to not let ils take dd out?

[familyfun]

DD is 3.11 and ils told her this week they would take her out for the day and dd was pleased as she loves them.
BUT, ils are in 70s, mil doesnt wear a seat belt, i dont think they would remember to strap her in car or remember how to, they have their stinking dog in the car and even if its not in the car stinks, they argue loudly all the time and dd would be trapped listening to them, fil is ill at the moment with headaches, they arent safety conscious like hand holding by roads etc, they have never looked after her for us.
aibu?
dp agrees with me that they shouldnt take her and shouldnt have told her without asking us first.

I would not let these people take my child out alone in-laws or not! If you don't want them to take her out at all i.e. because they disrespectfully made a presumption that they could without checking with you and then told your daughter it was ok, then simply say no and tell them why you are not happy. The alternative is you taking your daughter out in your own fresh smelling car and inviting them to join you. In-laws have no right to make decisions involving your child and not discuss it with you. Grrr! And to get your daughters hopes up without knowing it would be ok is bad too. I think they have shown you a lack of respect - if you let them get away with it you will send out the wrong message and they will do it again. Besides if you feel that safety is an issue then there really is no discussion - it shouldn't happen. I feel very strongly about the seatbelt thing too - I insist everyone wears them when they are travelling with us and if they don't they can bloody well get out of the car - it's not optional!

I would not let these people take my child out alone in-laws or not! If you don't want them to take her out at all i.e. because they disrespectfully made a presumption that they could without checking with you and then told your daughter it was ok, then simply say no and tell them why you are not happy. The alternative is you taking your daughter out in your own fresh smelling car and inviting them to join you. In-laws have no right to make decisions involving your child and not discuss it with you. Grrr! And to get your daughters hopes up without knowing it would be ok is bad too. I think they have shown you a lack of respect - if you let them get away with it you will send out the wrong message and they will do it again. Besides if you feel that safety is an issue then there really is no discussion - it shouldn't happen. I feel very strongly about the seatbelt thing too - I insist everyone wears them when they are travelling with us and if they don't they can bloody well get out of the car - it's not optional!

its not optional yummymummy, i agree, i told dp his mom wont be getting in a car with me or our kids again unless i see her buckle up.
they are disrespectful.
its a no and im happy with my decision as is dp.