AIBU to ask advice about this tricky sexual topic...

[dirtyoldwhore]

I posted on health half an hour ago and no replies - too slow...

No judgypants please.........

17 years ago I caught genital herpes off my then boyfriend. I later got married and have since separated - told my ex dh before we did the deed so he could make informed decision.
I have been on my own for 4 years and now have possibility of actual meeting of a man through dating site and possibility of sex! Do I wait until I meet him and see if we fancy each other or do I tell him before so he can decide if he wants to meet or not? We have done the usual e-mail/texting/phoning and both keen to meet - been slightly flirty but not too rude...

Any suggestions on the etiquette of telling about STDs?

do a google search on herpes dating site uk - you will find lots and lots of potentials in same situation!

you know, im not sure id want to be looking for a partner based on them having a STI - i find it a bit odd, because i am pretty sure that you can safely have sex post herpes, i know my friend has.

Herpes dating site??!!

no advice on date, but i read recently that virgin organic coconut oil eaten daily can cure, yes, cure herpes!. No experience myself but google it - benefits of virgin organic coconut oil

Something witty, that was indeed! Gave me a good little giggle!:)

passiveaggresive - I can see where you're coming from, but I think it's quite common for people with HIV to actively seek out partners with an HIV positive status.

Go to the GP and get a prescription for aciclovir and take it for a week before having sex. Use a condom. Then tell him and let him know that you have taken every single precaution possible to ensure he can't catch it. Unless he's a cunt he should be understanding.

HIV is a bit different though, i can understand that

Who compared herpes to HIV? 75% of the UK population carry one or other strain of the herpes virus. It's vaguely annoying, not life threatening.

herpes can be spread even without a sore (google viral shedding) but it's less likely. Hence aciclovir suggestion.

Sorry, didn't mean to compare Herpes to HIV, only in that many people with HIV seek out partners of the same status - I assume this is so they don't have to worry so much about infecting another person? The idea of a Herpes dating site baffled me a bit because as EricN said, it's not life threatening. Just a bit of a pain in the bum from time to time. Scuse the pun.

I think Golly was just saying that there are dating sites for those with HIV as well as those with herpes, l just dont think that having herpes is so drastic that you would only want to have sex with another sufferer, seems a bit OTT. Of course HV is a million times more serious.

Does anyone know if you can or cannot catch herpes from cold sores or is it a different strain? My DP gets some real motherfucker cold sores and obviously we dont do oral at that time, but i just wondered why, if herpes can be spread by cold sores, its not more rife than it is.

Yes you can...unfortunately

They are different strains HSV2 is transmitted during sex anal or oral HSV1 is a cold-sore and this is passed during oral sex or kissing

sorry anal or vaginal...

Yep I have type one on the fanjo which I got from DH's cold sore. You can't get one type in both areas though you could get one in each. That would be bad luck though.

I actually got a cold sore on the bottom of my foot once!! it was very weird, i have a patch of shingles on my bum which my doctor looked at and said, you have shingles, i then showed him the one of my foot and he was and said that was herpes simplex (shingles is herpes zoster and more closely related to chicken pox, i think)

Herpes on your foot? How? I understood that the herpes virus can colonise in the spinal cord or cortex and so it comes out on the face or genitals. I didn't know you could get herpes on the foot!

I may be a freak of nature eric :) Herpes attacks and lies dormant in nerve cells so it probably tracked down my leg (shudders) It was actually really painful and my doctor signed me off work for two weeks, it didnt hurt that much, but of course it comes out when you are run down.

It sounds unpleasant! Not that it's ever a party though

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I agree with the others, don't tell him before you meet him unless the only reason you are meeting up is for sex. If you possibly want a relationship then I don't imagine that a sexual infection would be the deciding factor. And if you want a relationship then don't have sex with him straight away anyway (bit old fashioned but it's true).

a herpes dating site, that is mad, genital herpes is no big deal, so easy to get and a pain in the ass. i almost think i would prefer it the the giant face herpes i get because at least no one can bloody see them if you dont want them too.