to bevery disappointed that only 63% of women can DRIVE!! ffs

[JunoWatt]

its like saudi arabia here
ONLY JUST OVER HALF OF US! GET A LICENCE LADIES

I have a driving licence but dont drive. You cant drink every time you go out, makes you fat and unfit and when I do go to places needed to by vehicle I am the kind of girl born to be chauffeured

There are lots of reasons for not driving and not owning a car and maybe the world would be a better place if we all used public transport more. But, apart from being medically not allowed I can't think of a single reason for not being able to do it. I can completely see peoples point about the cost being a barrier

Kendodd there are loads of reasons.

I have 3 disabilities - Dyspraxia, Fibromyalgia and Joint Hypermobility Syndrome. Medically I am allowed to drive, the definitions of those banned from learning to drive are relatively narrow - they cover things like liklihood of having a fit/losing consciousness and effects of medications etc.

Now Dyspraxia means I cannot judge speed or distance accurately, I cannot distinguish left from right, there is no left - I have two right hands. I have significant difficulties with working memory (i.e. holding data in mind whilst manipulating it) and I also have significantly below average ability to block out distracting noises and an inability to concentrate. Medically this does not mean I am not allowed to drive - if I reapplied for my provisional licence the DVLA would issue me with one and allow me behind the wheel of a car.

I have judged myself unfit to drive.

In 9 driving lessons I almost killed 6 people, 3 pedestrians, myself, the driving instructor and the driver of a lorry I almost had a head on collision with - I was looking at the lorry but didn't 'see' it. I slid the car down a hill, ran the car in to a garden and I never once managed to start the car myself - every time the driving instuctor had to release the hand brake for me. My muscles are weak due to the Dspraxia and Hypermobility, also my elbows are weak due to the latter as they bend both ways.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition, I was learning to drive in my late teens before I had it to the extent I now do - driving was excruciatingly painful. I struggled with the pedals as my ankles and extrememly hypermobile and roll around - I kept losing them and slamming the gas pedal instead of the brakes etc.

In addition to this I have a fear of driving, as many people do. One of my best friends died in a car crash a few hours after passing his driving test. When I tried to drive the above problems were terrifying, my instructor was constantly shouting abuse at me, reducing me to tears every lesson. He thought I was being wilfully disobedient when I drove on the wrong side of the road without realising, or when I turned right instead of left etc. Being a passenger in a car makes me nervous now, let alone being behind the wheel. The thought brings me out in to a cold sweat. My driving instructor used to tell me to get my 'fucking head tested', he also called me a 'retard'.

So there's 2 reasons I don't drive. My other reasons;

• DP can drive, we do not own a car, far too expensive, once he is 25 in a few years and won't have to spend a fortune on insurance we will probably consider getting one

• We live in London. There is simply no need for a car. I can get a tube, bus, train or tram anywhere I want. DP can also bike places if he wants to (I can't ride a bike due to the Dyspraxia). We also have feet and legs.

• The countryside is still largely accessible to us, some places aren't but there are loads of National Trust properties near by and loads of places in Kent and Surrey we can easily visit by train

• We have 2 supermarkets less than a 4 minute walk away. A decent sized Sainsburys is about 10 mins max away and a Tesco 15 mins away. A very large Sainsburys is 2 tube stops away. We also order food online every 2-3 months to stock up on tins and jars etc. The rest we buy weekly and carry back in rucksacks and bags for life.

• My dyspraxia makes me hypersensitive to smell, petrol makes me vomit. I have to leave my Mum's car if she fills it with petrol and get back in once it's over. Even if I could drive and could afford a car there would be no point as I wouldn't be able to fill it up with petrol!

It is perfectly possible to manage without a car, or the ability to drive. I think there are lots of people driving who shouldn't be. I also think people like me who have had the sense to recognise that we shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car should be applauded, not ridiculed. We're not going to cause an accident if we don't drive and we're better for the environment.

For the people who are "baffled" and "can't understand" why some people don't even learn, can I just say that some of us just can't! I spent over 2k on lessons, had several prangs, changed instriuctors and failed 2 tests with 8 serious faults on the first one and 6 on the second.

I would like to thank all of the drivers on here who have helped to make me feel like even more of a freak for not being any good at it.

And yes, when did it become compulsory for everyone to drive? It is NOT essential, there are too many cars on the road and most drivers I know use the car to drive less than a mile. Don't get me started on young male drivers under 25 who drive like they're in a video game.

As for those drivers who fret about the car-less lives of us non drivers:

Heavy shopping- get it delivered
medical emergency- call an ambulance
Picking up big items- get it delivered/get a cab
Going somewhere on a whim- bus, foot, train.
Getting kids to school- walk

Society puts pressure on us to feel that we MUST drive, but we all managed fine 30 odd years ago when every other house might have ONE car between them all.

Sorry, but I am sick of years of being told I MUST drive. After tears, a near accident and 2k, my DH finally said "give yourself a break, you don't need to now we live here" and it felt like a weight had been lifted. I don't see why it's anyone else's business.

I passed my test 20 years ago... just getting to grips with the road! I AM pathetic! And it is CRAP being dependent on DP. But getting there, finally.

Nesta - I like to channel the immortal genius of the lovely Dr Sheldon Cooper (big Jim Parsons fan)

And I quote (couldn't find a clip of)

'I'm clearly too evolved for driving'

Oh I can drive just fine, very well in fact. I just can't pass my fucking test! Have stopped trying now because I can't afford to keep paying for it. So I do drive, but only when DH is in the car with me (learned the hard way after getting stopped by the police when I was on my own with the kids and they took the car off me - £200 to release the car and 3 points on my provisional licence) .

I haven't read all this thread, but I was talking to a young person recently. She told me the cost of lessons is around £25 a go, then you have to pass a multiple choice test, then take the test. All together it will cost her in the region of £3000.
I did all mine aons ago, it cost me 2.75 an hour for the lessons, then IIRC about a tenner for the test. The provisional licence was around £5. I am aware of inflation and petrol costs etc. But such a big hike is astounding.

The lessons in this village are £40 a go. I had 20 of the buggers. Then ran out of money, and I wasn't really quite ready to take the test anyway. And couldn't afford to take the theory, hazard perception and practical tests anyway. My partner can drive, but he only learnt when we moved out to the sticks three years ago - there was no need previously. It is a pain, but I don't feel it's somehow anti feminist not to be able to drive, quite honestly!

Kreecher - mine were £33 each in 2008 (area I lived at time had only 1 driving school so no option to go cheaper). My provisional cost £38. I think the theory test would cost around £60-80 and the actual test around £100-120.

My DP passed in 2005 and he had about 25 lessons and practised loads and loads with his Mum. He was lucky and got cheap lessons around £20 a pop. When my Mum passed she had 20 lessons, 1 actual driving test and that was it - passed. No practice lessons before with family or anything like that. It's changed a lot.

My best friend passed after several failed attempts, she also had to find another driving instructor as she didn't get on with the 1st. Neither of her parents drive so she had no-one to practice with, she had about 70-80 lessons at around £22 each! She also had to pay for the licence, the theory test and 3 driving tests. If her grandfather hadn't left her £1000 to help her get started with learning she'd have taken much longer than 2 years to get her licence as she needed her Saturday job money to pay the rent.

It is prohibitively expensive. (Also, in case anyone was wondering why it was the man in our house who learnt to drive when we went rural - I work in the village we live in, and he works 45 miles away - it isn't cos he is the man! )

I lived in Saudi for years, a million times better than cruddy crime strewn UK thanks. Now I live in Qatar and drive a fucking great big Hummer to protect me from the horrific women drivers. Yes generalising but allowed to in a country with a tiny population where I have probably crossed paths with most of it's drivers over the years. By the way dear, empowering women is one thing, you are something else entirely.

£3000 to learn to drive plus thousands on insurance. Its a suprise anyone under 25 can actually afford to drive. Add petrol and car costs etc on top of that. I cant see my brood driving. They are well used to walking and public transport and theres simply no need. One is at uni, one goes this year, one goes in 2 years. Number 4 is blind.
The uni ones will come out with thousands of pounds of debt. Driving will be an unaffordable luxury.

I couldn't have had the jobs I have had without being able to drive.

I wouldn't have had the amazing road trips when travelling either.
I couldn't bear to be beholden to other people for lifts (must be like being permanently 15) and I could never be totally reliant on overpriced & unreliable shitty British public transport.
Driving is total freedom. And bloody good fun too. Windows down, stereo blasting ......
My great aunt has just had to give up her license aged 93. She is distraught that she is no longer her own boss and says that without her car she might as well snuff it now.

I couldn't bear to be beholden to other people for lifts
It's how you look upon it. Because of my MS I had to give up driving. If I thought that every lift that I was offered and was given was something that made me beholden I would have been very :-)

Some people were very kind and made open offers which I sometimes took up. I would return the favours on other ways. Or maybe just have a good chat.
I now have a hand-control car (of which I am very proud :-) ). I can offer lifts to people and do not expect them to be beholden to me in any way........

I don't know where you live lubberlich but me and my multiple disabilities which prevent me from driving get on fine with public transport. And I feel very much like a woman in my 20s, not a 15 year old. Not that that would be an issue - when I was 15 I walked everywhere. No shame in that.

......I would have been very ........

If I were able to drive it would probably make life easier but I don't want to. I had a horrible experience the first time I got behind a wheel and it has left me terrified of being in control of a car and responsible for the safety of anyone in the car and pedestrians/other drivers etc.

Plus considering Dh's car insurance is already circa £2000 a year (because he's under 25 and male) we really can't afford to add to that yet. Especially not when I have so many pairs of shoes I want to buy...

Accepting that it is not at all necessary or even desirable for everybody to drive, is the male/female discrepancy not still quite interesting? Even if there is a difference in age groups...

Every time DP gets a new car (every three years) he suggests we split the budget and get two smaller cars - a convertible for him and a Renault Scénic über-dull Mummy car for me. And then we tot up what it would cost us, above and beyond the lease/insurance/petrol (which are met by his company) and the cost of the additional car parking space alone is so astounding that he shuts up (and moans about not having a convertible, but that's another issue!).

Having a car in a big city is just dreadful, really - it eats up time and money and driving is very stressful here. And there are so many other options - bus, metro, foot, bicycle and taxi, all instantly available - it makes no sense. I know plenty of families with no car.

Shiny - it's excessive. DP is also under 25 and male which is one of the main reasons he hasn't bought a car. We'd only use it occasionally at weekends to get to places too far to go by train so not worth the excessive insurance cost. BIL has recently turned 25 so he can afford to run a car but his insurance quotes were horrific before. DP at 22 was quoted £7000 a year to insure a bog standard small car. The cheapest quote was about £2500. It's obscene - his Mum only pays a couple of hundred quid a year. DP has been able to drive since he was 17, he used to drive his Mum's car regularly - he's not crashed the car once. Not even a bump or scrape.

I have loads of friends my age who in their late teens wrote off at least one car. One friend in 3-4 years of driving has had 2 car crashes one which wrote off her car. Yet she drives every day and my DP doesn't because he can't afford the insurance...

I have never driven, ever. Never wanted to. Doesn't bother me one bit. Nor should it bother anyone else. I walk a lot with my kids and they love getting buses and trains. It's a natural way of life for me. What a fucking cheek, ordering other woman about!

women

If I could find someone to pay for my lessons I would quite happily learn but here lessons are £27 an hour and when that accounts for half my weekly food shop I am not willing to learn because someone else thinkks I should!

FWIW I have had 27 lessons and was geting to grips with it but it's not something that has ever bothered me as again like others even if I could drive, at 24 I could'nt afford insurance, petrol, road tax etc etc so what's the point?

DP also does not drive and it only occassionally bothers us.

Riven - I am with you on the earn-your-own-lessons stance. DBs and I all learned to drive and passed our tests shortly before leaving uni - by working through holidays to pay for lessons - and that was the point at which we really needed to drive - to keep employment options open - owning a car at uni would have been ruinously expensive and a lot more hassle than it was worth.

Ds1's university bans cars fromnstudents who live on campus. Senisble i reckon.