To wonder why is it so much trouble for H to wash once in a while?

[tiredmomma]

So his personal hygiene is lacking - to say the least. I changed the bed sheets today and would rather he had a wash before climbing into a lovely clean and fresh bed. He works a very physical job, the temp was was quite high today, most people would have a shower/bath at the end of the day(or am I imagining that?) especially if they break a sweat in their own particular line of work.

About a half hr ago he tells me he is going outside to have a smoke and then off to bed, I asked was he considering having a shower before bed? and he got all huffy and told me I should have told him earlier that I had changed the sheets, so I replied well really you should be having a shower every day. He then tried to make light of it - and I said no .. really you need to have a shower every day!. At this point he stood up and as he walked out of the room said 'I don't care'.

I heard him moving around upstairs and the sound of the bathroom door being unlocked so I'm guessing he has had a shower now, and when I eventually go to bed he will expect me to want to have sex with him.

I did love this man once upon a time - we have children and more than 15yrs together, I just don't know anymore.

Sorry, this is probably all over the place. I suppose I am putting this out there for opinions really.

Ps I am going out for a smoke now and then am going to bed - I had a shower after I put ds to bed just in case anyone is wondering!! , so I'll check back in tomorrow.
thanks for reading .

yanbu I hate when dp does this. Its offensive. his excuse is its too cold.It really does drive a wedge between us and i dont think its depression unless he has suffered it from birth!

frankly the smoking smell would kill anything for me much faster than not having a shower

not that long ago, when i was in my late teens so really not that long ago relatively speaking, everyone had a bath once a week. If I wanted a bath in the week my dad would look disapprovingly. In fact most families shared the water as well. Showers are a relatively new thing

I used to date a guy who was like that. Thought he could have a quick shower once a week!
I bath/shower every morning and then strip wash in evening (or vise versa).
My dp will shower every day or sometimes he does every other day, depends, but that's ok.
This other guy used to tell me I wash too much!

I would not sleep with a man who did not wash. I once had a 'boyfriend' who refused to wash, as a result i refused to have sex with him and eventually
dumped him( we were together for a year and did not have sex)

If he smells it is vile. But OH and I sometimes don't bathe everyday (we don't have a shower).

So long as we don't stink of armpits or bums I'm not all that bothered, although I wouldn't go more than 2 days without by choice!

Sorry I didn't get back to this before now, have been up to my eyes!

Thanks everyone for the replies, so yeah this has been going on for years. He's not depressed, just a lazy git who has no respect for himself firstly and me and his children.

Its not that I say you need a shower and he will go have one, no , its that I say you need a shower most days- and give him the glad eye on occasion - but its been 2 weeks since his last shower and it was beyond overpowering.

Its getting me down though, funny enough the other night I expected him to try it on when I went to bed, but no he was asleep.

The reason I don't want to sleep with him when he finally has a shower (even if it would provide an incentive to him) is that I am not his mother, and reminding him is like reminding our teenager to have a shower, he is not in the dark as to how I feel.
I have said in the past as plainly as I can if you shower more often you will get sex more often but he has ignored me for so long if its finally sinking in its maybe too little to late.

2 weeks???

two weeks!!!! ewwwwww thats vile no way would i be getting into bed with that, I cant stand smells when Im trying to sleep and that must have been really unpleasant

I wouldn't have got into bed with him - no way!!! I would be seriously hacked off, that's revolting, you poor thing!