contemplating complaining to school but not sure if being pfb

[hermitcrab]

My dd age 9 took part in a Last Choir Standing event last night. The school has been rehearsing for the whole term, and the event was a competition between all the year groups in KS2. Each group sang four songs. The school had taken the whole of KS2 to the hotel where the event was held for the entire day....all in all it was billed to the children as quite a big event for them.
Fast forward to the judging and announcing of the results. The layout was all a bit American Idol, and each group got feedback from it's nominated judge,and then places were announced whilst all the children were on stage. My dd's year got no direct feedback or tips specific to them from their judge, he insisted on commenting on all the year groups as a whole. Then he announced the placement....in third, blah with so many points, only one point ahead in second... and a long way ahead in first place... Y6. My dd's year went from thinking that they might be the winners, to realising that they had come in last, and at no point got their points score, or the round of applause that the others got as the results were called. They handled it quite well, but a good number of them were crying on stage, they are only 8 / 9.

It just felt like a very shoddy ending to what had been a lovely event. The Principal was the Y4 judge, and I'm planning to email a complaint about the reporting of the results....but just want to check I'm not being pfb about it all. I don't especially care where her group came, just wish they had kept the 'did we win' sense of anticipation to between those placed second and first, not last and first.

"a form of child abuse"

Are you fucking serious?

I think every group of children who perform should at least get a round of applause because they've worked hard and have been brave to stand up imo.

I would feed that back for events like this in the future.

But I think the positives would outweigh the negatives.

Learning about losing is brilliant for life as long as it isn't so deflating that it stops a kid trying again. Maybe this group can be given applause at school at an assembly?

I do think I've become far tougher as my ds has grown up, I think we can be oversensitive about our children, we of course need to love them but life is really hard out there it's good if they get some sense of it too imo anyway.

I think someone has been on more than synthetic orange juice!

It seems a weird concept to put Years 3,4,5 & 6 in competition against each other. Y6 will always win so it seems a bit pointless.
So, never mind the way the results were announced, the whole thing seems a bit flawed. But I don't know how you communicate that to the Principal without annoying them.

Could use a house system for that sort of competition, but it might make rehearsing difficult.

Dd1s school does a "talent" competition based on the x-factor. For some strange reason they have got a club of children which judges it. Funny how the more popular the child the more likely to win isn't it?
This year dd1 sang "I dreamed a dream" and played the piano. She'd put hours of rehearsing in, and got cut off (by the teacher) before she'd got half way through the second line. The reason being that they were running out of time because they're not given a time limit and her class was one of the last.

Certainly don't think the hours of practice should mean she "won", and it doesn't bother me whether she won or not, she performs a lot so she's comfortable with her performances and can usually know when she's done a good one or a poor one. However, I think cutting them off so soon is rude in the extreme.
I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, but I'm going to write it as a comment on the feedback form they give out every year. I suspect it's entirely thoughtless, I don't expect the (non-music) teacher realises how much practice would go into such things.

Am indeed in the Middle East, yes at an expat international school (as I stated in my second (maybe third) post. Agree the children here do not tend to be the wallflower type, the majority having strong willed professional parents to bolster them up. I recognise am very lucky in that my children are getting a good education whilst we're here, and on the whole do appreciate the slightly less-fluffy approach to sport etc at the school.

Also agree that children have to learn to take and cope with defeat/knocks/ injustices that come their way, and also win graciously.
My gripe is that it was a compulsory event, all of KS2 taking part, and that I believe the results should have been given in the normal format for all other competitive events at the school, ie, fourth, third, second, and winner announced and recognised.

I'm grateful for the feedback here, and never intended to go in guns blazing at the school, but will be putting something in writing re the delivery of results. It is an annual event and previously only the winner has been announced apparantly (our first year taking part). Have seen other mums at the bowling alley, and the results were mentioned by a few that do not have Y4 children, so don't think it is just a case of sour grapes on my part.

Dd is fine today...a bit flat, but nothing she won't knock up to experience.

Yes, a bit pfb, is not nice, but disappointment is part of life etc etc.

hermitcrab was not getting at you, just the whole child abuse thing a bit irritating. Anyway, back to the 50c heat.

Possibly a bit PFB, but this sort of thing happens in the UK too.

My 2 DDs are in the school choir. Last year they entered into a local music competition. The first time the school had ever taken part. The choir was aged 8 -10 maybe a couple of kids were still 7. There were only 4 choirs in this particular competition too (all about the same age). After all the singing the "judge" came along. I can only describe him as a pompous prick. It was obvious that our choir was not the best. They didn't expect to win first time. One of the other choirs is well known locally for being brilliant. But no-one expected what came next. The judge was brutal. He went through each choir and ripped them to bits. The critique was not constructive. Everyone from the pianists to the choir masters to individual children were singled out for criticism. It was horrible. I'm honesty surprised that the judge walked out of there and wasn't lynched. Everyone was furious, even the winning group!

Apparently our school complained but the judge is "highly regarded" so nothing was ever done. They didn't enter this year.