to ask my 'lodger' to pay some rent?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

A friend 'moved in' to our spare room a while back, as he had lost his job in london and had been sharing a room and had enough. We said he could stay here temporarily while he looked for work and a place.

Since then DH has got stuck abroad in his home country (long story involving passport renewal) and the lodger is still here. Don't get me wrong, he has been a massive help with DH away, he's very clean and tidy, does the washing up, cooks for me, has helped with childcare. A treasure. However he's now working casual shifts and isn't here much, so less helping out. So AIBU to ask him to contribute a bit of rent? I'm thinking £50 a week when he's able. I don't want him to move out as he's really very nice and helpful, but he uses water and electric and I also planned to use the spare room for foreign students, which would have been an income.

Um, yes of course he should pay rent! How great would it be to get free accommodation, but seriously, he is an adult, not even a member of your family, living in your home and working!

Be wary of a lodger helping you out in your own home. Its mixing business with the personal domestic and should generally be avoided, never mind how convenient it is. Draw up some kind of formal agreement, listing what he gets and what he pays, to avoid a complete mess if something goes wrong!

He should pay rent and something towards bills.

:) Thanks
He's not really a lodger, he's a friend of DH's. He has always known that it wasn't long term but now he's here I'm happy for him to stay as long as he enhances our lives (harsh, but I don't want to share my house for no benefit)
Up til now he has helped in non financial ways. But I'm right to ask for financial help if he's working aren't I?

The other thing is that we are 12 miles away from the town where we all work which means lots of travelling for him. He might want to get somewhere central. But that's his lookout - we would still be cheaper than a city centre room :)

How long has he been staying with you?

I would just be brutally honest and say you need the money that renting the room to foreign students would bring you (have you done this before?). I should think he'll be a little embarrassed about taking the p and either offer you a bit of money or move out.

definatly a little contribution would do no harm at all! i cant believe since he has been working he hasnt offered to do a grocery sub or something?

I think £50 a week is a reasonable amount at the end of the day your helping your dh friend out. He is using your electric, water, etc so yes he should pay. If he doesnt like it let him move out.

He has contributed towards groceries. He really hasn't been taking the P, he's covered DH's work and had DS all day more than once while I've been at work, he's a good lad. But he's working now, so that's fair :)

He's been here for two months. He has struggled to find work as his english isn't great.

Definately ask for a contribution now he's getting work. Although tbh if he was a good friend he should offer something really.

My DP's cousin lost her job just before christmas 2008 and went to visit their granny for a month until she "figured out what to do next." Must be reeeeaaaalllly indecisive coz she's bloody still there. Still not paying a penny towards bills, food, anything. And DP's granny isn't the confrontational sort so wont/can't ask her, so struggles with all the bills herself.

Hopefully your friend isn't such a leech.

I text him and he said 'of course' :)

Well, good for both of you if you found a solution that suits you both. This is the best way to go forward.
Personally, I would never charge a friend of mine or my dh, especially if he was already helping around and contributing to food shopping, but everyone is different.

Brilliant...he sounds very nice.

We're quite hard up, and he's using amenities, we have a water meter, gas and electric, I drop him at work sometimes, I could be using the room to make some extra cash if he wasn't in it, and he still has the opportunity to save some good money. You really wouldn't ask for a contribution?

Aww, how nice to click on a thread like this and find it's all sorted without a problem!

Who said they wouldn't ask for a contribution?

I didn't say...but of course I agree he should contribute...and £50 for now sounds more than reasonable. Sounds like you have an arrangement that works for both of you.

See AIBU can give you the sense that every third person is a complete nutcase :) It's nice when people are normal!