when the doorbell goes i DRIVE to the front door and smash through it singing...

[BelovedCunt]

How're your flaps FitBloke?

i dont answer the door in a hurry as im in the loft MOVING BOXES

I make the butler do it 'cos I'm to busy baking cupcakes and talking about my feelings to my hunz ... ( mental picture of loads of bemused blokes on horses with little furry hats ) ( that's the bemused blokes in hats, not the horses ... )

I always ask the postie inside to see if I can help him with any other deliveries he might need to make

i don't answer it if there is a really go adam sandler film on obviously

I sometimes open the door naked with a delicately handled cupcake in each hand and pinny slung jauntily around my midriff...

my postie is usually late now and only comes after lunch.

we are mothers

we live on planet earth

she is our mother

respect all mothers
do not drive
do not have barred doors
do not have computers or OS for that matter

feel the energy

I'd rather not answer the door because as a tiny and beautiful woman I am extremely vulnerable to leering males who might want their evil way with me.

Also I am not sure how the handle works. I'll get DH to read the instruction manual and then teach me. But I'll only do it in daylight.

ShowOfHands I have leaned out of the upstairs window with a bairn attached to my boob to yell at the local feckers kids who were knocking the door down looking for DS.

You let people in the street SEE you bonkers20 ? But a leery beery man might have noticed you and then come knocking on the door and you would have been quite powerless if you had opened it. Completely unable to tell him to go away, or to close the door again.

You need to get nets. That way nobdie can SEE you walking about without outdoor clothes on, or covet your rare and expensive home furnishings and TV ( from Tesco)

i went out and WALKED THE STREETS grinning at the memory of this thread

like good sex
but so not

[hands pharoah a post coital fag]

Pharoah, in this heat - what about your complexion???

sstill lolling