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To think this woman could have been A LOT more discreet?

24 replies

TheFeministsWife · 03/06/2011 20:47

I realise this AIBU so I've donned my hard hat, especially as this topic has been done so many times before.

I was at the park this afternoon with my dds. They were playing on the swings and slide etc whilst I was sitting under the shade of a tree browsing MN on my phone watching them playing. A young man probably in his early twenties walked past the playground area. A mum shouted, "Excuse me, I want to talk to you," (think really loud obnoxious scouse accent) at him whilst striding up to him baby on her hip. "I want to know why you were taking pictures of the kids playing," she shouted loud enough for everyone in the playground (adults and children) to stop what they were doing and look over at him. He mumbled "No, no I didn't," and then showed her the pictures on his camera, " I was taking photos of the lake," he said.
"Well that's all right then," she screeched at him and stomped off.

I felt so sorry for the poor guy. About 15 minutes later he walked back past the playground (have to pass it to get out the park) and everyone turned and looked him suspiciously. People already thinking "Paedo" and he hadn't done anything but take photos in the park. Why couldn't she have talked to him quietly if she was concerned instead of making a holy show out of the poor bloke. Mind you she looked the type to court drama so no surprise really.

OP posts:

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 03/06/2011 20:50

If he had been taking pictures of children, would you feel the same way?


ohmyfucksy · 03/06/2011 20:51

Haha I bet she felt like a massive dick afterwards


ElizabethDarcy · 03/06/2011 20:52

I am with you o this one.... totally OTT behaviour from her. Goodness me.


activate · 03/06/2011 20:52

I would

he could be a friend, uncle, dad, photographer

why think paedo? it's totally and utterly ridiculous


TheFeministsWife · 03/06/2011 20:53

SmellsLikeTeenStrop Yes I would have felt the same way, it's a public place there's no law against it. The children were all fully clothed.

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squeakytoy · 03/06/2011 20:54

Even if he had been taking photos of the kids playing.. so what.. it isnt illegal. Photos of kids having fun are some of the most natural candid shots you can get.


destructogirl · 03/06/2011 21:02

I clicked on this thinking it was another one of those breastfeeding threads Grin


chirpchirp · 03/06/2011 21:09

My MIL was showing me photos the other night of the most beautiful, natural photos of DH and one of his friends playing cops and robbers when they were about 6 years old. They were taken by a photography student who lived in the area years ago. It makes me a little sad that the first conclusions people jump to is paedo. It also makes me sad that I can't just take my camera to the swimming pool to capture my DS's having fun splashing around without needing to get written permission first.


noid · 03/06/2011 21:11

"think really loud obnoxious scouse accent" Hmm

Don't think people can help the way they sound in general.


MoreBeta · 03/06/2011 21:21

As a parent obviously I would be unhappy if a random person were taking close up photos of my children - which this man was not.

As a man I avoid any interaction whatsoever with children where I don't personally know their parents. The reason I do this is people like this woman.


TheFeministsWife · 03/06/2011 21:21

noid I have a very thick scouse accent, but I don't sound loud and obnoxious. Well except when I'm shouting at the kids. Grin

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PacificDogwood · 03/06/2011 21:29

That is really sad and upsetting in so many ways.
Is every adult/man a child abuser until proven otherwise??
That woman had ishoos, I'd imagine.

I still remember a case a few years ago when a ?2 year old child had run away, was seen wandering the street on their own by some man who was too scared to approach her/him (cannot remember the details) for fear of being accused of trying to abduct her/him (or worse, of course), so did nothing. The toddler was later found drowned in some pond of other Sad.

I just refuse to live in fear as my default setting. Yes, I want my children to have street sense, not go with strangers etc etc. But this kind of paranoia just goes too far IMO.
I know a family where dad only goes in the bath with his (toddler) DCs with his swimming trunks on - madness!

And let's all remember the most abusers are people close to the victim, and NOT random strangers.


activate · 03/06/2011 21:34

As a parent I would not be unhappy with anyone taking photos of my children in a public place not that anyone would want to take photos of the hulking great spotty greasy lumps of older two - but the younger two are still quite cute


georgie22 · 03/06/2011 21:39

That's really sad - poor guy. I also think it's sad when men like MoreBeta say that they avoid children they don't know because of fear of being seen as suspicious. My dh says he would be very reluctant to go to a lost child for the same reason. An older man came to look at dd sitting in her pram in the supermarket yesterday and was chatting to her. He felt the need to tell me not to worry he 'wasn't funny like that'. I can understand we all need to be vigilant with regard to our children's safety but surely it's been taken too far.


TheFeministsWife · 03/06/2011 21:46

It is sad than men feel they have to avoid children they don't know, or help lost children. Sad A few years ago my dad was in Tesco when he came across a little girl of around 4 crying and saying mummy, mummy. He didn't feel he could approach her to see if he could help, he went and found the nearest woman and asked her if she could help the child.

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fairydoll · 03/06/2011 21:46

activate-you might not like it but there's nothing you could do about it.


activate · 03/06/2011 21:53

fairydoll you misread me - I said NOT UNHAPPY - I was responding to the earlier post saying they wouldn't like it

I love taking photos and understand the impulse to photograph children playing


2gorgeousboys · 03/06/2011 22:00

When we were in the Lakes at Easter we visited a minor tourist attraction and various children were climbing the stones, running around etc. A Japanese couple were taking pictures of the scenery and also of various children having a fab time enjoying themselves. I did not mind at all but a mum was getting very stressed telling her husband to stop them taking photos of their DS and at one point she even said "if they want to take pictures of him they should be paying us".

Agree with those posters who have said that we are taking vigilence too far!


PacificDogwood · 03/06/2011 22:00

The madness of not allowing photography in soft play areas etc, such a shame asprimary colours are a great backdrop.
I don't have an issue with my DCs randomly appearing on other people's photos of their own children.
I have been to one birthday party where the hosting mother got all other parents to sign a consent form to 'allow' her to take photos of the clown, the kids and the birthday cake, ffs!


oohlaalaa · 03/06/2011 22:02

That's awful. YANBU


OTheHugeManatee · 03/06/2011 22:04

The story is nuts. Since when did half the population of this planet fall permanently under suspicion of being sexual predators?

YABU for 'loud, obnoxious scouse accent' though Hmm


Indaba · 03/06/2011 22:06

YANBU.......some people are clearly nuts/paranoid/read too much Daily Mail.

Why live in fear?


Indaba · 03/06/2011 22:07

And another thing....remember the BA guidance of not allowing single male travellers being allowed to sit next to children they were not travelling with.......some people are clearly nuts!


TheFeministsWife · 03/06/2011 22:26

OTheHugeManatee See my post of 21:21:58

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