to think that if you say, in a flimsy and ineffectual way, 'sweetie, darling, that's not very nice...'

[OhBuggerandArse]

...it's not bloody surprising if your child takes absolutely no notice of you and carries on throwing grit in other kids faces/walloping them/making nasty faces at them/pushing and shoving, day after day after day?

What on earth do people think is wrong with 'Oi, NO!' in a believeable voice?

(Fully acknowledge that somewhere else on the internet, maybe even here, somebody is probably writing AIBU to think that OhBugger is a horrible shouty mummy?)

OhBuggerandArse, "calm and collected" is exactly how i've been described by friends when it comes to various things - but if i had a pound for every time I wanted to shout "oh ffs, stop it"

What stopped me was seeing how that poor "interaction" worked when GPs babysitting - there's nothing like learning from seeing how it "isn't" working to show you that there needs to be another tactic!

i always go in with a bit of "sweetie darling"
but it is followed with a calm promise from the situation if they don't stop, a threat upon which i do follow through

surely that's better than my mate, who is full of "Oi, no!", but this amounts to the square root of bugger all, while her DSs blindly ignore her, and carry on biffing other kids?

nah pregnantpause if they're nearly 3, hit your child and their parents do nothing I would tell them off - calmly of course

The ones I am thinking of have kids who are four. Out of order, I reckon, whatever one's parenting style.

These situations remind me of that old Far Side card with "what we say to dogs" and "what dogs hear" - "blah blah blah blah blah Fido blah blah blah".

I've got no idea whether my approach is the right one, but a few firm words certainly works better than sweetie darling and long explanations, ime.

I was recently in a cafe with a mum of the sweetie darling persuasion. We had 5 children between us (1 each of our own, plus 3 belonging to others), all aged 5. I made my 2 charges sit on their chairs and eat. The other 3 were running around the cafe, getting in the way of staff etc. The other mum tried persuading them gently to stop - they almost laughed in her face. The other child with me wanted to run too "because the others were" - I told her "I don't care what they are doing, I'm asking YOU to sit nicely please." She got the message loud and clear.

Why pussyfoot around? I don't get how that would ever work?