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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

12.30 am on a maternity ward

84 replies

Justfeckingdoit · 03/06/2011 00:43

Girl opposite is on her mobile loudly about some utterly random shit.

She is keeping everyone awake.

Aibu to be the ward hero and tell her to shut up, Or do I keep quiet and fume like everyone else is?

OP posts:

unspoilmykid · 03/06/2011 08:51

puss that sounds like my hospital. I had 2 meals in 6 days.

Fleurdebleurgh · 03/06/2011 08:54

For £280 i got slightly nicer curtains than the ones on the main ward.

youarekidding · 03/06/2011 09:53

Congratulations.

Can't really add a rage at maternity wards as DS born abroad and it was like something out of the 1950's.

I did though find it hard that men weren't allowed in the labour ward and as I had an ECS he dad didn't find out he was born until after he was as they couldn't find him apparently - where he told to wait.

I too had standard not electric bed but that was as I was 24 flat backed and they didn't want me to be tempted - they switched it when I kicked up a fuss after 24 hours was allowed to move again.

My room was 3 bed with ensuite and balcony and curtains if needed but visiting hours limited and MW who insisted on taking baby so did manage to get some sleep - as much as one can when they are uncomfy and can't move.

TheCrackFox · 03/06/2011 10:05

Congratulations

It is very often the after"care" that ruins most new mum's birthing experience. Noisy wards, being woken for breakfast at 6.30am (after only getting to sleep at 5am), not having time to eat breakfast because or crying baby and then finding brakfast has been removed uneaten,, cup of tea rationed to twice a day and then served in a thimble, the MW's gossiping all night. Pure hell.

marzipananimal · 03/06/2011 10:11

agree Crack Fox. For me, antenatal care was great, labour ward was great, community midwives once I got home were great, post-natal ward was crap. Really hope I can have a home birth next time.

I guess nothing will ever be done about it though - too expensive.

PigWhisperer · 03/06/2011 10:34

Congratulations! I was looking at your other thread about waiting for an induction and suddenly you were off! Good to know it all went well.

midori1999 · 03/06/2011 10:46

Gosh, reading this has made me really appreciate my booked hospital. (and in fact, those I have given birth in before!)

They try and put everyone in siderooms, which are not charged for. Rooms have a sink and changing station in each one with plenty of towels, blankets etc for baby so you can help yourself. New looking en suite shower rooms. Even the wards are only 4 bedded, with a changing station/sink per bed and 2 showers and 2 seperate toilets per ward. All 'proper' TV's as opposed to those Patientline things. Plus they have a breakfast room where you can get your own breakfast and 24 hour snacks of fruit, youghurt, fruit juice, fruit or toast, plus tea and coffee.

I am going to really make the absolute most of it now!

frazzle26 · 03/06/2011 12:39

I feel so sorry for you all. I was in a private room when I had my son and slept quite well. I don't mean to sound like I'm boasting or anything, I just know how lucky I was as I realise it was just luck of the draw that there was one available. When I visited my friend in a 4 bed ward I couldn't believe the lack of space or privacy.

Quenelle · 03/06/2011 12:53

Congratulations. Hope you managed to get some sleep.

Although I'm surprised you could hear the woman over the staff yelling at each other up and down the corridors, like it's frigging 11am instead of 1am. DS slept until 5am. I hadn't slept for two days and it should have been my last half-decent night's sleep for possibly several years. I hardly slept at all.

Quenelle · 03/06/2011 12:53

I was in a private room too frazzled. It made no difference.

LaWeasel · 03/06/2011 12:59

The only thing I had to moan about with DD was other babies crying (which I can hardly moan about!) and they tactically ignored DH sleeping on the floor because we had no car and he couldn't get home. He was so knackered he really did just sleep though.

I am looking forward to my home birth all the same.

Hope you're recovering well JustFeckingDoIt!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 03/06/2011 13:22

Midori - your hospital sounds like it ought to be held up as a shining example to all the other maternity units on this thread. Would you feel happy 'Naming and praising' here?

missmakesstuff · 03/06/2011 13:30

Congratulations, your dd sounds lovely, make sure you just keep your mind on getting home, it was the only thing that kept me going. And moan about that bed - it's awful you don't have one that is electric, I kept dd on me most of the time in the end, just couldn't move at all, not having a wooshy bed would have done me in.

I hated being on the ward - 48 hrs after CS due to her being breech, with my lovely birthing pool set up at home, I was miserable - it was noisy, hotter than hell, I was sent to have a shower after 24 hrs, left in said shower to pass out from lack of sleep and hideous cs pain, told by a stupid old cow midwife that I shouldn't be using a tens (for back pain, after laying flat for 24hrs) once up and about because 'our c section ladies don't use tens' and was royally pissed off by the time I left by all the proding, poking, and bruising from the bloody canular they refused to take out. They tried to get me to stay another night as they were worried I was a bit anaemic - I told them if they didn't discharge me that moment I would be shuffling down the corridor, pushing DD in her crib making a break for it as as fast as my bestockinged feet would carry me. (they would have caught me, but I think it was the mad staring that made them think it might be a good idea to send me home before I totally lost it). I am desperate to have a homebirth next time if I can.

HOWEVER..it is only a few hours days out of your life and the joy when you get home to a proper cup of tea and a comfy bed where you can cuddle your baby and just stare at them for hours is just bliss. Enjoy!

missmakesstuff · 03/06/2011 13:32

Midori, that sounds amazing! where are you? (packing bags to move there now!!)

PumpkinBones · 03/06/2011 13:40

I hated the postnatal ward, especially the second time round. I don't mind snoring or crying babies, but being woken for random reasons, not being given food and the BUZZERS going ALL NIGHT LONG (who the fuck was pushing them?! Everyone was lying in bed going batshit with exhaustion!) is not the ideal post-birth environment. I had CS's both times, one em, one elec, second time I begged them to discharge me after 36 hours and they relented at 48.

My friend had a straightoforward delivery but her and the baby had a post birth infection and were in a few days - her baby was crying in the night, she attended to and was trying to soothe her, and another mum had a hysterical fit that this crying baby was keeping her awake, including throwing herself on the floor - they moved my friend to another ward to appease this woman!

BooyHoo · 03/06/2011 14:22

midori i have a sneaking suspicion yours is the same maternity hospital as i had. i got a side room both times and i really really appreciated it. it was so good just having teh privacy to sleep or get changed or get flustered with teh baby!

shirleyshortcut · 03/06/2011 14:39

there was a lady in the next bed to me who when her baby woke in the middle of the night, gave a full running commentary of what she was doing (to the baby) at full volume

ive never felt so murderous

confuddledDOTcom · 03/06/2011 14:48

Much sympathy and congratulations!

I was admitted last Friday having tightenings and was 1cm. All night the woman next to me squealed and chanted in her own language, between she was chatting loudly to her husband next to her! Half way through the night she begged the midwife to tell her this was as bad as it gets and was told "this is nothing, you're only having Braxton Hicks!"

The other night we were subjected to that ring in quiz programme until 2am as the woman opposite was using her headphones as speakers. At 2am she woke up irritated at it and turned it off.

Fortunately as my baby is downstairs they thought it would be mean to put me in a bay so I have a private room.

cherrypez · 03/06/2011 22:01

confuddled, is your baby in SCBU? my dd went there after EMCS, and the midwife present at delivery told the ward manager through gritted teeth ''this lady's baby is in special care, there is no way she is going to the ward!'', and i got a side room. I was so grateful I couldnt speak I was that choked up.

hester · 03/06/2011 22:11

Postnatal wards really are the ninth circles of hell. Sympathies to you, OP, and congratulations on your beautiful baby.

smokeyandthebanjo · 03/06/2011 22:19

Congratulations on your DD!

YANBU.

After one night on the maternity ward with DD1 before going home I saved up money for the birth of our hypothetical second DC so I could have a private room instead of being on the ward.

I had a c-section that time so was in for 2 nights rather than one. It was £80 a night, but in the end they didn't charge us for the room as the ward was so busy I would have ended up in a private room anyway.

It was bliss, private en suite and everything, no bugger disturbing me except for cluster feeding dd.

Start saving now if you want any more dc!

camtt · 03/06/2011 22:36

I can still not stop wondering why that bed had to be noisily made up at 2am when no-one needed to come into it until midday next day

DiscoDaisy · 03/06/2011 22:42

For no 3 and 4 of my 5 DC I had a 6 hour discharge purely because it was quieter at home. For my 5th I was convinced to stay in overnight because I hadn't given birth to him until 3.50pm. It was the worst decision I ever made. It would have been far more peaceful at home with an 8yr old, 4 yr old, 2.5 yr old and 13 mth old!

EmmaBemma · 03/06/2011 22:45

I think I must be a special sort of nutter because I didn't mind being on the postnatal ward either time I gave birth. The first time, I was in for two nights as I felt I needed all the help I could get - I had never even changed a nappy before. The second time I was in for a week because my little girl was ill. It was awful being on my own whilst she was in SCBU but I was just so happy to have her back with me for the last two nights that I didn't really care about where we were. I think postnatal wards are generally quite happy optimistic places, all those new little lives and doting families. Plus I was sort of glad of the break from my toddler - doing nothing but feeding and eating flapjacks for hours on end.

I was a determined curtain-puller-shutter though, despite the midwives' best efforts.

oldraver · 03/06/2011 22:59

I was in for 5 weeks with DS1 and 2 weeks with DS2 and the care was fantastic but being stuck in a 6ft x 8ft space was stifling, I've got bathrooms bigger

And the TV's, the bloody Patientline things that selfish twats other patientys would have on full blast then bugger off and leave them on. The woman opposite had a husband who had to watch all the soaps drove me mad

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