favouring girls?

[skybluepearl]

Do you believe in helping your children equally? My parents have very little but have treated us all equally and I intend to do the same for my own children. My inlaws are very different and i struggle to understand why they hold such a traditional approach in this day and age. Is favouring girls still the norm in todays society?

So why do some people provide financial support for daughters weddings and not sons weddings? Buy equipment for daughters first child but not for sons fist child. Give their own children large xmas/birthday presents while they their childrens partners a small token gesture.

I never really gave it much thought but now i have children of my own i just want to make sure they are all OK regardless of sex. They are only tiny now but I can't ever visualise financially favouring one child over another.

chipmonkey that's awful!

MIL tends to get joint presents for me and DP so I've never had a token gesture - if she gives us a cheque it's always made out to me as I'm (supposedly) more financially responsible!

All grandchildren treated equally, although our DSs do get to spend more time with Granny than the other grandchildren purely for geographical reasons.

Both my sisters paid for their own weddings.

Totally weird favouring one sex over the other IMO.

Traditionally parents would pay for their daughters' weddings, but set their sons up in business (pay for apprenticeship, schooling, pass on company or trade etc.). Over all the boys got a lot more out of the deal.

Even now parents, on average, give boys more pocket money, spend more on boys' schooling if they go private, and spend more on bringing up boys than they do on bringing up girls.

YABU to generalise your experience when statistics indicate you are not the norm. But YANBU to be at spending that is based on antiquated ideas about roles and responsibilities.

I really can't imagine that SuchProspects-I had brothers and it just didn't happen. Even my grandparents didn't do that. (I'm not saying it isn't true-I expect it is-just weird)

My parents are totally equal with my brother and I; even though he is my half brother and my 'Dad' is actually my step father. My MIL has been lovely to me (maybe because she has two boys) she's bought me generous gifts and as both DH and I had big birthdays this year she gave us equal gifts. I'm really touched as I wouldn't expect more than a token gift or card. However now thinking about it maybe my SIL would feel annoyed that we get more. But they live abroad and don't make much effort with the family, BIL flat out will not see his Dad. We go to see all DHs family and MIL comes over every six weeks or so to stay. I'm sure that as we spend more time with them this where our inequality comes from.
We have two DD so they will have the same help - it will be interesting to see what happens if BIL has a boy and how family react to it.

Exotic don't really understand what you're trying to say. It didn't happen to you but you can't imagine it happening? Still, you're not saying it isn't true? [hmmm] So what are you saying?

I don't really relate to the OPs post, my parents treated my DB and me pretty equally from a money perspective. And I don't think I have any female friends whose weddings were paid for by their parents. But I can certainly imagine it happening.

I'm pretty sure my parents favour my DH over me, tbh. My mum stresses about what to get him for presents and how he'll react about this and that. She doesn't really care whether I'll be upset about things.

They've also always favoured my brother over me, he gets lots of financial and practical help (even now, aged 36 single with no kids). I insisted on me and DH paying for our own wedding but my dad still kicked off afterwards that it wasn't the wedding HE wanted me to have . I can't win.

So yeah with my family it's definitely the opposite way round.

PIL might treat your family differently because you have more money coming from somewhere else. My parents supported my sister financially (single mum, lousy job), but not my brother (great job, happy marriage). Can it be a case of "to each according to their need", rather than being "fair". I take more trouble with birthday gifts to nieces whose parents don't really bother.

Just that I accept it happens, but that I am shocked, I can't see me having any favouritism and I was obviously lucky as we were all treated the same. Why do people do it?