To think if you give someone something what they do with it 3 years later is up to them

[ILoveyouMum]

My ex partner thought it was a good idea 3 years ago to get my ds a lizard as he kept going on about wanting one, He got it off of preloved with a basic vivarium, I didn't know about it till he turned up with it,

Of course my ds 12 at the time was delighted, paid it lots of attention and got it out all the time, My nieces bf had one in the past and said he had a viv his dad wanted rid of and my ds could have it, so they all went to collect it, lights didnt work as it had been in their shed for ages but my ex got it all sorted with bits from the one we already had, the new one was better and we were very gratefull, We gave the origanal viv away on freecycle cos had no room to store it,

Forward on 3 years, Ds has lost interest in poor lizard, I feed him most days(when ds forgets) and switch his lights and heater on, Finally convinced ds that he needs to move on to someone that will take proper care of him, done lots of research online about selling him on and have more options if selling with viv, lights, heater etc, but now nieces bf has decided that if we sell him then he wants the viv back as he may get another lizard in the future,

aibu in thinking that after giving it to ds 3 years ago that this unfair?

give anything back

They'll only sell it for a fortune once they've reclaimed it.

Tell him he can have the viv back if he also takes the lizard.

That should say NEVER give anything back.

And of course, the link should work

fingers x-ed for this time.

Just sell the lot, tell the bf tOUGh, and be done with it.

He gave it,it is yours to do what you want with it

I dont get why people are saying the OP is morally wrong to sell the viv. The Neices BF gave an item that he didnt want with no stipulation that it was a loan or that he wanted first refusal when they got rid.

And lets not forget that it was a non working bit of junk that he had no use for when he gifted it, but is now in full working order so I wonder if he would still want it if it was knackered?

He gave it as a gift and as such, lost any rights over it. She should sell it and have done or return to its original condition and see if he still wants it then!

I'd tell him to get stuffed, then clip your DS round the ear! This item was given to you, in non working condition, 3 years ago! If he'd given it to you last week, fair enough. Unless BF requested it back when you'd done with it in the first place, he has no rights, morally or legally!
DS is being a typical child about this, as you say, he never goes near the animal and you are paying for it.
If he isn't interested, I'd sell. I'd probably give DS the money, but he wouldn't have much choice. It's not fair on the animal.

I'd sell the lot and tell the BF to do one- he basically offloaded his crap on to you and you were the ones who got the bloody thing to work again. Would he still want the tank thingy back if still didn't work? If you do decide to give it back to him I'd make sure it was in the exact condition he gave it to you in- ie, not working. I'm petty like that.

Just sell/ give away lizard plus viv.
What, exactly, is anyone going to do about it once it's done?
Don't be soft, the lizard needs a decent home, everyone else is behaving like shits. Fuck 'em.

Can't you contact local animal shelters or research specialist reptile rescue and ask them very nicely to rehome the lizard for you? He'd have a much better chance of finding a good home there than in the free-ads. Then give the sodding viv thingy back to the eejit who is fussing and wash your hands of the whole affair. If it's truly not about the money and you're wanting the lizard to be well looked after, that seems the only option to me.

Why don't you ask the viv owner if he would like to give the lizard a good home, as he's thinking of getting one anyway? Would solve two problems.

Is there a shop that would buy the lizard from you? (just the lizard)

If there is, sell it, give your ds the money (he wants), remove the parts that don't belong to the viv, and give it back to dn bf

Id say i dont have your one any more, this is a different one - on your one the lights and heater didnt work

ILove what area of the country do you live in as I used to belong to a reptile club and we used to rehome unwated reptiles all the time without vivs. Pm me if you wish and i will see if i can find anyone to help you