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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Midwife late for appointment

42 replies

SusieCoo · 06/06/2011 13:59

I am currently 41w, due for induction in 2 days and hopes of home birth starting to fade fast. My lovely CM is on annual leave and her colleague does not seem to believe in home visits for AN appointments (although my CM had always booked them without me asking). Last week she cancelled my 40w appointment 3 days in a row (which is fine if there was good reason), turned up really late and was quite negative and unhelpful. She also told me that I would be admitted if my diastolic BP went over 85 during my home birth. I have a feeling it was a tiny bit high that morning because I had been waiting around for my appointment/ sweep and was getting stressed and anxious.
Today she was meant to be coming this morning to do another sweep (kind of on a time scale here as induction less than 48 hours away). I phoned the office this morning for a rough idea of her arrival so I could plan for what I needed to do, told would be before 12. It is now nearly 2 and I haven't heard anything from her. I can feel myself getting really wound up, BP will probably be up and it is shaping up to be a waste of a day (when I want to be as active as possible).
AIBU to think she could at least ring to say she is running late? In my job I can't just turn up as and when and not many people can. I appreciate she is busy but still...
I will need to phone the CM office soon due to school run but don't want to miss my sweep but equally don't want to seem too pushy.
Fed up and hormonal

OP posts:

Mumwithadragontattoo · 06/06/2011 14:08

YANBU but she is probably just tied up with others as you say. Ring the office. Ask them to find out what time she'll be with you. Say when you'll be out for the school run and say she'll need to avoid that time. Emphasise that you really want her to visit today as want to give the sweep a chance to work before your induction date. Good luck! You'll be holding you baby v soon and this will all be a distant memory

bluebobbin · 06/06/2011 14:10

It is very rude and annoying to cancel repeatedly and be hours late, but I think that the MW probably has far too much to do. Sounds typical of antenatal care in this country, although that is no help to you. I have waited 3 hours past the appointment time in NHS hospitals for antenatal care when pg with both mine - there are simply not enough staff for all the things that need doing.

Hormoneoverload · 06/06/2011 14:10

I always found it surprising that midwives postnatally would give no idea of timing. But I think it is very common. And i do generally trust midwives to be on our side within rhe ridiculous constraints placed on them. In our area, you don't ever get antenatal home visits if you are remotely physically capable of attending clinic. So yanbu - it's really frustrating but not much to be done about it really

whatsallthehullaballoo · 06/06/2011 14:11

You try and give yourself a sweep?? Not sure how confident you are.

worraliberty · 06/06/2011 14:12

Perhaps she's in the middle of delivering a baby?

I had 2 sweeps and a home birth but I always attended the clinic which was quite a distance away.

Northernlurker · 06/06/2011 14:13

Yes it's annoying but this midwife has obviously got too much to do. You do realise that she is probably late because she's been attending a woman in labour (yes they do stay up all night then work then next day) or seeing women with urgent problems. I know your sweep is important to you and you're v fed up - but by no stretch are you an urgent case.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 06/06/2011 14:15

Northernlurker: by no stretch

Original poster

SusieCoo · 06/06/2011 14:16

I would happily have attended an appointment at any time during my pregnancy. Makes more sense than waiting round and must be more time efficient for all. However she actually volunteered to come out this morning (and appointments seem to get fully booked weeks in advance according to what i've heard).
May be time to start looking at DIY sweeps...

OP posts:

revolutionscoop · 06/06/2011 14:16

Midwives are routinely late, IME, unfortunately it seems to go with the territory. Just sit back, have a nice cup of raspberry leaf tea & try to relax. I'm sure she'll be there soon :)

cannydoit · 06/06/2011 14:18

home visits, really. lucky you.

bumpybecky · 06/06/2011 14:18

you know you don't have to be induced don't you? you can refuse their very kind offer if you'd rather wait it out...

whatsallthehullaballoo · 06/06/2011 14:19

Susiecoo - have a go - you might surprise yourself! There lots of ladies on here that have done it I believe. Goodluck

SeymoreButts · 06/06/2011 14:23

Don't do a DIY sweep! But if you can reach your membranes at 41 weeks I take my hat off to you.

It is annoying but typical of CM, it is impossible for them to stick to an appointment time, which is why they don't give them.

I remember when I was 41 weeks sitting in a hospital waiting room for 3 hours for a sweep, only to be told I couldn't have one. I burst into tears.

Northernlurker · 06/06/2011 14:26

whats - I know, I typed it, reread it and thought

Op - sounds like something's come up to delay her. Here's hoping it will be you labouring delaying her getting to another 41 weeker mum tomorrow

whatsallthehullaballoo · 06/06/2011 14:29

The unintended puns are the best!

cobweb1979 · 06/06/2011 14:42

My midwives were in general, fantastic, but they were terrible at keeping appointments. They NEVER called me to rearrange them if they didn't turn up, and in the end I gave up phoning. So my baby is 16 weeks old and I still ahve all my maternity notes and was never signed off by the midwives...

controlpantsandgladrags · 06/06/2011 14:49

IME midwives don't keep to alloted time slots well. Most of them are overworked and just far too busy. I must say I'm surprised you've had all your appointments at home.........they certainly don't do that in my area! Is there not a clinic you could go to to get your sweep?

EssexGurl · 06/06/2011 15:50

Midwives in my area won't do home visits for AN appointments at all. They only do them for post natal visits and then they never ever tell you a time, just that they will be coming on a certain day. Even then they warn you that they might not show if there is another issue for them to deal with. So, I think that you have been very well treated with having them at home so far. If the lack of visit is concerning you and causing blood pressure problems, then I would try to get an appointment at a clinic. I can never recall having to wait very long at my AN clinic - they did all AN appointments on set mornings/afternoons each week and was all very organised. For a sweep they would give you a double appointment and all sorted. Try your clinic.

Also, just have a think about the fact that if you did get your home birth would you want your MW spending lots of time on the phone calling other people to cancel change appointments when she should be dealing with your delivery? Sorry, that sounds a little harsh but there are always other circumstances to consider.

Original poster

SusieCoo · 06/06/2011 16:08

To be fair I have had the majority of my antenatal care at work (gp surgery) so it has only been the last 3 appointments I have needed them for and the local practice (at least according to my usual CM who did my booking) is for the latter ones to be at home. To get a clinic appt I would need to be referred for consultant care. I fully accept that I am lucky to have care at home and delays etc are inevitable however I don't think there is an excuse not to turn up, which is apparently not uncommon unfortunately, seems unprofessional. I wouldn't be quite so bothered if the sweep was not so high on my list of must-dos today...

OP posts:

SnuffleTurtle153 · 06/06/2011 16:12

That's crap! I'm so sorry for you. EXACTLY the same thing happened to me (I was due 28th Feb this year and FINALLY got swept on 13th March!!!). I ended up being induced because the blimmin woman didn't turn up to do the second one.

Phone her and be angry! Don't worry about being pushy! Channel the hormones and moan!

WassaAxolotlEgg · 06/06/2011 16:15

I really sympathise.

I'm sure it doesn't make you feel better in the least, as you wait there impatiently with a huge bump, but she won't be just dossing about drinking tea.

It could be a homebirth, helping a woman establish breast-feeding, sorting out an admission to hospital for a jaundiced newborn or helping a woman who's simply not coping.

Fernie3 · 06/06/2011 16:21

She might just be busy, with mine I had to have a check every two weeks from 5 weeks - 20 weeks then every week until 28 weeks then every DAY until the end( plus many scans, hospital admissions etc). I learned quickly that if I had an appointment I was likely going to be waiting around :)
The most annoying thing was when she would arrive, start the appointment ( normally took about 20 mins so not a huge amount of time) then her phone would go and she would have to rush off for a home birth - and either come back later or I would have to go to the doctors or hospital for the rest of the checks! This happened about 3 times, other times she was at least able to finish the appointment before leaving!

The best part was all my other babies were early this one held on until 39+3 just to spite me I think:)

NoseyNooNoo · 06/06/2011 16:27

She might b busy but that doesn't mean she has to loose her manners. Even if she is delivering a baby at this exact moment, she won't have had her hands up a woman's vagina for the last 4 hrs - or at least I'd hope not! A quick text from her to the office would have solved this.

ILoveYouToo · 06/06/2011 17:25

Snuffle "Phone her and be angry! Don't worry about being pushy! Channel the hormones and moan!"

Gee, that's helpful. The MW is probably stuck at a birth or dealing with something more urgent than a sweep; how is someone who thinks her sweep should take priority over everyone else, phoning her up ranting and moaning going to enable her to get there any quicker?

onceamai · 06/06/2011 17:47

Interesting thread. No problem imo in phoning the m/w office and asking where she is. Somebody should have called you. I had my dc a long time ago 16.5 and 13 years and even then they were soooooooo busy that women's care was suffering. Didn't stop them gossiping about everything but my pregnancy and screeching about personal matters at the nurse station when I had been admitted to hospital. I once remember being kept waiting for 45 minutes for a 9am ante natal appointment - the m/wife told me they had been very busy on the labour ward. It hadn't stopped her talking to the office staff for 35 minutes about food for a party (I don't think she realised I could see and hear her from where I was sitting). Personally I think everyone is a bit too respectful of midwives and they are a little too disrespectful of mothers.

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