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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to ask the fairy jobmother, if she is so self disciplined, why is she over weight?

71 replies

carriedababi · 08/06/2011 20:14

i was wondering maybe she has a medical issue?

OP posts:

madonnawhore · 09/06/2011 10:19

She's fat because she's common and poor.

LynetteScavo · 09/06/2011 20:49

I think the answer is, carriedababi, that is easy to be disciplined in think you enjoy doing. So she fairy job-mother enjoys appling for jobs and presenting herself in the best light and getting on and doing the task in hand. She doesn't enjoy not eating her favorite foods and taking exercise.

Some people can be disciplined with study, some with dieting, some with house work. Very few peopled are disciplined in every area.

RottenTiming · 16/06/2011 05:54

Well Well Well,

Long-time poster accidently outs herself as shallow/condescending/sneering/a bit judgey* about people who are, lets say, larger than a size 10.

= delete as appropriate

They say that being on camera adds 10 lbs.

They also say that "truth will out"...... shame on you carriedababi

Hayley seems motivated/dynamic/sympathetic I could go on......

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 06:30

Well, your assumption there is that because she is overweight, she cannot herself give a good first impression.

Taking the points you make in your second post - you believe that because she is overweight she - does not look good. Gives a bad first impression. Has no / low self esteem. Lacks discipline and does not present herself well.

Which doesn't say anything about her, but it does give a crystal clear indication about your views of fat people

So perhaps the fact that you feel this way is to do with your feelings about fat people generally? Could that be possible?

Does her weight make what she is saying not true?
Does she tell other overweight people that their weight is an issue?

Those things would make her own weight relevant.

If all she is doing is guiding people to make the best of themselves, then how is weight relevent?

is this her? if so - really? this woman is so overweight that it's an issue? Perhaps there is something wrong with me, but she actually looks fine to me.

I thought you must be talking this at least

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/06/2011 07:00

Not quite sure why Antibes weight makes them good or bad for this sort of job? If her weight offends you so much then don't watch the programme.

Good job we didn't meet a year ago as seeing my huge arse as you entered the lesiure centre would probably have made you vomit. Lucky for me you would probably be quite happy to talk to me now seeing as I have lost weight, of course the fact this was cause by bereavement, miscarriage, anxiety, stress and a troubled pregnancy wouldn't matter, just as long as I'm not too fat in your opinon.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/06/2011 07:00

*anyones

ExpatAgain · 16/06/2011 07:24

Well, when i saw the programme she DID make a big deal of self-discipline, personal presentation/grooming/importance of first impression at interview.. so in that context imho it is perfectly valid to question her weight..

Thought OP asked a rather mild question, surprised by some of the defensive reactions to it

revolutionscoop · 16/06/2011 07:33

Agreed, expat, some responses seem waaaay out of all proportion

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 07:42

"Well, when i saw the programme she DID make a big deal of self-discipline, personal presentation/grooming/importance of first impression at interview.. so in that context imho it is perfectly valid to question her weight.."

Well, if someone feels that being overweight means that you cannot make a good first impression, lack self discipline, do not present yourself well, are not well groomed, then yes, that would be true.

If, otoh, someone feels that being overweight does not mean that you cannot make a good first impression, does not mean that you lack self disipline in your life, does not mean you are not presenting yourself well, and that being overweight does not mean that you are not well groomed, then you would certainly disagee with that pov.

So really, and without having a go at the poor op the real issue is perception of overweight people and the idea that carrying extra weight makes you look awful, terrible and means that anyone looking at you cannot possibly think well of you, is it not?

and again, are we talking about this woman? this woman does not look anything other than within a normal range. She does not look spectacularly overweight to me.

ExpatAgain · 16/06/2011 08:09

I can see where you're coming from - of course you can still make a good impression..
However, the "over" in overweight matters for a first impression, it will be clocked and evaluated along with everything else so of course it can affect the impression made.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 08:12

But are you judged incapable because of it.

And again, I ask this woman? because I can't believe that someone who looks like that could be considered so overweight that she can't possibly talk with any authority on how to present yourself.

Even if I felt that being overweight meant that you couldn't talk with any authority on how to present yourself.

ExpatAgain · 16/06/2011 08:21

well of course not! There's a huge difference between (inevitably) clocking someone being overweight on first impression and judging them incapable! Did anyone say that or are we upping the ante for a scrap here ??

AgainWhen · 16/06/2011 08:30

I read somewhere that people generally see fat people as less intelligent than thin people. Anyone thinking that being fat doesn't affect people's impressions is living in la la land. I don't know a single fat person who doesn't truly hate being fat.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/06/2011 08:45

Bullshit

yes she talks about being well presented and making a good first impression but she's talking to people who are showing her what they would wear to an interview and last week one guy presented her with a White shirt with a stain down the front.

The objections to be op are that a good first impression = cannot be fat.

AgainWhen · 16/06/2011 09:27

I think that's right. Of course you might notice that someone is well dressed, well made up, good hair, nice smile etc. But you notice all that stuff a split second after you notice that they're fat.

MollysChamber · 16/06/2011 09:31

Well I would say that she is a bit large but looks smart and professional to me so I can't really see the issue tbh.

Hammy02 · 16/06/2011 09:32

I assume Carrie has the figure of Elle McPherson, the perfect relationship, beautifully behaved children and never drinks or smokes?
Hmmmm.

Goldberry · 16/06/2011 09:39

Yawn. No idea who this 'fairy jobmother' is, but is it not perfectly normal for a person to be disciplined about some things and not others? e.g. I am ALWAYS on time, but my house is untidy. Does it therefore follow that nobody who is overweight has any self-discipline about anything in life?

BelleEnd · 16/06/2011 09:42

I've never seen it but the pics people have posted on here make me feel shocked that you think she's overweight. Short and curvy, yes, but fat? No.
And even if she was, it is really terribly judgmental of you to think that it shopuld affect her work.

I pity anyone who's first impressions of overweight people are always negative.

akaEmmaFrost · 16/06/2011 09:42

Is she particularly overweight? She looks ok to me .

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 12:32

"are we upping the ante for a scrap here ??"

Well, I am bored...

Nah, I just think it's an interesting point and issue re being overweight meaning not being well groomed / not giving a good impression. Which is sort of what is being said if someone asks if an overweight person can advise on how to best present yourself.

I think it's the assumption that overweight is what? ugly? ungroomed? poorly presenting yourself? and that it is an indication of your character.

I am in no way scrapping with anyone just wondering if people who think that have really thought through what it is that they are saying and if they really mean it. And if they do, why do they.

However, it would also be fun to fight.

Yer all a bunch of CAAAAAHHHHHS!

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