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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put DD1 (who is 12) on the train on her own

23 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/06/2011 15:19

at Reading, to be collected by friend in Plymouth? Or will social services be called? I used to do this journey every year from age 10-14 on my own.

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 05/06/2011 15:21

yanbu, 12 is old enough

KittySpencer · 05/06/2011 15:23

Is it just one train or does she have to change? Will she have a mobile with her?

If yes to both then I'd say YANBU.

I put DS1 on a train for a 1.5 hour journey at just turned 11. His dad met him at the other end, and he had a phone with him in case of any emergency. He was absolutely fine, loved it in fact - had a couple of mags to read, an Ipod to listen to and some snacks - I think he enjoyed the peace away from me and DS2!

pozzled · 05/06/2011 15:25

I'd say that is fine, as long as she has a mobile and knows not to panic if the train is delayed etc.

AgainWhen · 05/06/2011 15:25

yanbu

Mabelface · 05/06/2011 15:26

For one train, then yes. If there are changes I'd be a little more hesitant.

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/06/2011 15:27

One train, no changes, and yes to mobile. I thought it was fine (given that I used to do the journey) but one of my friends thought otherwise. So I thought I would ask you lot. Grin

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 05/06/2011 15:28

I put my 11 and 12 year olds on a train to bath, we live in Brighton.
When I was 10 I was put on a train nearly every holiday to stay with my lovely family tin Birmingham and I lived in London.
!2 is fine, doesn't stop you worrying though does it?

gillybean2 · 05/06/2011 15:39

Make sure she knows not to stay in a carriage on her own if everyone gets off (ie move up a carriage or two) and see if you can find someone on the train when she gets on who is going to Plymouth as well.

I use to go to school every day on the train, involved 1 change and an hours journey. Mum asked someone (young girl early 20's on her way to work) to keep an eye on me just in case anything out of the ordinary happened.

Only issue might be if the train is seriously delayed for some reason or they have to get off but both are unlikely. Presumably you'll check there's no replacement bus service or engineering works planned.
I lost my ticket once after changing trains and had a panic. Had left it on the other train! Also left my bag on the luggae rack once. First and last time I attempted to get it on there Grin

Also make her awae that the mobile signal can be a bit iffy on the train sometimes, especially when out in the countryside, so not to panic if she can't get a signal and to try again in a couple of minutes.

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/06/2011 15:40

Thanks, Gillybean, that's sensible advice.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 05/06/2011 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretNutellaFix · 05/06/2011 15:51

absolutely fine, especially if she's a confident sensible girl.

TidyDancer · 05/06/2011 15:52

I think it's okay, just make sure you stay within range of the phone for the whole journey and that she rings you at the other end.

barbarianoftheuniverse · 05/06/2011 15:53

Not at all, mine has been doing it since her best friend moved away at age 10 (daylight journeys only). Never any problems.

Maryz · 05/06/2011 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grabaspoon · 05/06/2011 15:57

I used to do it half termly to go to boarding school.

Make sure she has her ticket - my mum once forgot to give me mine!

Tell the guard that she's travelling alone - I often got put in first class for free so the guard could keep an eye out

Tell her what the stop before her's is so that she is prepared to get off at the next stop

unknownrebelbang · 05/06/2011 15:59

If you're comfortable with the idea, and she is, yanbu.

FabbyChic · 05/06/2011 16:04

I never get a signal when Im travelling on the train, could be she won't either, the only trains I find I can get a signal on are Virgin.

Be aware she wont always be able to text.

12 is fine to travel one journey on a train.

DilysPrice · 05/06/2011 16:08

Make sure her mobile is fully charged (and forbid her to use up the battery playing Angry Birds or pack her charger somewhere accessible). Otherwise should be fine.

rubyrubyruby · 05/06/2011 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BulletWithAName · 05/06/2011 16:19

I was using the Underground by myself when I was 12. It's fine.

giveitago · 05/06/2011 16:21

YANBU if she's being met the other end and has a mobile phone in case of train issues.

ChessPiece · 05/06/2011 16:29

Give her some advice about sitting next to family groups or women, and how to handle herself if a man starts getting "friendly" with her. IMO I would tell her to avoid getting into conversation with any man (sadly). Just don't go there. Be polite but move carriages if necessary.

I've had two bad experiences with this problem on trains - once as a 19 year old and once in my twenties - wouldn't have liked to have coped with it as a youngster. Even when it seems innocently and friendly, it can be quite intimidating and when it develops into somthing more sinister, as it did for me (guy reading a porno mag and touching my thigh), it's frightening.

You need to prepare your dd to suss the warning signs and take avoiding action, without worrying that she's being impolite.

nailak · 05/06/2011 16:54

lol, are you serious? at 11 i was ettin bus and train to school myslef every day, and comin home and makin my own tea!! lol it would take an hour....

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