to think that if you are going to start a thread about spanking or swinging you should have the COMMON DECENCY...
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 02/06/2011 22:19
not to start it till my DS is in bed so I can get stuck straight in without having to wade through 15 pages....
As you were.
Finallyspring · 02/06/2011 22:47
Thank you OP. I just popped out for a couple of hours and missed the first 11 pages. I really can't be bothered to read them all so am going to add my piece here. Probably bad thread etiquette but whatever.
Spanking / BDSM types LOVE it when you say they are mentalists/should be ashamed etc. They can go on about how not repressed they are and how excitingly liberated they are and how nobody can dictate what people do in the bedroom blah blah yawn
I find the whole thing boringly mainstream tbh you can buy the costume and equipment in any high street Ann summers and see it all acted out in any pop video
of course you can do what you like in bed. This is 21st century Europe. It's just that I associate sex with easy pleasure. I don't need complicated associations with pain and punishment. Maybe because I think sex is a pretty normal thing to do. Nobody ever told me it was dirty or shameful. Making sex dark and painful seems like something you would do if you are a bit mixed up about it and it doesn't make it ok if it's a man doing it to a woman or whatever. It's a bit like racist/ sexist jokes. I don't want to ban them but no it is not harmless fun. Like s and m sex it's a sign that some people are still mixed up.
Finallyspring · 02/06/2011 22:53
And mixed up is not the way to go people ! Hitting your partner for ' fun' or ' pleasure' or whatever is not just a harmless game. It perpetuates the whole idea that sex is indeed perverse and painful. The French call it the English vice. Be liberated. Have sex purely for pleasure and without shame.
Bigpants1 · 03/06/2011 01:21
"And mixed up is not the way to go people!"
No, and neither is saying Sex should be this way and no other. I am not mixed up re my sexuality or the act of sex.
Until recently, I thought spanking was a bit "kinky", but each to their own. But, my dh and I "spank" eachother sometimes now when intimate. We dont dress up, use whips, put eachother across our knees,(noooo, not for me), but a slap on the buttocks.
I dont consider myself subserviant to men, I dont think I am saying that violence against women or men for that matter, is justified.
No, what I think, in er, "the throes of passion", is this feels good, I like it, please do it."
There is nothing dark or sinister re my sex life, and I dont need to see a Councellor,(sp).
I also participate in bottom sex sometimes-there is really no hope for me, is there! (Apologies, probably far TMI!)
SunshineisSorry · 03/06/2011 10:45
Finally, let me take issue with your post. I suppose i might be one of those BDSM types, but i find the whole costume side of it naff and tend to agree with you, it is a bit boring and mainstream, like trying too hard to be naughty.
I'm not sexually repressed, its fun and escapism, i like it, its all good
NulliusInVerba · 03/06/2011 12:33
The fact is sex isnt going to be "normal" as you say anymore.
Thanks to the invention of contraception and women having the freedom to have more than one partner in life, sex is no longer what we do to make babies, people have turned it into a hobby.
So all this spanking etc is part of their hobby, its a thing to "experience" rather than to "do".
Also part of the commercialisation of fucking everything.
Chen23 · 03/06/2011 12:38
"The fact is sex isnt going to be "normal" as you say anymore.
Thanks to the invention of contraception and women having the freedom to have more than one partner in life, sex is no longer what we do to make babies, people have turned it into a hobby."
With respect you sound pretty dull and a teensy bit repressed
I'm pretty sure that people having sex for enjoyment waaaaaaay predates contraception and the 'sexual revolution'
Sounds to me like you're looking back whistfully to the days when sex was (outwardly at least) considered to be purely a precursor to making babies, when in fact I'm pretty sure sex has been a 'hobby' for human beings for many thousands of years.
sunshineandbooks · 03/06/2011 12:47
Chen, I'd say for men, certainly. Less so for women. Undoubtedly there were many women who enjoyed sex before the advent of contraception, but there were many, many more whose sexual experiences could be summed up with words such as rape, back-to-back pregnancies, and forced infanticide.
Sex has always had far greater consequences for women than for men. That's only changed comparatively recently, and even in today's society women who have sex with many partners are judged far harsher than men who do the same.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.