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Photos of ex

12 replies

Fridaysgirl · 02/06/2011 13:07

Right- please tell me if you think I'm being overly sensitive.
My husband was engaged several years ago to another girl- she introduced her best friend to his and hey-presto they got on really well and became a serious couple. The four of them went on lots of holidays together and had some good times. I believe it was all a bit difficult for this couple when DH and ex split up and this couple have since got married.
I met DH several months later after his split. We met and married fairly quickly and have had three children. The other couple have always been very friendly to me and we have become good friends and we visit their house frequently. They have loads of photos all over their house including some pretty couple-y ones of DH and his ex. It's always bothered me a bit, but I've tried to ignore my feelings.
But now my eldest is nearly 4 and they have an electronic photo frame in their living room which does occasionally flash up a particularly close photo of ex and DH. I don't particularly want my daughter to ask "Mummy, who's that lady sat on Daddy's knee?".
So.... Do I say something and be seen to be bothered by it, or just leave be and accept the inevitable question that will soon pop up.
I may add I think that this couple are being a bit tactless/thoughtless as opposed to being blatantly nasty. They don't have kids yet so I don't think it has occurred to them.
Honest comments welcome!

OP posts:

DuelingFanjo · 02/06/2011 13:08

just leave it.


lostinindia · 02/06/2011 13:09

Can't you just say 'it's Daddy's ex girlfriend' if he asks? Nothing complicated there.


TheOriginalFAB · 02/06/2011 13:10

Really, you can't tell another person to remove a photo from their house and all you need to say is that it is a friend of daddys if your child asks.


papermate · 02/06/2011 13:14

My other in law still has pictures of dh's ex fiancee in thier home, she hasn't seen her for 15 years, at first I put it down to them having a good relationship, now i take it personally! I would never say anything though, it's her issue, not mine. ( mil doesn't even know that ex is now married with 2 kids)


LunaticFringe · 02/06/2011 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuackQuackSqueak · 02/06/2011 13:22

hmmm it does seem a bit thoughtless. You would think they would change it to a single photo of him or him and them, and a seperate photo of her.

What does your DH say about it? Can he not just make a comment one day like "blimey (is he cockney?!) I can't believe you still have that photo up!"

He could also say that it is going to confuse the children? I think it is up to him to say though . . .unless you made an innocent comment next time you were there like "my dc was asking who that was (nodding towards picture) last time we were here". Maybe they would get the hint?


coccyx · 02/06/2011 13:23

Their house ,their friends and i think a simple answer of dads friend is ok.


bupcakesandcunting · 02/06/2011 13:32

If DD asks, say " I have no idea who it is. It looks like Les Dawson. You didn't tell me you'd met Les Dawson, DH!"


PunkPixie · 02/06/2011 15:20

TBH I think this more about how you feel about the photos than how the photos affect DD

My DH has photos kicking about of him and some of his exes from fun times he had years ago. It doesn't bother me because they're his EXES. It's illogocal to be jealous of the past unless it's a part of the present. And by that I don't mean a few pics here and there from years ago.

What others have suggested about saying dady's old friend is fine.


Hammy02 · 02/06/2011 15:27

I have a load of photos of exes. They're a part of my past and I will never throw them away. However, they are in boxes and are put away. I would never display one of these photos. I wouldn't do that to my DP. How inconsiderate & unkind. I have also taken photos down from the wall of friend's exes. I wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable in my home.


worraliberty · 02/06/2011 15:31

Their house, their rules but I must say I'm surprised your DH hasn't had a word in their shell like. Mine would be very uncomfortable I think.


iamkirsty · 02/06/2011 16:41

I second bupcakes Grin

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