AIBU or is painting children's finger & toenails....

[buxomwenchonapony]

... just harmless fun?

or

Is it just the beginning of the lifelong quest for beauty, the first idea that she is 'better' when she is painted or plucked or tanned or in some way adorned.

Only I've just painted dd1's toenails (she's 4). She asked for blue toenails with pink spots and I obliged, that's ok, isn't it? Or will i be taking her for spray tans and eyelash extensions next?

I expect this topic has been done to death previously. I'm new though, humour me?!

I think it is fine if the child asks for it. But not fine if you suggest that they should do it, or need it to look good. Or only allow it for girls.

Mind you, I never do mine because I am far too lazy

YANBU AT ALL!!! my 5 yr old loves having her toes painted like mummy and in school hols gets her fingernails painted too!!!

even my son who is now 11 used to want his toes painted cos mummy was doing hers and i obliged - even going all out with a male friend cos he said it was wrong on a boy (grrrrrrrrrrr)

my mum pissed off and left me when i was 3 so at the grand old age of 35 i still do my make up like i did when i was 15, have no idea how to accessorise outfits or do my hair up and pretty and probably look a right nob - what i would have given to have someone show me girly stuff and to plait my hair and go clothes shopping etc..... with!!!!

and no YANBU to want pink with blue spots - sounds fab!!!!!

Nail varnish is a bit of fun, NOT a necessary or expected beauty procedure for women.

I think people run the risk of placing far more importance on beauty products than they deserve by making them something their daughters will do when they're older.

My 5yo got a Barbie make-up set for her birthday.
My initial reaction was one of horror.
Then I rationalised; the set was decorated with kittens and butterflies, not unrealistically beautiful models - it was aimed at young children. I already let my daughter play princesses and mermaids and fairies, and this make-up falls into that category I think - with the polyester ballgowns and the jewelled wands and the clip-clop shoes. NOT to be taken seriously - just fantasy play. She and her 3yo brother spent a week looking like clowns who had been in a punch-up and then the dregs got thrown away. I feel that to have confiscated it or kept it for when she was older would have been to make it more alluring and important.

Similarly, when she asks me why I sometimes wear make-up, my answer is "for fun".

My DD is 19 months and has already detroyed both of my favourite makeup sets! If I leave them out it's the first thing she goes for! I guess she has just seen me do it and wants to copy but hell, it makes a mess. She was covered in purple eyeshadow the other day.
Whilst I wouldn't leave the things out on purpose or enourage it per se (I am not much of a girly girl myself) I think it's a growing up stage.
However putting makeup on a child I really dislike (I have seen tv programmes where mums take their 7 year olds shopping and but them this sort of thing, not the kids stuff but the real stuff) and I don't like pierced ears on children. I just thing they should be natural for as long as possible because there will be so much of that to come when they are older.

I found it to be a useful bribe - DD hates having her toenails cut so I promised her I'd paint them if she let me

Well said SpringchickenGoldBrass - the voice of commonsense.

I think that nail varnish is OK so long as it falls into the every now and then and just for play/fun category. This is just how I set the rules in my household though, what other people do is up to them. So dd / ds got to have silly colours every now and then when they were small and I was in the mood. Now they are pre-teens ds isn't interested (he is generally fairly oblivious to how he looks) and dd does hers when she is having a 'spa day' with her friends (mutually applied). My only issue is that whilst it might look OK when just applied within a day or two it looks terrible.

As a feminist I only have a problem with make up when girls/women feel they must wear it to feel acceptable. As for form of self expression I think it can be quite interesting, but I don't think that is how most people where make up. But I might feel this way because my formative years were heavily influenced by the New Romantic / Goth look where both sexes wore make up and it was a personalised dramatic look more akin to stage make up.

Nooka: I'm with you on the 'make up as fun' thing; I'm even older than you and grew up with glam rock and men in glitter eyeshadow when I was a kid and new romantic/goth/hair metal in my teens and early 20s, so I still love men iin eyeliner think that make up as fun is great. But I never had time for the 'natural look'. I do sometimes wear foundation now to look like I'm not wearing any, but that's got more to do with having rosacea and wanting to minimize it because I get sick of comments.
My DS is 6 and interested in make up, I won't let him share mine beause of hygiene issues (and not wanting my stuff trashed eiyher) but I do paint his nails for him when he askss.

I'm not sure DD even knows what make up is tbh - I never wear any.

Couldn't care less about nail varnish on kids, each to their own..
Just wanted to say crapbag love your name!

Oh and do they still sell that peel off nail varnish you used to get for kids? I used to buy it with my pocket money, came in cool colours and you could just peel it off a bit like pva glue.

peel off varnish

I do hate it when the varnish is on for 6 months, at school etc.

I paint DS's sparkly sometimes if he asks.

It may be harmless fun and I do most definitely NOT agree that it sexualises them, but I find nail varnish on children to be really annoying. It's like 'Friends' and chick flick films, harmless but irritating. A certain type of twee girliness that annoys. It's an indulgence on the part of the mothers who should know better, to be honest.

Is it an indulgence on my part when dd asks me to plait her hair as well hayjon? The fact that you allow yourself to be 'annoyed' by the colour of other peoples kids nails is a bit weird imo.

Hair plaiting is OK, painting a child's nails is so very, very 'mini-me'.

And stop twisting it, it's not about the children's nails-the child cannot be held responsible for its mother's self-indulgence.

Harmless fun. I only have boys but they both like having their toenails painted if I'm doing mine... for now. Wouldn't do fingers as they'd probably chew it, or bits would chip off into food.

all three of mine (6, 4 and 2) have had theirs nails done a few times (two boys and a girl) and i think it's lovely that something so simple can entertain them so much. They're all partial to a bit of 'lip balm' (vaseline usually!) too

dd is 6 and rarely comes home from her best friend's house without some part of her anatomy coloured a different colour than when she left. Her poor bf's big sister has to hide her makeup when they're around!

I think if I was going to be 'indulgent' I'd go and get a manicure for myself personally. And I hardly think it's self indulgence if your child asks you to paint their nails it's just called not being a miserable old trout for no reason having fun!

I've painted my own nails twice in the last 2.5 years so definitely no 'mini-me' thing going on! dd has a few varnishes of her own that people gave her as presents.

Getting a manicure for yourself would be better, imo. Having a million manicures is better. It's just off to paint children's nails (hair plaiting is different as hair plaiting is for people of all ages), the stuff is meant for adults, not children and god knows what crap is in it.

Well dd's fingers haven't fallen off yet so nothing too corrosive

And I don't think dd would get as much fun from me having a manicure somehow.