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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be gobsmacked at this re Facebook?

78 replies

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 03/06/2011 23:01

I have been trying to get my act together for a whole week regarding a project I had to do for a Sociology course.
It entailed having to prove or disprove that people's interactions are moving away from the normal face to face stuff, with people just 'speaking' to other people on the internet, texting, emails etc.
Eventually decided to concentrate on Facebook, as that seems to be how most people communicate now. So I 'invented' a false person, added a profile photo of a very attractive woman, sent out some friend invites, but only to folk who would have attended a local school (not mine). I included a fair ratio of men and women, then sat back expecting nothing.
I was amazed to get, not only people accepting my friend requests, but other people asking me to be their friend!
I, as myself, know some of these people, but the persona I invented...name, age, photo, school, etc, is not real. Yet these people accepted me without question.
I am totally gobsmacked, just cannot believe that folk will just believe this stuff. Are they so desperate for friends they will accept anyone or what?
It has certainly given me an angle for my project, but what are these people thinking?

OP posts:
tomhardyismydh · 04/06/2011 00:04

not sure how creating a false fb will relate to your hypothesis Hmm, does not seem too well thought out. wouldnt a traditional questionnaire suffice. not sure what data you will be able to gather.

kw1986 · 04/06/2011 00:30

"Random adds" aren't limited to facebook. It happened on Bebo and Myspace too... I have a niece that does it. Just adds random people and then never actually talks to them. I think its a numbers thing. Makes her look like little miss popular when she's not!

I'll stick to my 35ish facebook friends... Rather be a billy no mates than a fiona faker! :P

sharbie · 04/06/2011 00:37

lots of people do this on fb - i don't

those who play online farming games etc - better to have more friends
for some it is a competitive/numbers thing who has the most friends
ds is into music/dj stuff and random people add who are in the same business - record labels etc

wellwisher · 04/06/2011 01:30

You should read Sherry Turkle's new book Alone Together - it's all about this. As for your FB research: try harder! As tomhardy said, you've proved nothing. Make a questionnaire about how people contact each other, why they choose those methods, and whether they feel things have changed.

differentnameforthis · 04/06/2011 03:03

For some, fb is all about how many friends you have, rather than meaningfully interacting with people.

My sister, for example. Has 2000+ friends. She adds randoms. Only 4 or 5 actually talk to her on her wall.

A friend adds randoms, most of her posts on her wall are 'thanks for the add, do I know you' to which she replies 'no, random add' and that's it.

The whole point of fb, is to network, to get to know people you don't know, so in essence the two examples I listed are doing what fb is intended for. Except the interacting part, because once added, they don't, hardly ever.

HengshanRoad · 04/06/2011 07:13

"added a profile photo of a very attractive woman"

I think this is treading on dodgy ground to be honest. Who was this woman? Do you have the right to use her image?

lilolilmanchester · 04/06/2011 07:20

it's v odd behaviour, I think some people think that a huge number of FB "friends" makes them popular.. a friend of mine (and a "real" friend, rather than a FB friend) adds anyone and everyone. She's added some of my school friends, who she's never met nor ever will, people she's spoken to once on a night out etc... her choice, of course, I just find that a bit weird.

Tee2072 · 04/06/2011 07:24

I would bet money that nearly all of those people assumed you were someone from their school that they didn't remember but didn't want to say.

And I am also not sure what that proved about social interaction.

mrsbiscuits · 04/06/2011 07:26

I think there are different types of FB users. I fall into the "only have people I know IRL and wish to connect with them " category but there are alot of people out there using it to meet new friends and either create or widen their social circle and are quite happy to accept requests from strangers in order to meet them and get to know them. Then of course you have the teenagers who just add anyone because they are trying to beat their mate to 5,000 friends. I don't think you can blame FB for being any one thing in particular. It is what you want it to be and if you don't want lots of strangers trying to befriend you then don't let them.

cannydoit · 04/06/2011 07:34

my ex use to add hot scantily clad girls he had over a 1000 'friends' some people add people for games like mafia wars i believe there is a site were you can advertise for what game you want friends for. i think it all pretty crazy i never add anyone i dont know and even then am pretty strict, yeah i might have know you in school but i didnt like you then so what are the chances i will now Grin

voodoomunkee · 04/06/2011 07:49

Have I missed the point? Is the research not a little unethical? It's still early so therefore I may be missing something.....

sausagesandmarmelade · 04/06/2011 07:54

I think it's rather sad that some people feel the need to accept strangers as 'friends' in order to make themselves seem/feel more popular than they really are...and I think people are generally becoming more dependent on the false/lazy relationships that the internet provides rather than seeking and working at real life, genuine, meaningful relationships.

sausagesandmarmelade · 04/06/2011 08:06

I think that Internet User behaviour (and the contrast between the online persona and the real life individual) would be a great topic for a thesis...

Good luck with your project. There are so many angles you could take on this.

troisgarcons · 04/06/2011 08:10

Kids accrue friends as a sort of competition as to who is most popular.... thats why FB and the like are breeding grounds for grooming .....

sausagesandmarmelade · 04/06/2011 08:13

But I know adults with 100s of FB friends that they don't know...

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 04/06/2011 09:19

I don't get the fear and hatred of Facebook. It's obviously another mundane thing: being uncomfortable with anything unfamiliar in case it's full of peedafils/anarchists/threats to house prices. Facebook is just a tool that people can use in a way that suits them, or not bother with. It is, for instance, very useful for people who live a long way from family/close friends: you can keep up with each other, see photos of how little Tarquin is coming along etc. It's also quite nice to be able to keep in touch vaguely with folks you used to know and like but haven't got time to see much of. And it can be useful if you run a small business and want to promote it.
Are you doing something like Behavioural Psychology, OP? If you are, please be aware that most of it is wank and it's very easy to come to the wrong conculsions by asking the wrong questions and having no control group.

BecauseImWorthIt · 04/06/2011 09:24

FB is very definitely only for people I know. That said, I do have some MNetters as friends, some of whom I have met, others I only 'know' from MN. (And I culled a lot of them recently after some unpleasantness). All my settings are private and I only post stuff I would be happy for anyone of my friends to read.

But Twitter is completely different. I follow/am followed by some people I know, some people I have got to know, through MN and also recently through a Twitter 'tweet up' - but mainly they are complete strangers. And that's what it's all about I think. No pretence at a deeper relationship, just banter and sharing of thoughts, ideas, pictures, news stories, etc. A bit like chatting to a random stranger in the pub - except from the safety of my own sofa.

Mowlem · 04/06/2011 21:20

So is my group of friends the only ones who refer to people who collect facebook friends as "Facebook whores"?

As for your research - I'd think twice, as I would say that it would fail the ethical part of any decent study.

Adversecamber · 04/06/2011 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NickRobinsonsloveslave · 04/06/2011 21:38

Some intersting replies here. And some good ideas, think I'm going to have to change my initial idea.
Re the questionnaire. I don't think people would answer this honestly, would they? I mean, would you admit that, yes you have 250 friends on FB, but in RL only have 5?
I think it would be more intersting to look into WHY some people, or maybe ALL, collect friends they don't really have any kind of relationship with.
On the radio a couple of days ago somebody, can't remember his name, claimed that it was virtually impossible for any individual to have more than 50 friends. He argued that the human brain was incapable of actually participating with any more than this. I thought this was really interesting, considering that most people could actually count their 'friends' on one hand.
So, it seems that there are a lot of people who are on FB purely to collect as many virtual friends as possible. I imagine they do this in order to make themselves appear popular to the outside world. Doesn't this random collecting just have the opposite effect though, actually making them appear shallow and so far removed from RL, where they coudn't possibly have 250 or so friends?
Also I must state that I realise this project is far from perfect and as it is in the early stages still, am prepared to do some tweaking.

OP posts:
MamaMary · 04/06/2011 21:39

FB is a place to boast about your life - you can post updates describing how wonderful and interesting your life is; and you can add lots of 'friends' to show how popular you are.

It's all false. And quite sad.

DuelingFanjo · 04/06/2011 21:41

you could read this which is research done by a relation of mine. I remember being given one of his questionnairs when he was doing the research. Could it be similar to what you are doing and maybe it was he who was on the radio?

DuelingFanjo · 04/06/2011 21:43

more here on Dunbar's number

NormanTebbit · 04/06/2011 21:44

Why don't you just ask regular users about their experiences? Why they use it, how it impacts on RL.

Personally I think this 'we're all alone, the machines are taking over,' stuff is a bit hysterical.

NeonGolden · 04/06/2011 21:51

Why does everyone always agree that people communicate less in real life and more on Facebook etc?

Let's see, I've had Facebook for three years or so now, and I actually think I see my friends (my real friends) MORE because of it. It's so much easier to find out where they are / where they're going to, and meet up there... It's just replaced a lot of the texting/calling. I also don't use it to share very intimate details about my life, more for various small things like sharing books/music I enjoy, keeping in contact with friends who live abroad, checking out pictures of my nieces who I don't see every week, etc. Really, how can that be a bad thing?

It's not the medium that causes problems imo, it's the way people handle it.