that this isn't the case.

Original poster
wasabipeanut · 10/06/2011 21:33

Arem't church school a law unto themselves though? I thought they could pretty much do what they wanted with admissions - hence me rolling over because I didn't want DS to be saddled with a rep as having a stroppy mother.

OP posts:
Original poster
wasabipeanut · 10/06/2011 21:33

Sorry for typo's.....Tired.....

OP posts:
corsilk · 10/06/2011 21:37

we had this 10 years ago - I didn't think it was a problem Confused it helps the teachers to get to know the children and parents/families before they start - put names to faces etc. Also it's an opportunity to talk through any issues.

nicolamumof3 · 10/06/2011 21:38

we had this for ds2 starting in reception last year, and will have for ds3 who's starting this september. No problem with it at all. I appreciated the time the school took to arrange it and was a positive experience for ds2 to meet his teacher and TA he was enthusiastic and keen to show them things and they could explain in a relaxed setting what would happen in the first few weeks of school.

My understanding is so that they can meet the child in a natural environment, it is of course so that they can indentify any problems as well, and why not?

Dancergirl · 10/06/2011 21:45

As others have said there's nothing wrong with home visits. We had one when dd started nursery and it was nice she could meet her teacher at home. Whether it helped her settle more quickly or not....who knows?

However they shouldn't insist on it. And you are quite within your right to say it isn't convenient.

sunshineandbooks · 10/06/2011 21:46

Well I'm feeling deprived now. My DTs are starting school this September and no one's even mentioned a sniff of having a home visit. And I've got a new carpet!

Humph! Grin

Seriously though, is this the norm? I'd never heard of it before this thread. I don't think it's something that happens round here as none of my friends with DC have ever mentioned it either.

clappyhands · 10/06/2011 21:48

i think this is really lovely and was actually put out to find out that DS nursery didn't do this (they do go and visit a child if they are in any sort of day care - in that setting - but don't come and see the children who were at home pre starting nursery)

hope it all goes well :)

DogsBestFriend · 10/06/2011 21:48

wasabipeanut, church schools are their own admissions authority, unlike community schools whose admissions are controlled by the LA but both still have to abide by the law of the land. The relevant legislation is the Schools Standards and Framework Act 1998 - I had to haul the Church school which DD is due to start in September over the coals and take the case to the Ombudsman because they carried out an interview upon us and then declined admission as a result (long story and unusual circumstances but the basic facts remain that interviews to decide admissions are illegal). The Ombudsman found in my favour and the school was put in its place in no uncertain terms.

troisgarcons · 10/06/2011 21:51

Oh it's lovely - I love reading the crib sheets the teachers fill in ... this one sticks out ..... 'too X-ian' - never come across that abbreviation before but 'too christian' ?. I always think it's worth £10 under the DPA to see whats in files

Rosebud05 · 10/06/2011 21:56

It's fairly usual practice and not part of the checking where people live (that's the LEA's responsibility, not the school's).

It does seem a bit unreasonable of them not to agree to another setting but there are shifts in parents having their say between pre-school and school and this is an example.

cat64 · 10/06/2011 22:04

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exoticfruits · 10/06/2011 22:10

I thought they all did it now. It seems a brilliant idea.

MangoTango · 10/06/2011 22:10

I declined the offer of a home visit before my dd started preschool (it was optional for us) as I didn't really understand what the point of them was, but I realised after she started that it would have been a good idea as she would have got to know her key worker in an environment in which she feels relaxed rather than meeting everyone for the first time in a new environment. For that reason I have said yes to a home visit for my dd before she starts school. I hope it will help her feel more confident when she starts school and I like the idea of being able to chat to the teacher 1:1 about any concerns/ask questions before she actually starts. I don't see any problem with it at all.

MangoTango · 10/06/2011 22:12

cat64 Our school does the home visits in the first week of term before the reception children actually start, so no cover needed.

cat64 · 10/06/2011 22:24

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Rosebud05 · 10/06/2011 22:26

How are teacher's children stuffed?

exoticfruits · 10/06/2011 22:28

I assume that teachers can't ge time off, Rosebud-the way they can never do sport's day etc.

cat64 · 10/06/2011 22:32

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