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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be feeling a bit put out by this?

3 replies

JaneFonda · 08/06/2011 22:58

This could just be pg hormones, so I am entirely open to being told I am BU!

I have a friend who I've known for about a decade, we were best friends up until last year, when we both got different jobs and just saw each other less.

At first, we saw each other fairly regularly and it was okay, but then everytime we arranged to meet up, something would come up which would mean she couldn't make it. I later found out that most of the times she couldn't make it, it was because she was doing something with other friends, so she had lied to me.

Anyway, she texted me last week saying we should meet up today, so we arranged to - then she told me two hours before we were due to meet that she had an appointment that she couldn't miss, and could we do it another time.

I'm just feeling a bit upset about it, I've made effort to preserve our friendship but it seems as though it's not important to her. Am I being over sensitive, or do I have a right to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
Orbinator · 08/06/2011 23:16

I'd feel the same tbh, but then I'm pg too and have been accused of using my hormones as a get out clause...you can't really win when pg. People think you use it as an excuse but it really means you can't react normally or people roll their eyes and won't listen to anything negative...anyway, my rant over.

I'd probably just make myself less available to her. Let her arrange the next meet up, don't put yourself out for her too much (meet somewhere easy for you etc) and maybe just a little text the day before checking up that she is still coming would help? I do this to my less reliable friends as sometimes they just forget to text until the alarm goes on their phone to remind them when they might know the night before that they can't make it, for example. It p's me off though as I always make an effort to be early for things and, especially when pg, it can be a struggle squeezing meetings in/walking around to get to places etc only to find out someone else has prioritised you further down their list. YANBU in my also hormonal opinion [WINK]

Pumpernickel10 · 08/06/2011 23:30

Jane I feel for you and I've been there too. I used to take cancelled meets with friends badly, I'd cry over them. Friends really were busy it was me being too over sensitive. YANBU Jane it's the hormones, just let your friend arrange your next get to together.

JaneFonda · 08/06/2011 23:42

Thank you for your responses!

I suppose it was just because I was trying to arrange something before I give birth, I know it will be so much more hectic once the twins arrive and I don't want to see our friendship go down the drain.

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