had enough

[RoxyLady]

Had enough

I've not had a drink of alcohol or a cigarette since the time I found out I was pregnant. My daughter is now four months old and I'm breast feeding. Everytime I try to get her onto formula she gets badly constipated so I go back to breast feeding.
I just want to have a complete blow out on drink and a smoke. I'm tired of being tied to my baby and my patience is starting to run out. I'm constantly irritated and when she has a crying session I'm finding it increasingly hard to keep my cool.
Me and my boyf are also arguing all the time and I'm starting to dread every day. I only enjoy her when she is sleeping or in a smiley mood. I've just had enough.
My mum isn't nearby. Only his sister and she is constantly judging everything I do, I wouldn't trust her with my daughter for 2 secs.
Am I being horrible??? I'm so snappy all the time.

No, YANBU.

Can you express?

Yeah but it takes days to get enough until alcohol is out of my system. One boob is not enough. She needs both for each feed.

Now I've written this down I'm actually feeling more depressed

Good lord woman, have a drink and a fag. pump store clean milk if you are really bothered, then pump and dump after. Babies are hardcore at times and you have nothing left of 'you'.

I know I will get burnt alive for above advice, but can only administer advice I would do for me. And after a bitch of a few weeks, months, years, I cracked and did same today. Feel 100% better. Am constantly sniping at Dh who is being good to DCs and sometimes ok to me but intermittently A-hole.

Not horrible my love, just bloody knackered, bedraggled and pissed off like most of the ladies here (well at least those who are perpared to admit there is this foundation between the supamummy facade).

BMS xx

It's ok. It's sort of normal. Have you got any good friends with babies you can talk to and spend time with. I would have gone insane without mine.
You sound like you might have PND, maybe talk to the docs.
And it's ok to have a drink when bfeeding IMO. I have a glass of wine every night (just the one!) I really enjoy it and relaxes me, which relaxes baby.
This won't last forever. I hope you get lots of support on here. You are definately not alone.

Ps I reckon if you are sober enough to drive are sober enough to BF so have a glass of vino. Shouldn't condone smoking but since I occaisionally do and am BFing (yeah send me to hell in a handcart haters). Asked the BF counsellor about this she was like is better to have occasional fag and BF than FF IHO, but do so just after you fed baby so you have the largest realistic gap.

Look, how much wine are we talking about, and how long does your baby go between feeds? (day or night)

Becuase you can certainly have one drink at least. But if you can express enough for one feed, and your baby goes three hours without a feed then you are looking at half a bottle of wine right there, non?

Amen to Smokey and Banjo. Not exactly lighting up the crack pipe are you? Go easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself.

The first few months are really hard, but it will get better. Don't beat yourself up over a glass of wine, but do try to limit it to drive-ability. Can't condone smoking, but recommend that tomorrow you just try to get out of the house with or without the baby, and try to talk to other new mothers. Have a really good whinge about life - it does help and it makes you realise that what you are feeling is in fact COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!

You are only human, growing a baby and having and caring for a baby takes an immense amount of energy, concentration, control not just for a few minutes but constantly. It is bloody exhausting!

Four months is a difficult time as it is when the adrenaline and excitement run out and you are left with the reality of the babe and their needs.

You can have a drink and a fag if you want. You do still own your body. I'd say what you need more is a break - a few hours where you can just sleep and where someone else takes over. Even if you are BF your partner can do this - place the moses basket at his feet and return to bed until the next feed. Men are new to this too and only learn by doing. He'll see he CAN manage and in time even come up with a few tips himself.

So anyway no you are not horrible. Can you talk about why you and boyf are arguing?

YANBU. I don't blame you for feeling like that. I did.

Have a drink. One glass won't do any harm. Build up a supply of expressed over a few days and then go out for the night if you want to.

Send the man out with the baby for a good long walk tomorrow. With any luck the baby will fall asleep making the time he can stay out for even longer.

While they're gone, have a break. Sleep, or have a long bath, or sit in the sun with a large glass of wine. Whatever you want. This is what keeps me sane with my nearly four month old.

Well, that and sitting in the pub with NCT mums having cake and a glass of wine while we breastfeed our babies. Highly recommended. Just be careful as your tolerance will be very low and it may go straight to your head.

Never drink and then fall asleep with your baby. Never give the baby booze. Golden rules.

Christ lovely. HAVE A GLASS OF WINE!

Minute amounts of alcohol come though in breast milk... literally minuscule amounts.

Cluster feed, baby to bed, couple laege glasses wine, couple fags, if baby gets up, give formula until morning if you feel the need although I never did. Seriously, she needs you sane and happy - you are meant to enjoy this and so is she - if you don't, she doesn't. Chill. xx

Your body is your own - you kept it lovely for your DC for 9 long months, now it's yours again to do with as you wish - give yourself a break, have some and a fag and don't feel guilty about it.

Your baby won't suffer if you have a drink! Like other people have said, only tiny amounts get into your milk!

Have a smoke before your bath then you will wash off all the third hand smoke particles from your skin and hair and be in clean clothes. Brush your teeth and voila!

I really think that you being stressed and snappy will be much worse for your baby than a drink and an occasional smoke!

second Muser, you just sound tired and babyfrazzled, a half hour free of baby will probably do you wonders

Agree with everyone that said to have a little drink and a fag.

If I hadnt had such a shitty birth I would not have started smoking again, on the plus side, you dont get time to smoke as much with a baby, so Im only having about 6 a day, and its a palaver, my fag routine is, strip off, put on old dressing gown, go to the furtherest corner of the garden, have a lovely fag and 5 mins peace, go back in, remove old dressing gown, scrub hands, gargle with mouthwash and get dressed again.

If all its going to take to turn you into a calm, happy Mummy is a couple of fags and a glass of wine, then do it

I'm having a lovely bottle of cider right now. Mmmm.