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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to homeschool my son for the forseeable future

44 replies

chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:32

God, I typed out a long post but it was so boring with so much detail that I've deleted it and have to tried to be more succinct.

The upshot is we are moving into rented accommodation until we find somewhere to buy (our purchase fell through but we've still decided to sell our home for a number of reasons).

We don't actually know which area we will finally end up living (although it's limited to a 15 mile radius of DH workplace) since we will look at houses that meet our spec and assess the suitability of the move based on a number of things including the area,schools, commute to workplace etc...

My DS1 is in year one and he is finishing up the school year but we may not have bought by September so I just figured it would be best to home-school him until we actually make a permanent move.

Problem is, I don't actually know when that will be and it could run into next spring even (although I hope not).

Do you think I should homeschool him in order to prevent the disruption of putting him into another school for what could be a short time (but could be up to a whole year) or should I enroll him in the closest school and let him make some new friends and just hope that potentially attending two schools next academic year won't be too hard on him.

I know people will say you know your own child and I do; he is very clever and loves school and does very well. He is also very sociable and loves physical activity and just generally messing around with his friends. I worry that the lack of all that, will affect him more than changing school mid-way through the year.

Any advice would be welcomed.

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:33

Sorry, still long and I can see that this is not really an AIBU, although I did originally say "AIBU to homeschool my son for the forseeable future" since this is what my current plan is

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 02/06/2011 08:35

Personally, I'd take the school option but make it clear that you may be moving on.

wordfactory · 02/06/2011 08:36

Home education can be a superb way for children to learn.

However I do think the parents have to actively want it and be committed to it, rather than just ending up doing it iyswim.

BluddyMoFo · 02/06/2011 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lubberlich · 02/06/2011 08:37

For various reasons I went to 4 different schools before settling in a primary at the age of 7. I don't think that moving schools is actually as disruptive at a young age as parents fear it will be.
Socialising and enjoying the school environment matters to your son - so don't deprive him of it. Children don't make very solid attachments at such a young age. A friend is really just anyone who will play with them regularly.

seeker · 02/06/2011 08:39

I think you should send him to the nearest school. Keeping a child off school for a while because it's not convenient to send him to school is not the same as home schooling.

Or couldn't he stay in his current school?

Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:41

Really trois you don't think being in three schools (his current one, and the potentially two next academic year) in one calendar year, will be disruptful?

Word I see what you're saying. I will be committed to it once we get down to it. I'm not going back to work for the forseeable future and at aged 6 after having looked into it, I know this is something I can do.

It's the social aspect that concerns me

OP posts:
cricketballs · 02/06/2011 08:41

If you can only purchase within a 15 mile radius what/how many primary schools are there in that area? You may find that there is only one or two that you would want your son to attend and it maybe worth getting him into that school first and deal with the school run travel before you purchase. Don't forget that the good schools will more than likely be full and you might have to go on a waiting list etc.

Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:43

No seeker we are relocating such that same school is not an option.

I would actively home-educate him too; wouldn't just not send him in.

There's nothing convenient about having a bouncing six year old boy kept indoors that's for sure.

It is his welfare I'm thinking of; trying not to be too disruptive to him

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:44

I have looked at schools cricketballs there are lots of good ones where are are moving to, all over really so it doesn't really help.

WE've been looking for months and just a handful came up that were suitable and that we liked

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:45

lubberlich - this is what I've been thinking about.

I think he just kind of needs to play and get on with it (he'll be in year two in September) and I really hope that moving him again won't be too hard on him.

I just don't want him to be unhappy

OP posts:
AbbyLou · 02/06/2011 08:46

I also think you should go for the school option. If he is a sociable boy and enjoys being with his friends and the rough and tumble of physical play with others he will miss that a lot. I teach Year 1 and have seen many children come and go and moving schools may seem like a horrendous prospect but for a sociable confident child it really isn't a problem.

Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:47

Yes bluddy he does.

You and lubberlich are convincing me to enroll him.

I actually think that lack of the play and interaction, will be worse for him, now i think about it

OP posts:
Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:48

Thanks Abby

Thanks everybody, I think I will look into schools for him.

Just hope it's not for as short a period as half a term

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 02/06/2011 08:51

chic no I don't. I thin it's more important he has routine and structure and more importantly friends and is able to socialise. Going to be pretty insular and boring with you 24/7 (no offense meant). What difference is 3 schools to two schools? Army families have moved like nomads for years.

Original poster
chicletteeth · 02/06/2011 08:52

Trois you are right I think.
24/7 with me would not be fun; and I think he and his younger brother will probably rip each other to shreds.

No offense taken Grin

OP posts:
wordfactory · 02/06/2011 08:54

Well if you intend to be active and make the most of it, then I would go for it.

I have lots of friends who HE and all their children are happy and doing very well...very sociable.

People naturally balk against anyhting different of course...but doing somehting, juts becaus everyone does it, has never appealed to me.

throckenholt · 02/06/2011 08:58

You could look at it as a short interlude - time out for you and the kids to have fun together. If it is only for a few months I wouldn't bother trying to teach - just deschool - have fun, visit places, go for walks in the woods, learn from the world around you. And limit school type stuff to reading with him as much as he likes.

Do things like cooking - lots of practical maths in that - try doubling or halving recipes.

You might find that without the limits of school days your boys actually get on better than you think and you may not be struggling to be with them all the time. You don't need to be actively engaged with them all the time - give them space to play in their own way - you may be surprised.

throckenholt · 02/06/2011 09:00

one word of warning - if you do make sure you deregister properly from the school with the LA otherwise you risk being chased by the EO people.

Lots of threads on the HE section on how to formally deregister.

You could also use the time to go visit all the possible local schools in the area and really get a feel for which one he would like to go to long term - very difficult to do that when the child is attending school.

troisgarcons · 02/06/2011 09:01

I'm not that up on the rules and regs of HE - would the OP have to go through a palava of registering with the LA? and be inspected or anything?

The only HE's I've ever come across actually mean "perm exclusion, and appealing to get into another school" or traveller children who often seem to be outside of the mainstream.

Tortu · 02/06/2011 09:02

Myself and my brother were homeschooled for a year in early Primary school and it was lovely. It was for quite similar reasons and abroad. My mum is a teacher though, so had some idea of a plan.

Each morning we spent an hour on maths and then an hour on English (writing a diary of the previous day's afternoon adventure and reading a book of our choice). In the afternoon we would swim for an hour and then go on an adventure of our choice e.g. to the market, or a temple, or a snake farm, learning chess.

The result? No problems for me (the older, and perhaps more adjustable child), just very happy memories. My brother was unable to fit into mainstream education on his return, finding it very difficult as he was so far ahead and had been used to one to one attention and interesting, individual lessons (should also say mum designed our own maths problems based on stories to do with our life. She must have spent hours on them). Mum and dad had to pay for him to go to a slightly odd prep school (one where students choose what they study, when they want to study it). However, he did go on to study maths at Cambridge.

Good luck.

throckenholt · 02/06/2011 09:04

you wouldn't have to be inspected - usually if you have a visit it is a few months into HE - and if it is only for a few months then there would be no time for it anyway.

Just send in a letter saying what you intend to do with the time and wha tkind of learning experiences it will likely offer, and explain the short term nature of it.

SarkyLady · 02/06/2011 09:06

Have you visited the local school?

Best to know as much as poss about thx two options IMO.

You need to get a feel for whether you think your son will settle quickly and be happy there.
Are you guaranteed to be able to get a place for him?

Fecklessdizzy · 02/06/2011 09:08

Kids need to socialise, I think you'd all go a bit stir crazy at home!

zippy539 · 02/06/2011 09:11

Sorry if I've missed something but could you rent in the area where you currently live while looking elsewhere to buy? That way DS could stay in his present school until you find something to buy - so he'd only have one school move?