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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate people asking if I have lost weight.

17 replies

messybessie · 01/06/2011 16:15

I haven't. I'm a size 16.

I really aggravates me because they are either saying

  • what you are wearing makes you looker thinner than that other thing
OR
  • they are assuming I must be on a diet, given my size, and therefore it must be the right thing to say.

One person has said it to ms everytime I havenseen her for the past 2 years. I am exactly the same size.

I'm not particularly happy with my size so am maybe over-sensitive but it upsets me.

OP posts:
Lainey1981 · 01/06/2011 16:18

Yanbu.
Happens to me a lot. If i really had lost weight every time they said, I would be a size 4

katvond · 01/06/2011 16:31

I would take it as compliment,they are saying it as they think you look good and you have lost weight. I think YABVU
Nothing wrong with being a size 16,I am a 14/16 if someone asked me if I had lost weight and looked thinner I would love it.

newbroom · 01/06/2011 16:34

I have a friend who always says this - at first I was quite flattered, but then realised it must be her stock compliment/ice breaker as she's been saying it for 2 years and I've gained at least 2 stone in that time Blush

Yukana · 01/06/2011 16:35

If I knew they were on a diet and working hard to lose weight, and I had noticed they had lost weight, then I would say so. For example, my mother is on a diet, working hard at it and when I notice she's lost weight I tell her. I also tell her if she looks nice in something. :)

If I didn't know they were on a diet, knew they were extremely sensitive about their weight or knew there was either a possibility or they did/do have an eating disorder, I would quite frankly keep my mouth shut unless asked for an opinion.

breathing · 01/06/2011 17:28

I get this. Usually when Ive put weight ON, which is weird.
I always think they must think of me as even fatter and then when they see me, it doesnt match their image.
Its pisses me off and now I lie and say yes even though I havent.

foreverondiet · 01/06/2011 18:01

I think its because people think its nice to praise people / give compliments, so people say it as they think its a compliment. She probably says it to everyone.

Try not to be sensitive about it.

AlpinePony · 01/06/2011 18:02

YANBU. I hate it when people make a comment on my weight - I am more than a number on the scales. :( It REALLY pissed me off when I lost 8 stone and people changed their attitudes towards me, I was still me - just in nicer clothes.

redexpat · 01/06/2011 18:43

You look lovely Smile

I hate it when people comment on weight, size. They just make assumptions. All. THe. Time. Like if you are skinny then all clothes fit and suit you. Also that you don't mind people commenting on your weight. Are you my GP? No. Is it any of your business? No.

When I'm feeling less hormonal than I am now I tell myself that they are trying to compliment and I should take it as such.

faverolles · 01/06/2011 18:49

YANBU Someone says this to me when I clearly haven't lost any, but they think the compliment will kickstart me into making an effort to lose weight, because obviously it bothers them, and of course it's their business Hmm

AurraSing · 01/06/2011 18:51

My mother says this to me every time I see her. As in "your sister is still nice and trim and her hair is immaculate, as always. Have you lost weight?".
I'm chuffed to bits if anyone else says it, but not my mum!

PatriciatheStripper · 01/06/2011 18:56

I'd rather they said that to me than the other stock compliment/icebreaker which is

"You look well"
Translation: "You've been at the pies again"

:o

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 01/06/2011 18:57

I used to get this all the time, and like you if I had really lost all the weight they told me i had I would be a size zero. I came to the conclusion as I am quite outgoing plus quite tall people tended to remember me as bigger than I really was. Only explanation I could think of. It's bloody annoying so YANBU.

Spagbolagain · 01/06/2011 18:57

YANBU. When I show my (skinny) sister a new outfit she always says, ooh lovely and it's very slimming. Like that must automatically be my top criteria, to look slimmer, it must mean the item is a success.
She is otherwise lovely, but this annoys me.

ThisIsJustASagaNow · 01/06/2011 18:59

Yes I feel awkward too. It's embarassing if you haven't and embarassing if you have. I lost quite a bit once and subsequently put a bit back on. I don't really want to discuss it tbhHmm

Twinkiesmum · 01/06/2011 19:04

Alpine Pony - how long did it take you to lose 8 stone? (Well done, by the way!)

activate · 01/06/2011 19:06

I always say "you just remember me being really fat"

ThisIsJustASagaNow · 01/06/2011 19:07

I never mention weight to people.

I might say 'hey you look great, I like what you're wearing', or ' I love your new hairstyle'. I steer well clear of weight.

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